Progkakke Week 7

Progkakke Standings:

Iggins!: 63-29

Code Red: 59-33

Mrs. Code Red: 57-35

Erik: 56-36

Seattle Seahawks (5-1) @ Arizona Cardinals (3-3)

Iggins!: Arians is getting way too much out of not enough on the Cardinals, and I commend him for it, but even taking Seattle out of Seattle won’t be enough here. Seahawks win.

Erik: Yeah the Cardinals are better than they have any right to be, but the Seahawks are just way better. Seahawks.

Code Red: That defensive line will eat Carson Palmer alive. Seahawks win.

Mrs. Code Red: Seahawks.

Chicago Bears (4-2) @ Washington Redskins (1-4)

Erik: A lot is being made of the fact that RGIII “could return to form any day now,” KYLE. But I just don’t see how the Redskins, who are literally worse at every position than the Bears, pull this one out. Bears win, 31-21.

Code Red: Being uneasy =/= fatalism. The Bears should win this one.  Bears win 38-23.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears 28-24. I'm not predicting any blowouts till they prove they can do it.

Iggins!: The Bears can outscore the [REDACTED]s, so I'm not too worried. Bears win 38-27.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-5) @ Atlanta Falcons (1-4)

Iggins!: Look, Atlanta, is you don’t win here just rest everybody for the rest of the year and trade Tony G back to Kansas City. Atlanta wins.

Erik: I would argue that they should do that anyway. I doubt Roddy White has long left in him, and Steven 

Jackson thus far has done exactly what I said Steven Jackson would do in Atlanta. They have literally zero shot at anything of value this year. Still, the Bucs are really, reaaaally bad. Falcons.

Code Red: Yeah their season is over. Tony G should go back to KC. God that would make a great story! This is the NFL, though, so it won't happen. Still, Tampa sux. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red:  Can't believe Atlanta is 1-4. Falcons win.

Cincinnati Bengals (4-2) @ Detroit Lions (4-2)

Erik: This is a confusing one, and I would not have expected it to be at the beginning of the year. The Bengals have tried as hard as they can to not be a 4-2 team, but somehow they’re still here. The Lions have been the team their roster says they should be about 2/3 of the time, and the Detroit Lions the remaining 1/3 of the time. I guess I’ll take the home team here. Lions.

Code Red: The Bengals validated my faith in them when I picked them over the Packers, but that was at home. In the dome the Lions are just a better team. Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm taking the Bengals because I think their defense can slow down the Lions if Calvin Johnson isn't 100%. Bengals win.

Iggins!: The Bengals can't stop great receivers for shit and their offense kind of blows lately. Lions win.

Buffalo Bills (2-4) @ Miami Dolphins (3-2)

Iggins!: Poor Buffalo. They got a really solid performance out of Thad Lewis and now HE gets hurt. They signed Matt Flynn. ‘nuff said. Dolphins win.

Erik: The Catalyst approacheth Buffalo, let all rookies rejoice. But yeah they are not good. Dolphins.

Code Red: Remember 2004-2005, when Grossman got hurt after a few half decent games to start his career and we pined for him to save us as Quinn, Krenzel, Hutchinson, and young Orton sucked their way through two seasons? Then Rex came back and he wasn't really a savior at all? I think that's what'll happen to Bills fans and EJ Manuel. He'll play a full season someday and they'll realize he's David Garrard. Dolphins win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dolphins.

New England Patriots (5-1) @ New York Jets (3-3)

Erik: The Pats showed a little of that New England magic last weekend, validating my belief in Kenbrell Thompkins and confirming my distrust of Danny Amendola. I’m not even going to try to predict what the fuck is going on with Gronk, but I don’t think they need him here. Patriots.

Code Red: I want to murder you just for saying “New England magic.” Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Patriots, but just because they keep winning doesn't mean I think they're really all that good.

Iggins!: Probably gonna regret this, but I like that Jet defense, Brady has been looking rather poor, and the Jets should have won that first game in Foxboro. Jets win.

Dallas Cowboys (3-3) @ Philadelphia Eagles (3-3)

Iggins!: The NFC East leader will be above .500! And that team will be the Eagles. This would be a great game for the Cowboys to Cowboy and they don’t have Ware.

Erik: Vick being back should be a big boon to the Eagles, but that Dallas secondary is better than they’re getting credit for. But also not as good as Chris Collinsworth is giving them credit for. Without Ware, though, they have very little to threaten Vick and Shady with. Eagles.

Code Red: I'll take the Cowboys because variety is the spice of life.

Mrs. Code Red: The Cowboys should win this one, whether they will though is something I'm never sure of. Still, Cowboys win.

