Start Kyle Orton

Chiefs 10, Bears 3. Fuck It.

2011-12-04T15:07:00.002-06:00

Just fuck it all. Season's over, folks. I've got nothing. I didn't want to live through that game. I certainly don't want to relive it.

Raiders 25, Bears 20- Panic Mode

2011-11-28T16:25:00.002-06:00

I would be the woman in the chair.

Things aren't good right now, folks. I'm not one to overreact. There's a number of reasons to take some cautious optimism from this game (401 yards of offense, somehow, as well as 6.4 yards per rush and 172 yards rushing, they lost by one score to a good team on the road, etc.). But I'm just not feeling it at the moment. I'm worried.

We know a lot of things about Caleb Hanie at this point. He can do some fun things when he's improvising, like his TDs to Earl Bennett in the title game and the bomb to Johnny Knox. He's athletic, since he managed 50 yards rushing on just five carries, but I can't get over the fact that he appears to be incredibly dumb. I don't know how you throw an interception to BJ Raji. I don't know how you even begin to throw that first interception that he threw to a guy standing directly in front of him just a few feet away. I just don't know how this apparently recklessness that Hanie has will work itself out quickly.

Don't get me wrong. This wasn't Todd Collins, or Craig Krenzel or any of the embarrassingly awful schmucks they've thrown out there before. If Caleb was a rookie making his first start on a team that was going nowhere I'd consider him promising, but I'm not sure he's not going to continue doing stupid shit on a team that really can't afford it right now. At this point, Hanie's a wildcard that could keep this team from beating anyone of the teams that I'd have considered nothing more than cannon fodder for this team with Cutler at the helm. Hell, I'm scared of Tebow's Broncos at the moment. Do you have any fucking idea how much I hate to even say that?

You can say the Raiders are the best team the Bears have left before Green Bay, when, hopefully, Jay may be back. But they didn't do anything yesterday that any of the other teams in the AFC West couldn't do. They were terrible and couldn't run the ball. Caleb put them in position for nearly all of their scores, and it sucked, and it could potentially happen against any of the other teams the Bears Should beat the rest of the way.

Oh well. I'm sure this is just me panicking, and every time I seem to get near the edge this team does something good to get me to back up, so let's hope Caleb Hanie just had one horribly stupid half of football and has it out of his system.

The Good:

Johnny Knox- I'm still mad at him for slipping on that slant and inadvertently causing this whole mess, but Jesus, Johnny is playing some good football, with a 145 yards and a TD to follow his 97 yard effort last week. He's coming along. If his head is finally catching up with his talent, look out.

Forte/Barber: I like the move to give Barber more carries. Teams are going to stack the box and dare Caleb Hanie to beat them. Unfortunately, Matt Forte's edge runs and bounces to the outside tend to wind up in 3 yard losses against those kinds of fronts. The answer, as we saw, was to have Marion Barber run right into the teeth of the defense and drag them for four to six yards a pop. Together the Thunder/Lightning combo managed 22 rushes for 122 yards (5.5 YPC). Hopefully this will bode well in the games to come, since they're going to need it.

The Defensive Line: They had their best performance all year, with 4 sacks and consistent pressure, and they held Michael Bush to 2.9 yards per rush. They were a big part of limiting the Raiders to those six field goals that miraculously kept them in the game after Caleb's mistakes put them in some bad positions.

Sebastian Janikowski: The silver lining in all of this is that I own Janikowski on my fantasy team.

The Bad:

Caleb Hanie: Well, yeah.

Tim Jennings: He played well for most of the game, but he dropped two interceptions that would have taken Oakland points off of the board and he got beat on the pass that set up Oakland's clinching TD.

The Ugly:
Jay Cutler standing on the sideline: Oh, how it hurt my eyes.

Well, That Happened.

2011-11-21T15:35:00.002-06:00

Yep, Jay has a broken thumb. Best case scenario that I've heard (and that I'm choosing to believe, because, well, y'all know me) is that he could be back for the Green Bay and Minnesota games to close out the season. That sucks.

Oh well. Shit happens. It is ironic that this occurred on the very eve in which my recap consisted solely of touting the merits of a franchise QB, but Caleb Hanie can handle this. If you don't think Caleb, with Matt Forte, an improving offensive line, that defense, and Devin Hester on special teams can at least break even and get this team to the playoffs where Jay can save the day, well, you must not have been paying attention to any of the Bears teams that made the playoffs despite ENTIRE SEASONS of Kyle Ortons, Rex Grossmans, Jim Millers, and Steve Walshes. Now, if Jay was going to be out forever I'd say "oh well, playoff appearance my ass, you can't win a title with Caleb Hanie, at least not right now," but nobody so far has ruled Jay out for the title run. All Caleb has to do is fulfill every major QB cliche I've railed against for years. Manage the game, Caleb. Play within yourself. Take care of the ball, and fuck it, if you want to make a play every now and then, be my guest. Just watch out for BJ Raji.

I've had my moment of despair. Oh, last night I did hang my head sorrowfully. "Oh, great lords of the football world, why hath thou forsaken me?" I did query. They answered with silence, as they usually do. And lo, I did say, "Oh, bottle of Johnny Walker, a faithful friend thou art."

This morning I woke to a world where the Bears are 7-3 and a full game ahead of the other contenders for the 6 seed in the NFC playoffs. Nothing's changed. The goal is in sight. Bear down.

Bears 31, Chargers 20- Franchise'd

2011-11-20T19:14:00.003-06:00

For the first time in 2011, the Chicago Bears won a game because their franchise QB played like one.

Don't get me wrong, Jay had played very well in some blowouts (Atlanta, Minnesota) and had come up big late against Philly. He'd managed the game well a few times (Detroit 2, Carolina) and he'd been heroic in a losing effort in Detroit. He'd had a couple totally forgettable outings against Green Bay and New Orleans. All in all, he'd done just what he'd needed to do to get this team to 6-3 behind a great run game and a surging defense. But tonight, the Bears needed their guy to go toe-to-toe with San Diego's guy and light up the scoreboard, and he responded.

