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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 10

Raiders (4-4) at Chargers (4-4)
Code Red: Both of these teams are a goddamn mess. The Chargers have to win this, right? I don't want them coming into Chicago on a terrible three game losing streak. Chargers win.

Iggins!: Like that would matter? You really think the Chargers are good there, don't you? I may not think they're good, but Palmer has looked so bad I can't do anything but pick the Bolts to win at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers. Please God, Philip Rivers. Get your shit together. It has to happen eventually, right? Right?

Bills (5-3) at Cowboys (4-4)
Iggins!: Yeah, I'm not gonna pick the Cowboys. They don't exactly have the Jet's defense. Bills win.

Code Red: I fear the Bills may be fading, but Dallas sucks. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Bills. I'll never trust Tony Romo, especially not when Miles Austin is hurt again.

Saints (6-3) at Falcons (5-3)
Code Red: The Saints should set themselves firmly at the top of their division after this one. Saints win.

Iggins!: I have to pick Breesus here. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints. Do I need to justify picking Breesus?

Texans (6-3) at Buccaneers (4-4)

Code Red: Troll hard, sir. Troll hard. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, I guess the Texans are alright. Good balance. I like Ben Tate. Promising young RB they have there. Texans win.

Rams (1-7) at Browns (3-5)
Code Red: Oh, this is awful. St. Louis managed to lose to the Cardinals last week, but I still think they'll find a way to overcome a Browns team that's just terrible and has no offense at all. Rams win.

Iggins!: Ima recap for you. The Rams scored 13 points against Arizona last week. Four of those points were safeties. I'll take the Browns at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...I'm gonna go with the Rams. If Sam Bradford's going to get it together, ever, it'll be here.

Steelers (6-3) at Bengals (6-2)
Iggins!: It looks like the Bengals have three games left they will most likely win, then two each against the Steelers and Ravens and one against Houston. If they can just pull the upset in one they might make the playoffs... oh why the hell not. CINCINNATI WINS.

Code Red: You're a mad man. Pittsburgh wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm also going to roll with Andy Dalton, the Ginger Rifle. Bengals.

Code Red: The whole damn world is mad.

Redskins (3-5) at Dolphins (1-7)
Code Red: Oh God, this is another awful one. Also, if you haven't seen the interview where Mickey Rourke describes Rex Grossman as a “trainwreck with balls,” you absolutely must. Shanny should definitely put Rex back in, because he's far more entertaining than Beck. I expect the Skins defense (which is pretty good, actually) to win this one in an ugly, unwatchable contest. Redskins win.

Iggins!: This could be one of the worst games you will ever see (Though I doubt much of the country will see it). I'll take Miami at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Sexy Rexy should come back. I bet it'll happen here, with heroic results. Redskins win.

Titans (4-4) at Panthers (2-6)
Iggins!: Killa Cam has had very little to do with the Panther losses. If Carolina can add one more good receiver, kill Deangelo Williams, and upgrade the defense just a little bit they're a 10-11 win team next year. I'll take Carolina to win here.

Code Red: Isn't it odd? The Panthers are 2-6, and yet every week I'm inclined to pick them. I'll do it again here. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red:'s so hard to pick against Cam Newton. I won't. Panthers win.

Cardinals (2-6) at Eagles (3-5)
Code Red: Per usual, the Bears get a great win and the dominant theme is still “what's wrong with [insert Bears opponent]. I've heard several people talk about how the Eagles “didn't show up.” Oh well. The Eagles will break through here.

Iggins!: That's odd. All I saw on ESPN is that the Bears are really good, and Mike Florio was on the radio saying the same thing. You sound like an Iowa State fan there, Red. It does not count as breaking through to beat AZ, it counts as taking candy from a baby. Eagles win.

Code Red: Sadly, it was mostly on Chicago's own local sports radio. Philly did show up, Hub Arkush. They showed up and got their asses soundly kicked.

Mrs. Code Red: Eagles, I guess.

Broncos (3-5) at Chiefs (4-4)
Iggins!: That was an awful, awful thing that happened last week. I'll take the Chiefs to win for one more week, but if they lose here I'll have to forsake them.

Code Red: I'll take the Chiefs here because the cause of stopping Tim Tebow-mania is a cause dear to the hearts of all red-blooded Americans. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chiefs. Tebow still sucks, no matter how bad Oakland's defense is.

Jaguars (2-6) at Colts (0-9)
Code Red: So many awful matchups this week. The only unit out of the four involved in this game that is any good is the Jaguar defense, so I'm taking Jacksonville.

Iggins!: This is the Colts' best chance for a win, but I'm pretty sure they want the #1 pick more than a win. Jaguars win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Jags.

Ravens (6-2) at Seahawks (2-6)
Iggins!: Yeah. Ravens.

Code Red: Who the hell is responsible for firing Pete Carroll? Why hasn't said person done so? He clearly has no vision. They have a decent defense built mostly out of retreads that can't be built around for the future, they have no offensive line (apparently Chris Spencer wasn't part of the problem, eh?), and their coach personally identified Tarvaris Jackson as his guy and actively pursued him in free agency. THIS MAN DOES NOT NOW HOW TO MANAGE A FRANCHISE. Anywho, Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm gonna go out on a limb and take the Ravens.

Giants (6-2) at 49ers (7-1)
Code Red: This should be interesting. Eli's been playing well this year, but the Giants tend to struggle when they can't run the ball at all, which tends to be the case against this awesome 49er front seven. I'm going to say the Giants still find a way to win this one.

Iggins!: I have to agree. The 49ers aren't as good as their record suggests. Giants win.

Code Red: They'll still be the two seed, because no one in that division can even dream of moving the ball against that defense of theirs. They're very 2005 Bears-like, but the NFC isn't as weak now as it was then.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Eli is playing surprisingly well. Giants win.

Lions (6-2) at Bears (5-3)
Code Red: Last time, the Bears controlled the clock, outgained the Lions for most of the first three quarters, and then repeatedly shot themselves in the foot with penalties, bad decisions, and big plays. Since then they've been a 100% completely different team. I think it'll be enough. Bears win, 27-13.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears. That is all.

Iggins!: Bears. That is all.

Patriots (5-3) at Jets (5-3)
Iggins!: People have figured out the Patriots, and Rex Ryan has Brady's number. I'll take the Jets.

Code Red: I want to go with the continued decline of New England. There certainly are more dark days ahead. But I just can't imagine New England losing three in a row yet. Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dammit. I can't do it. I can't go against them. Patriots win.

Vikings (2-6) at Packers (8-0)
Code Red: The Packer aren't much different than the Pats, in that their defense has been bad enough this year that they'll probably lose the first time Aaron Rodgers has a less than outstanding game. I don't know when someone will make that happen, though. It won't be Minnesota, at least. Packers win.

Iggins!: The Patriots are getting beaten because defenses figured out that, without Randy Moss, they have no vertical passing game, so every throw is made in the same 25 yard area. The Packers aren't being figured out because Aaron Rodgers isn't good because of a scheme, he's just good. Saying they'll lose if he has a bad game is like saying the Cubs will win the World Series if they stay healthy. What are the odds? Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers. Sigh.

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