Week 6 NFL Picks

After last week the picks race on the NFL side stands on the exact opposite side of the spectrum, with me being up 30-12, and Red coming in with a 25-17 record. This puts us at a tie overall, which is unac-fucking-ceptable.

(2-3) Houston @ (4-1) Cincinnati

Iggins!: Clearly the Bengals are for real, and the Texans are more inconsistent than that case of herpes you got 2 years ago, and much like the Texans, they always show up at the wrong times. Cincinnati wins.

Code Red: The Bengals are certainly for real, but at some point they have to come down off this high they’re on, at least briefly. The Texans are dangerous enough to do it. Texans win.

(1-4) Detroit @ (2-2) Green Bay

Code Red: Green Bay is teetering on the brink. If this game were in Detroit I’d be tempted to go for the upset, but alas, Rodgers will be too much for the Lions in Lambeau. Packers win.

Iggins!: I totally agree with those sentiments. Packers win.

(3-2) Baltimore @ (5-0) Minnesota

Iggins!: DIE VIKINGS DIE. Ravens win.

Code Red: No seriously, fucking die. Ravens win.

(5-0) New York Giants @ (4-0) New Orleans

Code Red: This game should kick total ass. That is all. Breesus shall be the hand of victory, however. Saints Win.

Iggins!: Though shall not pick against Breesus. Saints win.

(1-4) Cleveland @ (3-2) Pittsburgh

Iggins!: Cleveland managed to participate in the worst game… ever, last week. The Steelers almost lost to Detroit, but that says more about the Lions than the Steelers. Steelers win.

Code Red: God damnit, Cleveland. You have fucked up my bet that you’d win the #1 overall pick by winning a game so ugly that it disgraced the very name of football. Pittsburgh shall make you pay. Steelers win.

(1-3) Carolina @ (0-5) Tampa Bay

Code Red: Carolina. And please, sweet jesus, get DeAngelo Williams some mother f*&king carries!

Iggins!: Tampa will win their first of the year. Tampa Bay wins.

(0-5) Kansas City @ (2-3) Washington

Iggins!: Wow, the ‘skins schedule is really easy early on. I keep picking the Chiefs and they refuse to get their first win. DO IT THIS WEEK DAMN YOU. Kansas City wins.

Code Red: Holy shit, I could not care less about the result of this football game. I’ll pick the Chiefs, just so this game is a wash.

(0-5) St. Louis @ (2-3) Jacksonville

Code Red: Jacksonville. They still blow, but the Rams are epically bad.

Iggins!: Hooray for shitty games? Jaguars win.

(2-2) Arizona @ (2-3) Seattle

Iggins!: Wow I really have no opinion as to who wins this game. Home team? Seattle wins.

Code Red: Nay. Cardinals win.

(3-1) Philadelphia @ (1-4) Oakland

Code Red: Oakland against a finally healthy Eagles team? Dear god. Eagles win.

Iggins!: The Raiders… jesus they’re terrible. Eagles win.

(0-5) Tennessee @ (3-2) New England

Iggins!: Well at least Vince Young will get to play again. New England wins.

Code Red: Oh yeah, that’ll be great. Maybe he’ll refuse to go in again after the fans are mean to him. New England wins.

(1-4) Buffalo @ (3-2) New York Jets

Code Red: The Jets have now dropped two straight, the Bills three. Only one of these teams is actually talented and well coached, and that’s the one that’ll break the skid. Jets win.

Iggins!: The Bills are just about as terrible as the Raiders. Jets win.

(3-1) Chicago @ (3-1) Atlanta

Iggins!: The Bears defense, special teams, and Cutler will be able to keep this one close and win it at the end. DA BEARS.

Code Red: The Bears should be out for blood after the debacle that was last year’s Falcons game. They’ve had their entire bye week to game plan for the Falcons and get everybody healthy. The Falcon’s defense is only allowing 15.8 ppg, but their low rankings in total yards (21^st in the league at 355.8 ypg), run defense (24^th in the league, 127.0 ypg), and pass defense (23^rd in the league, 228.8 ypg) suggest to me that luck has been on their side. They rank behind the Bears defense in every category other than PPG (Bears 19.5, Atlanta 15.8), interceptions (tied at 3 a piece), and forced fumbles (Bears 4, Falcons 5). The Bears have far more sacks (14 to 8), and the Bears offense is just as dangerous as Matt Ryan and company. Those defensive stats tell me the Falcons have some serious weaknesses that can be exploited. Cutler and Forte will do just that. BEARS, 27-23.

(5-0) Denver @ (2-2) San Diego

Code Red: It’s unthinkable that Denver could win this game to go to 6-0. It was also unthinkable that they make it to 4-0 and 5-0, but they did. The Chargers look completely inept against the run without Jamal Williams, as they’re allowing 151.0 ypg on the ground, good for 27^th in the league. The Broncos are averaging 139.0 yards rushing on offense, good for 5^th in the league. You tell me how this ends. Broncos win.

Iggins!: I acknowledge, begrudgingly, that the Broncos are a very good team. But methinks they’ll still lose to these guys and the Steelers. Chargers win.