The Bears needed a showing like this on offense. They needed a game where the defense had shut down Matt Forte and Cutler proved to everyone that that wouldn't be enough to beat this team. Last week against Detroit the defense and Devin Hester had made any risk-taking on offense unnecessary. Tonight, Cutler had to drop back and sling the rock, and he put up a 31 point bomb while accounting for 3 total TDs and 297 yards of offense. Like a franchise quarterback would do.

The Good:
Jay Cutler: I'll just post his statline here: 18/31 for 286 yds, 9.2 YPA, 2 TDs, 1 INT (that came when Knox fell down on a slant. Again.), 5 rushes for 11 yds and a TD. You're the man, Jay. The pass to Roy Williams on third down with a defender draped around him was sheer awesome, and the TD toss to Knox...Jesus. I didn't think throws like that were possible.

Johnny Knox: He's often a punching bag for me, so I'll give Johnny some credit for his 3 catches for 97 yds and a TD. All three catches were beautiful routes, and Johnny even came back for the ball and made a great adjustment on a 42 yard back shoulder throw. Good on ya, Johnny, I'll ignore the slip that caused the interception for now.

Roy Williams: Speaking of punching bags, what the hell got into Roy Williams tonight? 5 catches for 62 yards, all of them great catches showing off good hands. What the hell?

The offensive line: San Diego was keying on the run, much like Detroit, but the offensive line gave Jay all the time he needed, as they kept the sack column clean for the second time in three games. They eventually got the run going there at the end after they'd opened some lanes with the pass. Great effort.

Urlacher/Briggs: San Diego managed 52 yards rushing thanks to these guys. Briggs was a terror in the backfield on nearly every run play, and Urlacher was a force as well.

Major Wright: It's early, but we've seen some signs the last few weeks that Major Wright may be the Mike Brown-esque ball hawk we were told he was on draft day last year.

The Bad:

Charles Tillman: I love you, P'nut, but today was not your day, outside of yet another classic Tillman ball punch. I'm not sure when they're going to learn that Charles isn't the guy to cover a speedster like Vincent Jackson, Steve Smith, or Greg Jennings. Megatron? Randy Moss? No problem, but anybody who can just burn right past Tillman is going to have a big day.

Sloppy Play: Too many penalties, a couple of which called back some great Devin Hester returns. Need to be more disciplined.

The Ugly:

Philip Rivers: Rivers is a talented guy. Smart enough to figure out how to throw the short passes and quick patterns that sometimes give the Lovie defense trouble, but he made the mistake most of the people who aren't Aaron Rodgers make against that D. He got impatient and it led to two key turnovers that sealed the game for the Bears. Also, he's a jag.

That's all for now. Every win at this point is a big one, and next week on the road against Oakland will be the toughest challenge left before the Green Bay game. I'm confident they'll keep rolling, since they showed tonight that even on a night where the two biggest reasons for their success so far (defense and Forte) are struggling, teams are going to have to account for #6. I don't think many teams have enough answers for what the Bears are doing right now. Lovie said that he thought this was the best and most talented team he's ever had in Chicago. I'm really starting to believe him.

Bear down.

(Also, my apologies for the technical difficulties in the SKOsbox this week. The shoutmix people have gotten some strongly worded e-mails. You know they're terrified of me.)

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 11

2011-11-17T14:04:00.000-06:00

Jets (5-4) at Broncos (4-5)
Code Red: Much as I loathe the cult of Tebow, I find this Broncos experiment with 1940s football to be quite interesting. It shall fail miserably against the Jets defense, but it shall be a gloriously entertaining failure. Jets win.

Iggins!: Actually the Jets run defense hasn't been as great this season. This'll be close, but I'll take the Jets.

Code Red: Allowing just 3.7 YPC in their last four, I believe. Much like the Bears, they appear to have straightened their defensive issues out, although Rico Mirerez is still there to torpedo their chances.

Mrs. Code Red: I would imagine the Jets' defense is much better than the Chiefs. Blitz him, what's he going to do? Jets win.

Raiders (5-4) at Vikings (2-7)
Iggins!: So last week I picked a couple games I shouldn't have and lost a game in the standings. I told myself I wasn't going to do that this week. Oh well. Vikings win!

Code Red: Well, I guess that means I roll with Oakland.

Mrs. Code Red: God dammit, Iggins!, I wanted to be alone in my Vikings pick. Vikings win.

Bengals (6-3) at Ravens (6-3)
Code Red: The Ravens beat good teams, but play poorly against bad teams. The question is, do they view the Bengals as a good or a bad team? Bah. They've won when I've needed them and Iggins! is crushing on Andy Dalton. Ravens win.

Iggins!: In the sense that Andy Dalton is basically Joe Flacco in his rookie year? Sure then. The Ravens are pretty easy to understand. If they RUN THE BALL they will win. If they run the ball FIVE TIMES like they did against Seattle they will lose. I'll take the Ravens but... I mean they haven't learned yet.

Code Red: Those sonsofbitches better run the goddamn ball. Daddy needs a big game from Ray Rice this week. Also, my Microsoft Word now saves and auto-completes “sonsofbitches” thanks to my frequency of use. Awesome.

Mrs. Code Red: How are the Bengals 6-3? I like Andy Dalton, I feel bad for him that he's in the same rookie class as Cam Newton. Ravens win.

Bills (5-4) at Dolphins (2-7)
Iggins!: This is a solid choice for an upset but I want to believe in the Bills. COME ON BUFFALO. Bills win.

Code Red: Both of these two teams need to end their streaks. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Bills are sliding, but I don't think they'll slide that far. Bills win.

