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Monday, November 12, 2007

Iggins!' Mind During Grossman to Berrian: The Return

What follows is an actual account of what was traveling through my mind and happening in real life during Rex Grossman's 59 yard pass to Bernard Berrian:

1 second into play:
Good he got the damned ball from center. Thats the first step, buddy. Now all you have to do is wind up and bring back the sex cannon, baby.

2 seconds into play:
Dropping back and he has good blocking... that's surprising. Why isn't Devin Hester getting a TD on all the returns he's had? Why isn't Devin Hester having my children?

Grossman winds up:
Oh shit ohshitohshit Rexy's windin up the cannon and he's goin deep baby. Christ I hope it isn't Moose down there. Why do we throw fly routes to him? He's so fuckin old and slow. I hope it's Berrian. And I hope he isn't double covered... or triple covered. Damn Rex just complete this bitch!!!!! We're losing to the Raiders for the love of God!

Grossman throws:
AHHHHH It's in the air itsintheair holy shit he just threw a massive fuckin pass that shit could travel for miles... oh fuck I hope there's a Bear down there and not a cheerleader or a Raider or Cher or Big Daddy Drew. That'd suck. I wonder how Drew is doin? Purple Jesus got hurt today I bet he's pissed...

Berrian is under the ball, Iggins! Sr. yells "Catch it!", I start yelling "Ahhhhhhhh!...":
OHMYFUCKINGGOD YOU BETTER CATCH THIS YOUPIECEOFSHITBERRIAN you better notdrop thisone you mutherfucker catchitcatchitcatchitcatchit!!!!!!

Berrian catches, runs into end zone:

Iggins! Sr. leaps from chair, Iggins! screams something... can't remember what... while leaping from chair, then yells "He's bringin Rexy back! The Cannon is back!"

all four videos below simultaneously:

For best effect play the first two at same time and watch both simultaneously, then proceed to 3 and 4. My mind basically melted down.

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