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Monday, October 22, 2012

Bears 13, Lions 7- These ARE Your Father's Lions

The box score will tell you this game was close, but it really wasn't. The Lions never stood a chance of winning this game, no matter how many unnecessary roughness penalties they racked up (2), or how badly they tried to knock Cutler out of the game. This Bears defense proved once again tonight that they'll shut down anyone, anywhere, and they will punch your balls out repeatedly.

The Bears move to 5-1, maintaining control of the division, while the probably-fucked Lions dropped to 2-4, proving that, hey, Detroit is still Detroit after all. I mean, there was a time in the 90s when the Lions weren't consistently awful. They were just awful the year after meaningless playoff appearances. Welcome back:

Onto the specifics:


Jay Cutler: The numbers weren't there, but anyone who saw the game will know why he's up here first. I've certainly argued against the "Jay Cutler is a wuss" crowd in the past, but even if it wasn't already the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard before tonight, after tonight I hope to never hear it again. As long as #6 is the quarterback of the Bears, I'll be happy, because he's a bad-ass mother fucker.

Matt Forte/Michael Bush: 28 rushes, 132 yds, 4.7 ypc. This combo works, and I'm glad they committed to it, even if they forgot it at the goal line (more on that later).

Julius Peppers: He had another sack, but disrupted the Lions on many plays, including Stafford's game-clinching interception. He's got more help than ever now, but he's still the star of the show.

The Rest of the D-Line: They finished with three sacks, but Stafford was hurried and harassed most of the night, and it showed. Shea McClellin had a half a sack, because fuck Hub Arkush.

Charles Tillman: He blanketed Megatron again, holding him to just 34 yards receiving. He broke up a touchdown pass right before a turnover that kept Detroit off the board. He punched a ball out (even if the fumble went out of bounds) because Charles Tillman is very good at football.


Gabe Carimi: I'm getting really tired of putting him here. At some point you've got to be able to block SOMEBODY in pass protection, Gabe. Please don't be Gabe Colombo.

Stupid Penalties: Several of them killed drives, drove starting field position back to the shadow of the endzone, and made the f*&king Lions look disciplined. Unacceptable.

Mike Tice: Christ, Mike. We've been over this. His name is Michael Bush. He's a fucking battering ram. Detroit showed no interest in stopping him at all tonight. Just give him the ball when you're at the fucking 3 yard line and it's 17-0 Bears and Jay can rest his ribs for an extra quarter.

Ndamukong Suh: Okay. That hit may not have been illegal, but fuck you. Overrated sack of shit.

Matthew Stafford: Stafford was seconds away from picking a fight with DJ Moore's back all night, as he was clearly flustered and frustrated that P'Nut once again took away his favorite toy. Nice turf-face, Bitchford.

That's all for now. Others will say "it wasn't pretty." Maybe you think so if you don't enjoy watching Lovie's defense rack up takeaways at an absolutely epic rate. I, personally, thought it was fucking beautiful.

Go Bears.


Erik said...

I know that hit was pretty nasty and all, but I was actually pretty impressed with Suh tonight. It was a legal hit, and you can't penalize a guy for using his strength. He immediately went over to check on Jay when he didn't get back up, and later he could have legally laid Jay the fuck out after a pass and instead he pulled up short and said a friendly word. Old Suh would've put him in the turf, fine or no fine. He's still an asshole, and he has a long way to go, but it's good to see he's at least trying.

Fro Dog said...

Mike Tice pisses me off. They had it inside the 5 and could have went up 17-0 as you said. Instead, they throw three straight times and two of those attempts could have been interceptions. I am glad to know that it's not just me thinking this. I thought at first it was because I play too much Madden.

Iggins! said...

Fro, the invective I texted to Red was legendary after that series. Bush broke off an 11 yard run and a 5 yard run two plays earlier. Cutler was hurt. So they called three passes. It was one of the worst play calling decisions I've seen this year.

Not to go all Barnwell on everyone, but the difference between 17-0 and 13-0 is massive. 17-0 is three possessions, game over. 13-0 is the same as 10-0, two possessions. Not only should the Bears have run it three times, they should have run it FOUR times if necessary. The difference between 10-0 and 13-0 is negligible (You might even say 13-0 is more dangerous because at 10-7 the Lions would try for a field goal instead of a TD) and do we really think the Lions would make it out of their own 1 yard line against the Bear defense?!

Infuriating. An incredibly annoying play call in an otherwise great game.

Erik said...

That was an extremely poor call. I was yelling to pull him after he underthrew an 8-yard pass, Jay Cutler does not underthrow short. He's more likely to put it clean through the receiver's chest than not put enough zuzu on it from within spitting distance. So they have him throw a short pass into tight coverage three times. BRILLIANT!

I'm really concerned that Tice isn't figuring this out. He's tiptoeing a fine line between what we brought him in to do and doing the Martz thing.

Lee said...

The most common result of a Martzzer moment is putting unnecessary pressure on a QB despite having a good RB. Keep in mind that a Martzzer moment can evolve into a Martzzer synthesis, depending on the stubbornness/stupidity of the offensive coordinator(I'm looking at YOU Cam Cameron!!!)

/End crappy Boondocks reference.

Code Red said...

Iggins, That's not going Barnwell. That's common sense. 17-0 is damn near impossible to come back from. If you want to throw down there, you throw on second down if they stuffed the run on first down right away. Even then I probably would have run Bush three straight times, but you don't dig yourself into a hole where the only option is more passing.

Yeti said...

Did Tillman not have 2 forced fumbles? He knocked two out on Pettigrew on the same drive, yes?

Erik said...

I think one of them was technically called an incompletion.