Jaguars (2-7) at Browns (3-6)
Code Red: Oh God, why? That Jags defense is good. Cleveland's offense is brutal. Maurice Jones Drew may be the difference? Jags win.

Iggins!: This game will happen and nobody will know. Jaguars win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, go for broke seemed to work okay for me last week, so Browns it is.

Cowboys (5-4) at Redskins (3-6)
Iggins!: Good to know the Redskins are just as awful as we all thought. They did the start strong thing last year too. Cowboys win.

Code Red: I think if the Redskins have learned their lesson, they give Shanahan one more year, because I think he has a plan, and he's done a decent job of rebuilding their defense. I think he's had his eye on this year's draft to make his move for a QB, and I have a feeling it'll be Matt Barkley. Anyway, none of this changes the fact that it'll be the Cowboys who win this game.

Mrs. Code Red: My heart says Sexy Rexy, but my head says the Cowboys.

Buccaneers (4-5) at Packers (9-0)
Code Red: Sonofabitch. Packers win.

Iggins!: Packers win handily.

Mrs. Code Red: Stupid Packers. Packers win.

Panthers (2-7) at Lions (6-3)
Iggins!: I want so badly to choose Cam Newton here, but his team just ain't winning. Lions win.

Code Red: Oh fuck it. Save us, Cam. My rage at that bitch Matthew Stafford has not yet abated. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, I don't think they'll lose to Carolina. Lions win.

Cardinals (3-6) at 49ers (8-1)
Code Red: I'd love if the Bears or someone else can trip up Green Bay and the road to the Superbowl ran through San Francisco. That would be...odd, but better than a trip to Lambeau. 49ers win.

Iggins!: If the Bears lose to the Packers in the NFC Title Game again there will be oceans of blood. 49ers win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take a gamble and go with the 49ers.

Seahawks (3-6) at Rams (2-7)
Iggins!: What a great game this is! Seattle is rolling, so I'll take the Sea Chickens to win.

Code Red: Seattle's a shit team, but their run defense is pretty good. Their pass defense isn't good, but the Rams have shown no ability to take advantage of something like that. Seahawks win.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess I'll take the underdogs. Wait, who are the underdogs? They both sucks. The Seahawks apparently only beat good teams, so I'll go with the Rams.

Chargers (4-5) at Bears (6-3)
Code Red: I'm no longer afraid that this Chargers team is a typical “waiting for a late run” Chargers team. They're just not very good. Rivers looks like 2009 Cutler, trying to do far, far too much on a team that doesn't have much to offer around him. The Chargers have been gashed by the run and have allowed a QB rating of 96 to opposing passers this year. The Bears win, 28-14.

Iggins!: Yeah the Bears should win this handily, but due to this being a pivotal week for my fantasy team, I'm hoping Ryan Mathews scores a couple TDs. Bears win.

Mrs. Code Red: F*&k you Philip Rivers. Go Bears.

Titans (5-4) at Falcons (5-4)
Iggins!: I approve of the ballsy OT fourth down call. It didn't work, because he isn't Les Miles, but I approve. Falcons win.

Code Red: I think it was incredibly stupid, but I appreciated it since it brought a swift end to that OT game and brought the Bears game onto my TV. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmmm...Falcons.

Eagles (3-6) at Giants (6-3)
Code Red: More prime time EaglesFail! Giants win.

Iggins!: Yeah they suck something fierce. They're like the Knicks from the 00's. Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Giants. Most def.

Chiefs (4-5) at Patriots (6-3)
Code Red: God dammit. The Pats have a shitty defense, and yet again their soft schedule is going to lead to 12-13 wins and everyone will forget all about the shitty defense. Sigh. Pats win.

Iggins!: PALKO TIME. My wife is giddy with anticipation, she's been calling for Palko since the preseason. Humorously, I think this game will be close, but the Pats should win. Pats win.

Code Red: Because backup quarterbacks who look great in the preseason are always highly successful in real games. Just ask Todd Collins and Brian Griese!

Mrs. Code Red: I will not be shocked if the Patriots lose this. Patriots win, though.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 12

2011-11-17T13:59:00.001-06:00

Standings:
Iggins!: 128-67
Code Red: 123-72
Mrs. Code Red: 115-80

UNC (6-4) at VT (9-1)
Code Red: God dammit, VT. GT had you beat before that dumbass had to cost them and me a win by punching A GUY WEARING A HELMET. VT wins.

Iggins!: There seems to be an epidemic of that. I'm waiting for the first smart guy to remove his opponent's helmet and beat him with it. He might get suspended for the year, but at least we'd all agree that was an intelligent move. VaTech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Virginia Tech. It only makes sense. Plus we've already established that I discriminate against the Carolinas.

Wisconsin (8-2) at Illinois (6-5)
Iggins!: I was going to correct you, Illinois is 6-4, but really why bother? Wisconsin wins.

Code Red: Well, that was a Freudian slip. Rumors say Zook is gone unless he beats Wisconsin and Minnesota. I bet he wins neither. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Wisconsin. Zook is gone.

Nebraska (8-2) at Michigan (8-2)
Code Red: Ooh. Both of these teams, they are very similar. I'll take the home team. Michigan wins.

Iggins!: They're the same damn team. Michigan wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oh what the hell? Nebraska.

Penn State (8-2) at Ohio State (6-4)
Iggins!: I don't understand Ohio State, but I'm still anti-kid rape. OSU wins.

Code Red: Ohio State's defense is still excellent, and Penn State's offense is still crapulent. And we're all anti-kid rape. OSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah...I can't pick PSU. OSU wins.

Vanderbilt (5-5) at Tennessee (4-6)
Code Red: Yeah, it's one of those weeks where “Bad but Competitive” gets you on the docket. I guess Vanderbilt?

Iggins!: The fuck is this? Vanderbilt wins?

Mrs. Code Red: Sure, I'll take Jay Cutler's alma mater. Vanderbilt wins.

