Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 4

Standings:

NCAA

Code Red: 19-11

Mrs. Code Red: 17-13

Iggins!: 17-13

NFL:

Code Red: 25-23

Mrs. Code Red: 23-25

Iggins!: 19-29

Overall:

Code Red: 43-35

Mrs. Code Red: 40-38

Iggins!: 36-42

Browns @ Ravens

Code Red: Aww. Thanks to Rog’s stupid rule that lead to an unnecessary Thursday Night game for everyone, we get Brandon Weeden’s decapitation on national TV. Ravens win.

Iggins!: Holy shit, 19-29?! WOW. I’ll take the Ravens to win, obviously.

Code Red: Yeah, things are not going your way. It’s awesome.

Mrs. Code Red: Ravens.

Panthers @ Falcons

Iggins!: The Panthers are pretty easy to figure out at this point. They’ll trash the teams worse than them and get trashed by those better. Falcons win.

Code Red: This is the year! That the Falcons win a playoff game. Definitely maybe. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Falcons.

Vikings @ Lions

Code Red: The Vikings could totally win this game. Stafford may not play, and the Lions defense is horrid. That said, I’m going with the outcome that guarantees at least a share of first place for the Bears anyway. Lions win.

Iggins!: That Vikings win last week was interesting, and the Lions looked like garbage with Stafford in, so I’ll try to get some wins back and take the Vikings to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Lions.

Chargers @ Chiefs

Iggins!: I’m going to be at this game for my anniversary so the Chiefs better fucking win.

Code Red: So, so touching. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers.

Titans @ Texans

Code Red: The Texans are just frighteningly good. I don’t see Jake Locker being able to win this game singlehandedly, since you know their run game will do nothing against that Texans front seven. Texans win.

Iggins!: Yeah, but Locker looks pretty solid. He’s going to get beaten up here, but he shouldn’t take this ass-kicking to heart. He has a future. Texans win.

Code Red: I said nothing negative about Jake Locker. You know he’s an ARMCOCK I’ve long admired.

Mrs. Code Red: Texans.

Patriots @ Bills

Iggins!: Do the Bills have the same schedule they had last year? Jesus. This is where the Bills upset the Pats if we follow the storyline, right? Haha, well, I don’t think the Pats are losing 3 in a row, I don’t care if they’re playing 11 Godzillas. Patriots win.

Code Red: And 6-10 looks entirely possible again! Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Patriots.

49ers @ Jets

Code Red: These two teams are mirror images of each other, only the Jets are worse at everything than the 49ers. 49ers win.

Iggins!: Yeah, that about sums it up. The Jets are what the 49ers would be if the 49ers sucked. 49ers win.

Mrs. Code Reds: 49ers.

Seahawks @ Rams

Iggins!: The Ram pass defense has been surprisingly stout, but I have refursed to pick St. Louis to beat Seattle since they screwed me two years in a row: Seahawks win.

Code Red: Going to be real interesting to see which of the Good Defense/Mediocre Offense pairing in the NFC West will float to the top. Seahawks win.

Mrs. Code Red: Seahawks.

Bengals @ Jaguars

Code Red: I feel the Bengals collapse coming at some point. They’ll be a very deceiving 3-1 after this. But, shit, Gabbert can’t hit a lucky 80 yard pass with two second left every week, can he? Bengals win.

Iggins!: Poor Andrew Luck. That was one of the few winnable Colts games this year. This is a great game for an upset, butI’ll keep it safe and take the Bengals to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bengals.

Raiders @ Broncos

Iggins!: Have to go with Peyton here now that the Broncos are out of a brutal 3 game stretch to open the season. Broncos win.

Code Red: Indeed you do. Broncos win.

Mrs. Code Red: Broncos.

Dolphins @ Cardinals

Code Red: The Cardinals, 49ers, and Seahawks all have top tier defenses. All of them have middling-to-bad offenses. It’ll be interesting to see who rises to the top. Cardinals should have no issues here, though.

Iggins!: If Reggie Bush plays, this ought to be close, but I’m done picking against Arizona until they actually manage to lose. Cardinals win.

Mrs. Code Red: Cardinals.

Saints @ Packers

Iggins!: I would not want to be the Saints right now. The Packers are 1-2 and just got screwed more epically than any team has ever been screwed. Saints at 0-4? Saints at 0-4. Packers win.

Code Red: This is going to get ugly. The Saints defense has been historically bad the first three games, and here’s a Green Bay team that’s been bottled up for four straight games going back to the playoffs, and is now extremely pissed off. Packers win big.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers

Redskins @ Tampa Bay

Code Red: Tampa Bay’s defense is very good when they have Gerald McCoy, but that offense is shit. Josh Freeman looks nothing like the guy he seemed to be in 2010. RGIII should outscore them. Redskins win.

Iggins!: Vincent Jackson is trying so goddamned hard to make Freeman look good. The Bucs can’t stop RG3 enough to keep up with Washington. Redskins win.

Mrs. Code Red: Redskins.

Giants @ Eagles

Iggins!: The Eagles are bad. Very bad. Beating the Ravens was more because the Ravens just do that randomly sometimes. Giants win.

Code Red: The Eagles aren’t bad. Their defensive line is stout, their secondary is good, they can run the ball. They’re just crippled by the human turnover machine. Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Eagles.

Bears @Cowboys

Code Red: These two teams are also very similar. So much talent on both sides of the ball, and yet it’s hard to really declare either of them contenders until they put together a few complete games in a row. If the Bears are smart, and if Cutler finally steps up and plays like he’s capable of playing, they should win this. They certainly need to keep on the pedal while Green Bay is down. Bears win, 24-17.

Iggins!: The Cowboys coin-flip was heads last week. That means this week it’s tails. Bears win, 20-9.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears 24-10.