Quarterly Review: Quarter Numero Uno

If you're a Bear fan you should know by now that Lovie Smith only sees NFL seasons one quarter at a time. So we here at SKO have decided to follow along and chart team's success over these quarter seasons. For quarter number one we are comparing each team's success to how they played last year.

AFC East:


Patriots:

Code Red: They can now run the ball and they can stop the run. Their passing game is less explosive now and their pass defense still sucks. PUSH

Iggins!: WORSE. They can't run the ball, damnit, they've run the ball against bad run defenses. They're the same team but teams now cover Gronkowski and Hernandez is hurt.

Bills:

Code Red: How are they so bad on defense? I mean, is Mario Williams just dead? Are they doing a Weekend at Bernies thing with him each week? WORSE

Iggins!: PUSH. They finished last season this same way. People know their offense and their defense is pretty bad. When Mario was out last year the Texans were still dominant. Should've been a bad sign.

Jets:

Code Red: LOL Rico Mirerez. WORSE

Iggins!: WORSE. Yargh. They need to start Tebow or something. Just a hot mess.

Dolphins:

Code Red: Hmm. It appears that perhaps Ryan Tannehill may not be a bust. He’s only really looked absolutely dreadful against the Texans, and that’s hardly fair to judge a lad in his first game against them. Their defense looks improved. I say BETTER, since they went 6-10 last year and with the Bills and Jets in their division 7-9 seems possible.

Iggins!: BETTER. Reggie running at full tilt and a surprising competency from Tannehill. The Tannehill thing won't last, but right now they're better.



AFC West:

Broncos:

Iggins!: BETTER. Trading Tebow for PeyPey pretty much guaranteed they'd be better.

Code Red: Better overall, worse on defense. Their secondary can’t stop anything. Still should win them that division.

Chargers:

Iggins!: PUSH. And they will continue to PUSH until they fire Norv Turner.

Code Red: Definitely PUSH. 8-8 all over that.

Raiders:

Iggins!: WORSE. Not sure how. Run DMC has been less effective and Carson is just ass.

Code Red: WORSE. They had to cut their best defenders (Stanford Routt and Kamerion Wimbley, who weren’t even THAT good) because of cap issues, so the defense is worse, and the offense is naturally worse with Palmer another year older and dead-er. I can’t even watch him anymore. So sad.

Chiefs:

Iggins!: WORSE. Matt Cassel is an abomination. The defense turned it around against Baltimore but as long as Cassel stands int he way KC has no hope.

Code Red: The defense looked better, although part of that was ol’ Cam Cameron’s natural response to teams that focus on stopping Flacco while ignoring Ray Rice: THROW MORE WITH FLACCO!



AFC North:

Steelers:

Code Red: Looking older on defense and pretty much the same on offense. WORSE, but still probably a playoff team.

Iggins!: WORSE. The Steelers are on the decline. Mendenhall returning is only good in the sense that they finally have a mediocre RB. Mendenhall has never really been anything special.

Ravens:

Code Red: Pass defense is shittier, offense is slightly better. WORSE, but still probably going to win the division.

Iggins!: WORSE: Yeah, the answer to the offense was actually the OPPOSITE of this, Baltimore.

Bengals:

Code Red: Defensive line is murderous. Offense looks better, secondary looks weaker. I’ll say PUSH, because 9-7 or 10-6 seems likely.

Iggins!: PUSH because they were the Bucs of two years ago last year and will be the Bucs of last year this year (with a weaker schedule). They'll fight with San Diego for a playoff spot nobody deserves, and get soundly beaten by either New England or Baltimore in round 1.

Browns:

Code Red: Offense has actually been watchable at times, so of course their defense plummets from a top 10 unit to garbage. Poor Cleveland. I feel like the next head coach/regime that comes in next year may get off to a surprisingly good start, because there’s talent scattered about if anyone can put it together. Their brutal schedule hasn’t helped. I’ll say PUSH, because it ain’t like they can be worse than last year.

Iggins!: BETTER because this team seems like they're ripe for a bump similar to what Harbaugh did with San Francisco. They're desperately trying to show they're good but the shit aura hanging around them is weighing them down.


AFC South:

Texans:

Iggins!: BETTER. What more can be said? They're doing everything right.

Code Red: BETTER. Defense is even better (JJ Watt is some kind of God) and Schaub is healthy. Duh.

Colts:

Iggins!: BETTER. Was about to say worse because I forgot last year happened to them. Luck is pretty darned good. The defense is just good enough. Reggie Wayne isn't too old yet. They might surprise some people and contend for that final, terrible playoff spot.

Code Red: BETTER: looking like last year's Bengals.

Titans:

Iggins!: PUSH? Can't even remember what they did last year. With Locker, they've improved. With Hasselbeck, they're worse. So... push.

Code Red: WORSE. Defense is worse than last year. Offense was going to be better with Locker, but it sounds like we won't see him again soon.

Jaguars:

Iggins!: BETTER?. You can't get much worse than last year for the Jags, but Gabbert isn't exactly much better and the pass d is a shell of its former self. Wait a minute... WORSE? Oh jesus. Poor Jags.

Code Red: WORSE. Had a top ten defense last year. Now they're awful. Blaine Gabbert hasn't improved in the slightest. The problems he has aren't fixable. They aren't minor mechanical issues. He is scared. He has no pocket presence. He's not good.