Miami (5-5) at South Florida (5-4)
Iggins!: I'll take the Canes because I believe every time I've picked USF this year they have lost. Miami wins.

Code Red: I'll take South Florida, because we haven't disagreed yet and I'm running outta time.

Mrs. Code Red: G-reg's Miami Hurricanes.

Virginia (7-3) at Florida State (7-3)
Code Red: Who knew that Virginia was bowl eligible? Florida State wins.

Iggins!: I'll take FSU at home, but VA isn't a bad team.

Mrs. Code Red: Too much agreement this week. FSU wins.

USC (8-2) at Oregon (9-1)
Iggins!: Yeah. Oregon.

Code Red: Definitely Oregon.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon.

Oklahoma (8-1) at Baylor (6-3)
Code Red: At least RGIII is already bowl eligible. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: This seems like a perfect game for Oklahoma to lose, but I just can't pick against them. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Not Baylor. Oklahoma wins.

Kansas State (8-2) at Texas (6-3)
Iggins!: Texas isn't good. K-State wins.

Code Red: No, they are not. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State. Go Wildcats.

What's the Problem with Lovie Smith?

2011-11-15T21:15:00.002-06:00

Now, when I ask that, I'm not asking what Lovie's problem is. I'm asking what it is that so many Bears fans seem to hate about the guy. He's now at 72-55, including playoffs, during his tenure as Bears head coach. He's made 3 playoff appearances, and (fingers crossed) appears to be headed towards number four. Those 3 playoff appearances are more than the Bears managed in the 11 damn years before they hired Lovie. He's done a tremendous job cleaning up the mess, and when his key guys are healthy, he wins. It's that simple.

So what's the problem? I get that Lovie makes some absolutely hare-brained decisions regarding fourth down attempts and challenges. How much of the job of an NFL coach boils down to those two things? Honestly? How many games do you remember the Bears actually Losing because of a poor decision in one of those two categories by Lovie Smith? Take, for example, the 4th and 1 they failed to convert against Detroit, that took 3 points off of the board. The Bears lost by 11. Didn't matter. I suppose you could complain about his failure to challenge Jay's fumble against the Redskins last year, but, much as I love Jay, that game boiled down more to his ridiculously stupid decisions than Lovie's failure to throw a red flag.

Sure, there was a rather dark time period where the Lovie Era seemed to be a disaster, and I too called for a clean house when they were 5-9 fourteen games into the 2009 season. That was two long years, and a 19-8 record in the last 27 games, ago. I've long since recanted. As I said during my bye week analysis of the team, I think Lovie's an excellent coach, who has the loyalty of his players. He's got a philosophy that he's loyal to, and, much as it can be frustrating when the pass rush is nonexistent, since the arrival of Julius Peppers it's worked as well as it did back in 2005 and 2006. He's made some tough calls this year, benching guys like Meriweather and Anthony Adams and cutting Chris Harris. All of them have worked out. Conte and Major Wright have stabilized the defense, and Adams responded the week after his benching with a career game against Detroit. At this point the Bears have faced the 6th most difficult schedule in all of football, and they're 6-3 (it's technically 9th, but Detroit, Tampa, and Minnesota's schedule are only more difficult because they've all faced Chicago, rather than vice versa). I think Lovie's doing a great job. It's that simple.

Another aspect of the Lovie Hate I find a bit difficult to explain is the fact that so many people lump him in with Jerry Angelo as though the two are joined at the hip. I have my beefs with Angelo. He's obviously a bit smarter than most gave him credit for, since guys like Lance Louis, Chris Williams before this unfortunate injury, Roberto Garza, and Chris Spencer have played far, far better than people expected, but that doesn't excuse the mess that his offensive lines have been for most of his tenure. Outside of Earl Bennett, the wide receiver corps is inconsistent at best and shitty at worst (I'm looking at you, Roy). Angelo is the guy responsible for Frank Omiyale's continued opportunities when Lovie's now benched him at various points in three consecutive seasons. Obviously they aren't both part of some kind of hive mind.

As a friend of mine pointed out today, even if you concede to the mob the fact that Angelo supposedly sucks at his job, talent acquisition, than that should, logically make Lovie look even better for crafting three (hopefully four) playoff teams and four (hopefully five) winning teams out of Angelo-built "shitty" rosters. So why blame Lovie?

I don't really have a conclusion here. I'm not stating definitely what the cause is for all this anger toward Lovie, since I honestly don't know. Why do those three disappointing seasons (and really that 2008 team was far better than it had any right to be) seem to count more than all of the good things he's done?

Oh well. Let the world know I'm still a fan of Lovie Smith. I hope most of you are, too.

Bears 37, Lions 13- Lights Out.

2011-11-13T17:53:00.006-06:00

That's about how I feel about the Bear's performance on defense and special teams. Pretty nice that the offense's struggles were more or less irrelevant, especially since they spent most of the game simply running out the clock. The other two phases? Hell, that was the best performance I've seen since 2006, at least. Fox can blame Matt Stafford's gloves all they want, he was harried and harassed all day and he melted down. He couldn't even be bothered to tackle the guys he was telegraphing his passes too. It was glorious. Good to know Detroit and Chicago are both who I had thought they were. Some idiots out there, clinging to their feeble notions that the Lions are real contenders, will try to act like turnovers and special teams points are flukey, but as Bears fans, we know better, and there's a reason the Bears have dominated in both categories since Lovie came to town. All that matters at the end is the scoreboard, and the Bears would have won this game easily had Cutler, Forte, and co. not even have shown up. In the end, the Bears absolutely embarrassed their "rivals," and I use that term lightly because, as usual, Detroit didn't even belong on the same field. It was clear who the better team was today, in every way possible.