St. Louis Rams (3-3) @ Carolina Panthers (2-3)

Erik: What the fuck. Uh… Panthers?

Code Red: The Rams have gotten their asses absolutely handed to them in 3 games and then they've handed a few bad teams their asses in their 3 wins. Still, their offensive line is struggling once again and that Panthers D-Line is ferocious. The Carolina Newtons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Rams.

Iggins!: Flips coin... Panthers win again?

San Diego Chargers (3-3) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (0-6)

Iggins!: Chargers win.

Erik: Yup.

Code Red: Oh certainly.

Mrs. Code Red: Undoubtedly so.

Houston Texans (2-4) @ Kansas City Chiefs (6-0)

Erik: I guess we live in a world where a team that has Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, Ed Reed and JJ Watt on it is bad. The Texans’ offensive woes don’t get any better against the best defense in the league as the Chiefs keep on rolling.

Code Red: I loved Case Keenum at Houston in the way I love all noodle armed college QBs who put up “Star Wars numbers”, as Irsay would say, in crazy college spread offenses. I give him little chance as a pro quarterback, but even if I did, I wouldn't against the best defense in football. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: I am so done picking the Texans this year. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: 7-0 Chiefs eh? 7-0 Chiefs.

San Francisco 49ers (4-2) @ Tennessee Titans (3-3)

Iggins!: The Tits have basically given me my lead here, and I won’t abandon them now! Titans win. They’re at home, the Niner offense is struggling, the Titan defense is on the rise… something weird will happen, and the Tits will get the win.

Erik: Man you and your gut feelings. I can see it happening, I just can’t see how. It looks like Kap has finally figured out he can just throw to Vernon Davis on every play and it’ll work. That defense has been fucking voracious this season, and my fantasy team thanks them for it, but anemic offensive efforts have dampened it a bit. Niners.

Code Red: Yeah...oddly enough I have the same vibe Travis has. Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Every time I've picked against the 49ers it's bitten me on the ass. 49ers win.

Cleveland Browns (3-3) @ Green Bay Packers (3-2)

Erik: With Cobb and potentially Jones out, as well as Clay Matthews, the Packers are missing a fair bit of talent going against a tough Browns defense. The Ravens would’ve won last Sunday if they’d been able to do literally anything on offense. I’m going to go out on a limb and take the Browns here.

Code Red: I predict that, like last week, Rodgers will look out of synch and miss some passes and the commentators will manage to bend over so far backwards in making excuses for him that they fall out of their chairs. Then Rodgers will hit one goddamn deep ball again and that'll be enough. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: if this wasn't at Lambeau I would maybe think about it, but no. Packers win.

Iggins!: When I picked Cleveland last week I forgot how big of a minus Weeden is. Even with Cameron and Gordon he fucks it up. Packers win.

Baltimore Ravens (3-3) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (1-4)

Iggins!: I have to say Ravens win but I have no confidence picking this one.

Erik: I have no idea what to expect out of the Ravens anymore, but I know to expect disappointment from the Steelers. Ravens.

Code Red: Yeah...this is more difficult than it would seem to be. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I will show some courage here, boys. Steelers win.

Denver Broncos (6-0) @ Indianapolis Colts (4-2)

Erik: The Colts continued strengthening their claim to “most confusing team in the league” with an infuriating commitment to a “balanced attack” during a loss to the Chargers. And now they’ll be 4-3. Broncos.

Code Red: When Marc Trestman said “I don't care about balance I care about moving the football” I busted a zipper on my pants. The Colts have one of the most valuable assets in the NFL and are deliberately under-utilizing him in favor of Anthony Thomas II. Broncos win.

Mrs. Code Red: Broncos. Probably going to pick them for literally every game of the year, folks.

Iggins!: Still not at a point where I'm comfortable picking against Denver. Broncos win.

Minnesota Vikings (1-4) @ New York Giants (0-6)

Iggins!: This game looked so much better before the season. Jesus. Giants get on the board!

Erik: Baarrrf. I mean it still could be exciting, just to see if Eli can keep this horrible streak going. He’s been absolutely abysmal under pressure, and the Vikes bring as much pressure as anybody. I know you’re going to laugh at me, but I’m taking the Vikings again.

Code Red: This is true. I am fascinated by watching Eli Manning this year. He's on pace for 40 INTs. I would love it if he got there. I love how people act surprised at this, too. Sure, he's upped the pace but the guy has never been immune to turnovers. He threw 25 picks in 2010. Still, I'll take the Giants at home with Josh Freeman starting after barely two weeks with a new playbook.

Mrs. Code Red: If the Giants are going to win one at all this year, there'll probably never be a better situation than this one. Giants win.