NFC East:

Giants:

Code Red: PUSH. People want to say worse, because they've struggled at times for a Superbowl champion, but they looked like shit for 2/3rds of the regular season last year, also. As long as they don't fall way behind they're still going to be in the mix.

Iggins!: PUSH. The Giants make a living off tripping into the playoffs then going bananas when they get there.

Eagles:

Code Red: PUSH. Defense looks like it's figured out what kind of scheme it wants to run and how to use their secondary, but Vick looks inexcusably awful. 3-2 now, but they could go either way at this point, from putting together a run to finish 12-4 or dropping back to 8-8.

Iggins!: PUSH. They're an 8-8 team.

Redskins:

Code Red: BETTER. Defense is much worse thanks to injuries, but, RGIII. Please don't ruin him.

Iggins!: BETTER. Defense is godawful but RG3 has given their offense some punch. Hopefully his head is alright.

Cowboys:

Code Red: PUSH. Secondary is better, run defense and offense are both worse, Romo is still Romo.

Iggins!: PUSH. Inconsistency seems to be the status quo for the Cowboys.



NFC West:

49ers:

Iggins!: PUSH. Great defense, acceptable offense, can't play from behind.

Code Red: PUSH. Probably slightly better on offense, but not going to win 13 games again, I'm guessing.

Cardinals:

Iggins!: PUSH. They suck. Don't believe the hype. They'll finish 8-8.

Code Red: What hype? There's been literally no hype. Everyone but TEC has been saying exactly what you just said. I'll say PUSH.

Iggins!: ESPN has the largest saturation of any sports related entity, sir. And THEY have hyping them.

Rams:

Iggins!: BETTER. Fisher has improved the defense greatly. The offense is anemic, but they can at least win games with it.

Code Red: BETTER. That one's easy. Fisher will have the Rams be the new Titans in no time. Congrats, St. Louis. Every two years you'll win a wildcard and lose a first round playoff game!

Seahawks:

Iggins!: PUSH. Still have a great pass defense, still only have BEAST MODE on offense.

Code Red: PUSH. Hard to say they're any different than the good running, good defense team that was let down by erratic QB play last year.



NFC South:

Falcons:

Code Red: BETTER. But I agree with you that I wouldn't take them over the the Bears, Texans, Pats, or any team that has a better defense than them. Schedule is cake.

Iggins!: PUSH. Same team, easier schedule. Their offense is slightly better but the defense is slightly worse. They aren't going to the Super Bowl.

Buccaneers:

Code Red: BETTER? Maybe? They'll probably be better than 4-12. Maybe. Possibly.

Iggins!: PUSH. That win over the Panthers ain't looking so good nowish.

Panthers:

Code Red: PUSH. They have no help around Cam, who seems mired in the dreaded sophomore slump. Could easily see 6-10 again.

Iggins!: PUSH. Same exact team. How has nothing changed!?

Saints:

Code Red: WORSE. Oh, so much worse. Poor Breesus.

Iggins!: WORSE. Obviously. That defense is more permeable than... anything with giant holes in it.



NFC North:

Bears:

Iggins!: BETTER. Obviously. The offense is still meshing but better than last year, the defense is better... that means they're better.

Code Red: BETTER. And should only get better as the offense gels and the offensive line gets more experience. Defense just needs to stay healthy.

Vikings:

Iggins!: BETTER. Also obviously. Their defense is disciplined and cohesive, Pennington 2.0 is in full Pennington mode, and Purple Jesus is still Purple Jesus.

Code Red: BETTER. Obviously. They’re basically last year’s Bengals. I could easily see them, with their schedule, getting to 9-7 or 10-6 and winning the wildcard without beating either the Bears or Green Bay.

Packers:

Iggins!: WORSE. I think. Actually they're pretty much the same, it's just defenses figured out their offense so now their shitty defense is being exposed.

Code Red: WORSE. Teams have finally figured out what Lovie’s defense has known for a while. They can’t run. They don’t want to run even if you give it to them, and if you play two deep the entire time and force them to go 9, 10, 11 plays to score that you can contain them and hold them under 28 points, which seems to be the threshold their defense wants to let everyone that isn’t Seattle or the Bears (DAMN YOU MIKE TICE) reach, so they’re beatable. Hopefully the Texans can simply take care of business and we can bathe in more Packer angst for the last remaining week before our Bears take the field again.

Lions:

Iggins!: WORSE. Really this is the same thing. People just figured out that Stafford is Grossman.

Code Red: WORSE. Their defense is even worse since their cornerbacks were playing semi-pro ball in Finland last year. Avril is hurt, Suh hasn’t made much noise since his rookie year (you know who has about a bajillion more sacks than Suh since 2010? Henry Melton), Vanden Bosch is old, and they literally didn’t have anything remarkable on their defense other than that line to begin with, so they can’t stop shit. On offense they’re the Packers with fewer weapons and a much less patient quarterback. They can’t and don’t want to run, and Stafford’s not willing to work it 10-12 plays to score. He’s going to force it to Megatron and balls are going to go the other way a lot. Their rapid return to mediocrity would be shocking if it wasn’t so utterly predictable. Also, Briggs and Tillman have more TDs this year than Calvin Johnson. HA.