The Good:

-Devin Hester: He didn't even have to play the second half since he was still recovering from his injury and suffering from strep throat, but he did his damage early with two long returns, one of 'em for a TD, the other to set up a FG, and the TD especially was classic Hester. He dropped the ball. He stood there. He looked like he had no idea what to do and he was going to get nailed. Then BOOM. Touchdown. God I love that guy.

-The Secondary: 4 interceptions, one each from Tillman, Wright, Graham, and Jennings, with Tillman and Wright both taking theirs to the house. Stafford (more on his bitch ass later) was forced into countless scatter-armed throws. Tillman owned Calvin Johnson, who was held out of the end zone for the first time all year, and fumbled. Jennings, Tillman's protege, also forced a Nate Burleson fumble. So, six turnovers from one secondary. Awesome.

-Julius Peppers: He spent most of the second half of the blowout on the bench resting his knee, but he absolutely terrified Stafford in the first half, with one sack, a pass deflection, numerous hurries, and one not-technically-a-sack-sack in which he chased Stafford out of bounds. He's the man.

-Anthony Adams: The big man responded to his benching with 2 sacks. That's good to see.

-Briggs and Urlacher: 17 tackles, a fumble recovery, a couple of pressures. Whatever. Nothing to see here.

-Earl Bennett: 6 receptions for 81 yards before they shut it down. Man it's good to have the BBE back.

The Bad:

-The Offense: I'm not going to dwell on it, since they managed 140 yds and 10 pts (nearly 13 had Gould not missed in the wind) in the first half, but they struggled in pass protection, couldn't run the ball against a defense that keyed on it, and Cutler missed some throws. Then again, they've played well the last four games and they'll be fine. Detroit does have a good front seven, even if the rest of the team got embarrassed today.

-Roy Williams: Ran the wrong route on one third down, dropped another pass. Not fond of him.

The Ugly:

-Chris Williams: the kid had finally started to justify his draft spot by playing well at guard and now, by most accounts, he's down for the season with a wrist injury. Hopefully Eddie Williams is capable of stepping up. What a bummer. Otherwise I could see Webb, Spencer, Garza, Louis, Carimi left to right when Gabe gets back.

-Matthew Stafford: What a bitch. I have no other way of saying it. The little shitstain melts down the second he gets pressured, throws four interceptions, gets sacked three times, and then tries to man up by cheap-shotting DJ Moore and dragging him down by his facemask. What a pathetic excuse for a man. I hope he wrecks his fiberglass shoulder again.

-The rest of that pathetic fucking bunch: Suh's a dirty mother fucker and ripped off Jay's helmet after the whistle, then pushed him down later long after the play was dead. Fairley drove Cutler into the ground well after the ball had left his hands. Stafford's a whiny little bitch. Schwartz is a horse's ass, and I hope Lovie patted the shit out of his back after that. You're losers, Detroit, no matter what improvements you've made this year.

That's it for now. The Bears now hit the soft spot of the schedule, with the entire AFC West (including the Seahawks for old times sake) coming up. Keep rolling. Bear Down. I'm off to eat some of the Mrs' homemade fried rice. Life is good, folks. Unless your a little bitch like Matthew Stafford.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 10

2011-11-10T19:33:00.002-06:00

Raiders (4-4) at Chargers (4-4)
Code Red: Both of these teams are a goddamn mess. The Chargers have to win this, right? I don't want them coming into Chicago on a terrible three game losing streak. Chargers win.

Iggins!: Like that would matter? You really think the Chargers are good there, don't you? I may not think they're good, but Palmer has looked so bad I can't do anything but pick the Bolts to win at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers. Please God, Philip Rivers. Get your shit together. It has to happen eventually, right? Right?

Bills (5-3) at Cowboys (4-4)
Iggins!: Yeah, I'm not gonna pick the Cowboys. They don't exactly have the Jet's defense. Bills win.

Code Red: I fear the Bills may be fading, but Dallas sucks. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Bills. I'll never trust Tony Romo, especially not when Miles Austin is hurt again.

Saints (6-3) at Falcons (5-3)
Code Red: The Saints should set themselves firmly at the top of their division after this one. Saints win.

Iggins!: I have to pick Breesus here. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints. Do I need to justify picking Breesus?

Texans (6-3) at Buccaneers (4-4)
Iggins!: ARRRRRRRRRIAN FOSSSSSSSSSSSSTER. Texans win.

Code Red: Troll hard, sir. Troll hard. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, I guess the Texans are alright. Good balance. I like Ben Tate. Promising young RB they have there. Texans win.

Rams (1-7) at Browns (3-5)
Code Red: Oh, this is awful. St. Louis managed to lose to the Cardinals last week, but I still think they'll find a way to overcome a Browns team that's just terrible and has no offense at all. Rams win.

Iggins!: Ima recap for you. The Rams scored 13 points against Arizona last week. Four of those points were safeties. I'll take the Browns at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...I'm gonna go with the Rams. If Sam Bradford's going to get it together, ever, it'll be here.

Steelers (6-3) at Bengals (6-2)
Iggins!: It looks like the Bengals have three games left they will most likely win, then two each against the Steelers and Ravens and one against Houston. If they can just pull the upset in one they might make the playoffs... oh why the hell not. CINCINNATI WINS.

Code Red: You're a mad man. Pittsburgh wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm also going to roll with Andy Dalton, the Ginger Rifle. Bengals.

Code Red: The whole damn world is mad.

Redskins (3-5) at Dolphins (1-7)
Code Red: Oh God, this is another awful one. Also, if you haven't seen the interview where Mickey Rourke describes Rex Grossman as a “trainwreck with balls,” you absolutely must. http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Rex-Grossman-is-Mickey-Rourke-8217-s-favorite-q?urn=nfl-wp10983. Shanny should definitely put Rex back in, because he's far more entertaining than Beck. I expect the Skins defense (which is pretty good, actually) to win this one in an ugly, unwatchable contest. Redskins win.

