Oftentimes, in the sports world, there are people who just make you want to kill an infant out of pure bloodlust. Every Wednesday I'll be giving you one more person who deserves to be chucked out of a helicopter directly into the spinning blades of a helicopter at a lower altitude.
This week: Mike Shanahan, Head Coach of the Denver Broncos
Why Mike Shanahan? Three simple reasons:
1) Mike Shanahan hates Fantasy Football.
-Mike has never come out and said this but it's pretty clear. The man refuses to play who you think he will, and makes you look like a dumbass every time. Andre Hall?! Really? I bet he injured Travis Henry by himself just for the sole purpose of screwing fantasy owners everywhere.
2) He invented this ridiculous timeout 1/3 of a second before a FG thing.
-Mike was the first coach in the league to screw over one team's dreams by calling a timeout right before a game-winning FG, a trend which has become ridiculously over-used and, quite frankly, annoying. This is the ultimate dick-move, and Shanahan created it. That makes him the ultimate dick.
3) The arrogant bastard kicked the ball right down the pipe to Devin Hester.
-Obviously this helps me so I liked the move to kick the ball right to Hester, but how much of an arrogant dickwad do you have to be to say you aren't afraid of Devin Hester, Man-God, and then kick it right to the guy? Hester is a human cheat-code! In fact, I can't even do what he is doing in Madden. He is that good. You'd have to be either a dumbass or a dick to kick straight to him, and I think it is conceivable that Shanahan is both.