Iggins!: This could be one of the worst games you will ever see (Though I doubt much of the country will see it). I'll take Miami at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Sexy Rexy should come back. I bet it'll happen here, with heroic results. Redskins win.

Titans (4-4) at Panthers (2-6)
Iggins!: Killa Cam has had very little to do with the Panther losses. If Carolina can add one more good receiver, kill Deangelo Williams, and upgrade the defense just a little bit they're a 10-11 win team next year. I'll take Carolina to win here.

Code Red: Isn't it odd? The Panthers are 2-6, and yet every week I'm inclined to pick them. I'll do it again here. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Umm...it's so hard to pick against Cam Newton. I won't. Panthers win.

Cardinals (2-6) at Eagles (3-5)
Code Red: Per usual, the Bears get a great win and the dominant theme is still “what's wrong with [insert Bears opponent]. I've heard several people talk about how the Eagles “didn't show up.” Oh well. The Eagles will break through here.

Iggins!: That's odd. All I saw on ESPN is that the Bears are really good, and Mike Florio was on the radio saying the same thing. You sound like an Iowa State fan there, Red. It does not count as breaking through to beat AZ, it counts as taking candy from a baby. Eagles win.

Code Red: Sadly, it was mostly on Chicago's own local sports radio. Philly did show up, Hub Arkush. They showed up and got their asses soundly kicked.

Mrs. Code Red: Eagles, I guess.

Broncos (3-5) at Chiefs (4-4)
Iggins!: That was an awful, awful thing that happened last week. I'll take the Chiefs to win for one more week, but if they lose here I'll have to forsake them.

Code Red: I'll take the Chiefs here because the cause of stopping Tim Tebow-mania is a cause dear to the hearts of all red-blooded Americans. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chiefs. Tebow still sucks, no matter how bad Oakland's defense is.

Jaguars (2-6) at Colts (0-9)
Code Red: So many awful matchups this week. The only unit out of the four involved in this game that is any good is the Jaguar defense, so I'm taking Jacksonville.

Iggins!: This is the Colts' best chance for a win, but I'm pretty sure they want the #1 pick more than a win. Jaguars win.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Jags.

Ravens (6-2) at Seahawks (2-6)
Iggins!: Yeah. Ravens.

Code Red: Who the hell is responsible for firing Pete Carroll? Why hasn't said person done so? He clearly has no vision. They have a decent defense built mostly out of retreads that can't be built around for the future, they have no offensive line (apparently Chris Spencer wasn't part of the problem, eh?), and their coach personally identified Tarvaris Jackson as his guy and actively pursued him in free agency. THIS MAN DOES NOT NOW HOW TO MANAGE A FRANCHISE. Anywho, Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm gonna go out on a limb and take the Ravens.

Giants (6-2) at 49ers (7-1)
Code Red: This should be interesting. Eli's been playing well this year, but the Giants tend to struggle when they can't run the ball at all, which tends to be the case against this awesome 49er front seven. I'm going to say the Giants still find a way to win this one.

Iggins!: I have to agree. The 49ers aren't as good as their record suggests. Giants win.

Code Red: They'll still be the two seed, because no one in that division can even dream of moving the ball against that defense of theirs. They're very 2005 Bears-like, but the NFC isn't as weak now as it was then.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, Eli is playing surprisingly well. Giants win.

Lions (6-2) at Bears (5-3)
Code Red: Last time, the Bears controlled the clock, outgained the Lions for most of the first three quarters, and then repeatedly shot themselves in the foot with penalties, bad decisions, and big plays. Since then they've been a 100% completely different team. I think it'll be enough. Bears win, 27-13.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears. That is all.

Iggins!: Bears. That is all.

Patriots (5-3) at Jets (5-3)
Iggins!: People have figured out the Patriots, and Rex Ryan has Brady's number. I'll take the Jets.

Code Red: I want to go with the continued decline of New England. There certainly are more dark days ahead. But I just can't imagine New England losing three in a row yet. Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dammit. I can't do it. I can't go against them. Patriots win.

Vikings (2-6) at Packers (8-0)
Code Red: The Packer aren't much different than the Pats, in that their defense has been bad enough this year that they'll probably lose the first time Aaron Rodgers has a less than outstanding game. I don't know when someone will make that happen, though. It won't be Minnesota, at least. Packers win.

Iggins!: The Patriots are getting beaten because defenses figured out that, without Randy Moss, they have no vertical passing game, so every throw is made in the same 25 yard area. The Packers aren't being figured out because Aaron Rodgers isn't good because of a scheme, he's just good. Saying they'll lose if he has a bad game is like saying the Cubs will win the World Series if they stay healthy. What are the odds? Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers. Sigh.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 11

2011-11-10T19:30:00.001-06:00

Iggins!: 115-54
Code Red: 109-60
Mrs. Code Red: 101-68

Virginia Tech (8-1) at Georgia Tech (7-2)
Code Red: It's getting late in the season. It's gambling time. Paul Johnson's gonna find a way to ruin VT's typical run to ACC dominance the most boring BCS bowl game. GT wins.

Iggins!: Just because GT beat Clemson doesn't mean they're good! Clemson does that all the time. I'll take VaTech to win.

Mrs. Code Red: Virginia Tech, because they have a better record. Science.

Nebraska (7-2) at Penn State (8-1)
Iggins!: So my greater theory for football this season is that games have almost universally been decided by matchups, not talent. So, under normal circumstances, I would take PSU because their defense is pretty much built to stop Nebraska. HOWEVER, when your head coach and entire administration have been outed as cowardly accesories to child rape, I pretty much can't pick you. Nebraska wins.

Code Red: Yeah, I can't pick Penn State here. May they rot. How fitting is it that Joe Paterno's last game, naturally, was a victory over Ron Zook's idiotic prevent defense. Nebraska wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...are they going to come out inspired, or will this overwhelm them? Plus, I don't want to be the person that chooses them. Nebraska wins.

Michigan State (7-2) at Iowa (6-3)
Code Red: Not MSU on the road. Made that mistake twice. Iowa wins.

Iggins!: There are so many reasons Iowa will win this game. They're unbeaten at home, MSU sucks on the road, MSU almost always loses at Kinnick, MSU runs a pro-style offense which almost always gets beaten by Ferentz. Just pick Iowa. Hawkeyes win.

Mrs. Code Red: Dammit, I was hoping my Iowa pick would be an upset. Iowa wins.

West Virginia (6-3) at Cincinnati (7-1)
Iggins!: WVU is extremely mediocre, so I'll take a slightly less mediocre Cincinnati team to win.

Code Red: The Big East is so mediocre, that I'll take West Virginia to fuck things up. They are still mediocre, though.
Mrs. Code Red: I guess I, too, will give West Virginia a shot. WVU wins.

Miami (5-4) at Florida State (6-3)
Code Red: I don't think Miami's defense can slow down EJ Manuel and the FSU offense. FSU wins.

Iggins!: I do not care, the ACC is a damned basketball conference anyway, so I'm betting they don't care right now either! FSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: G-Reg's Miami Hurricanes. Why not?

Texas A&M (5-4) at Kansas State (7-2)
Iggins!: K-State will overcome a three TD deficit to win or something. K-State wins.

Code Red: Indeed, Mike Sherman has transported his ability to blow big games despite a talented team has translated quite nicely from Green Bay to Texas A&M. K-State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State. Doesn't Texas A&M lose every game they ever play against anyone good?

Michigan (7-2) at Illinois (6-3)
Code Red: Teams like Michigan don't give Illinois that much trouble. They don't have the stellar defense that OSU and Penn State have. I think they can win the shootout. Illinois wins. (all of this bluster is bullshit, and I fully expect Zook to nosedive this thing to 6-6).

Iggins!: Let's review. The Illini beat five very bad teams and one team (AZ State) that always loses when they're away from the coast to start the year. They have lost their last three games playing mediocre to good teams, and they have looked godawful doing it. Michigan will win. By a lot.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah...Michigan.

Auburn (6-3) at Georgia (7-2)
Iggins!: The Dawgs are a damn fine team, and Auburn is unfortunately just a rung below that. Georgia wins.

Code Red: Georgia is good. Georgia is at home. Georgia is winner.

Mrs. Code Red: Fuck it, Auburn. Gamblin' time.

Washington (6-3) at USC (7-2)
Code Red: Good for you, Washington. Staying relevant somehow. USC's offense at home, though? USC wins.

Iggins!: I'll take USC, I guess.

Mrs. Code Red: USC. They have Matt Barkley, and he is good.

Oregon (8-1) at Stanford (9-0)
Iggins!: The funny thing is we can't tell how good Stanford is because nobody in the Pac-10 has a good out-of-conference win. NONE OF THEM. Oregon put up a fight against LSU, but that game was a bigger beatdown than 40-27 suggests. I'll take Stanford at home, but let it be known that I don't trust how good either of these teams are.

Code Red: I, too, shall take Andrew Luck. Stanford had a big lead in this game before the spread methodically wore them down on the road. I think they're much better prepared for this one. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oregon. What the hell? Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Code Red: I like this go for broke strategy. I am too chicken to employ it, but I admire your gumption.

Bears 30, Eagles 24- Dangerous

2011-11-07T23:28:00.003-06:00

Dangerous. That's what the Bears are if they play the kind of football on both sides of the ball that they played tonight for the rest of the season. The final score is misleading, even, as two incredibly rare fumbles by Matt Forte spotted the Eagles 14 points they'd have had a hard time coming by otherwise. The offensive line finally gave Cutler his first game without a sack since the first half of 2009. Matt Forte, despite his uncharacteristic turnovers, dominated once again with 133 yards rushing. Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, and Julius Peppers did what you expect them to do by containing Michael Vick, who has failed to win a single start against this team despite four tries. This is just an awesome win, perhaps the best played game we've seen from this team...in the Cutler era, at least. Next week's another big one with Detroit at home, a rematch I'm Really looking forward to. For now, though, let's enjoy this one. Bear down.

The Good:

-Jay Cutler: I love stats, but they can be misleading. Anyone looking at Jay Cutler's 208 yds in this game might think he was merely "good," but they'd be wrong. Against an amazing secondary (and with his own batch of mediocre receivers looking less than stellar outside of the BBE), Jay played like an elite quarterback, and when everything was put on his shoulders in the fourth quarter he simply went out and won the ball game. Also, if you didn't absolutely love his improvising on the near-sack toss to Barber and the option pitch to Hester, you, sir, have no soul.

-Matt Forte: I love the guy. My inner meathead screamed after fumble number two, but the man never fumbles. It was a fluke. He did exactly what you want someone to do in that situation, meaning he went out and played like the MVP he's been. 133 rushing on 24 carries, with another 17 yards receiving, giving him 150 total yards from scrimmage. You know what's awesome? That was BELOW his season average. He's a beast. This offense is starting to come together like we haven't seen...maybe ever.

-Earl Bennett: Man, was it ever obvious how much Jay missed the BBE? The disparity between what Earl can do and what the rest of Jay's receivers can do was never more obvious than it was tonight. You have to give Asomugah and Asante Samuel credit, but Hester, Williams, and Sanzenbacher all dropped what would have been huge catches, and while Earl racked up 5 catches for 95 yds and a TD, the other four guys combined for 5 catches for 72 yards. Earl's back, bitches, and may hell take the corners attempting to stop him on third down.

-The offensive line: There are no words. Against an absolutely stacked defensive line and a team famous for blitzing, they allowed no sacks for the first time in two years. They paved the way for 164 yards rushing at 5 yards a clip. I have no idea how they can work Gabe Carimi back into the lineup with the way Lance Louis, J'Marcus Webb, and Chris Spencer are playing right now. Isn't that awesome? Three weeks ago this team was absolutely harassed in Detroit thanks to the injury to Spencer and the mere presence of Frank Omiyale, and now they can't get a guy who may technically be their most promising offensive linemen into the lineup because the rest of em are playing so well. Amazing.

-Julius Peppers: Like all of you, I let the incredibly lame Darth-Vader-at-the-end-of-Revenge-of-the-Sith* NOOOOOO escape my lungs when Julius went down. Being the man that he is, he came back in and sacked Michael Vick to end an Eagles drive on his first play back. Several times he got in Vick's way and forced throws on what normally are 20-25 yard runs for him. He also had another of his trademark jumping pass deflections. I love him. I don't care who knows it.

-Israel Idonije: Sadly two tackles are the only things that will show up on the stat sheet for Izzy, but man, he was an animal tonight. He seemingly found his way into the Eagles backfield on every play, and he forced a number of poor throws and bad decisions out of Vick. Good on ya, ya big lug.

-Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs: Honestly, I wish these two played Michael Vick every week, because he seems to get an extra level out of two guys who already have a combined 13 Pro Bowls. They combined tonight for 16 tackles and 3 pass deflections, and they once more chased Vick from sideline to sideline, limiting him to just 34 yards rushing. Stay healthy, guys. I'll always go back to Paul Allen, the Vikings' radio guy, and what he said last year: "When these two are healthy, the Chicago Bears win a lot of ball games. It's as simple as that."

-Tim Jennings and Charles Tillman: The oft and unfairly-maligned duo really got it done tonight. The Bears scoffed at the notion that they can't play man and decided to beat the shit out of Philly's receivers, daring them to break a big one. They couldn't do it because Tillman and Jennings absolutely balled tonight. When you limit the Philadelphia Eagles to 5.6 ypa and hold Maclin and Jackson to 79 yards Total, damn. That's good football.

-Lovie Smith: I've liked everything I've heard from Lovie before and after this game. He called out underperforming guys like Melton and he deactivated Anthony Adams in favor of Paea and Toeiana (it worked, considering they shutdown the run game for Philly outside of one 33 yard McCoy run). He also made the bold move of cutting Chris Harris. He took a shot at the guys in Vegas after the game when he said "the Chicago Bears should never be 8 point underdogs." I still like Lovie, no matter how often I'm told by some illogical people that I shouldn't. He had his guys prepared tonight, and it showed.

The Bad:

-Roy Williams: He dropped two passes that he had absolutely no excuse for dropping, one of which would probably have been a TD. His 3 catches all went for first downs, which is nice, but he's still frustrating as hell.

-Nothing else. This game was perfect. Absolutely perfect. It's one of those nights that leaves you absolutely dying to see them take the field next Sunday. Go Bears.

*-This reference to the Star Wars prequels was put into this recap in order to appease CT, who I'm sure was yet again disappointed that I was a no-show for the SKOscast.

NFL Prognostication Bukkake Week 9

2011-11-05T11:45:00.000-05:00

Jets (4-3) @ Bills (5-2)

Iggins!: Didn't expect the Bills to have the better record heading into this game at the beginning of the year. Now that everybody realizes that San Diego win wasn't all that great, hopefully everyone realizes Buffalo is going to win this game. Bills win.

Code Red: Need the Bills to keep going now that New England put them back in first by losing to Pittsburgh. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills, because what heartless person picks against Buffalo this year?

Seahawks (2-5) @ Cowboys (3-4)

Code Red: The Cowboys are not good. That said, Seattle should be pissed that the flukey win over the Giants propably put them out of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. I'm sure the new coach that's responsible for cleaning up Pete Carroll's mess will wish he had a franchise QB. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: How sad is it that Dallas sucks badly enough that this is even somewhat of a question? Cowboys, I guess, but with reservations *cough* Tony Romo *cough*

Iggins!: Yeah, you have to take Dallas here, but it’s hard to get a read on them. Cowboys win.

Falcons (4-3) @ Colts (0-8)

Iggins!: Bet this looked better at the beginning of the season. Falcons win.

Code Red: That can be said about every Colts game this year. Falcons win.

Mrs Code Red: Gonna go out on a limb and pick the Falcons.

Dolphins (0-7) @ Chiefs (4-3)

Code Red: Everything is bouncing KC's way. They're much closer to the team that started 0-3 than the one that's going to own its fifth straight win thanks to soft scheduling and the epic fucktardery of Philip Rivers. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas City's looking much better and the Dolphins suck. Then again, Kansas City's mostly looking better because they've been getting teams like the Dolphins the last five weeks. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: Wah wah from both of you. The Chiefs have looked better because of a very stout defense and a much improved offense. It’s not like Run-DMC’s legs fell off against the Raiders, and the Bolts are still the Bolts. Chiefs win.

Buccaneers (4-3) @ Saints (5-3)

Iggins!: What people forget is the Saints actually blow an easy game like that every year. It's like they just want two bye weeks or something. Saints win.

Code Red: I can't imagine the Bucs defense containing Breesus twice in three weeks. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well they did just lose to them, but I, too, can't imagine the Saints losing this one at home. At least I hope not. Saints win.

49ers (6-1) @ Redskins (3-4)

Code Red: I'm not even sure why I hate the Redskins so much, since they've been inept for pretty much the entire time period that I've been watching NFL football, but their yearly regression to suck is amusing nonetheless. 49ers Win. That defense is scary.

Mrs. Code Red: 49ers. I can't believe that this game Isn't even a question.

Iggins!: Still upset that Singletary is a terrible HC. 49ers win.

Browns (3-4) @ Texans (5-3)

Iggins!: ARIAN FOSTER. Texans win.

Code Red: You should not anger Mrs. Code Red like this. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: (sobs hysterically), Stupid Texans win. But not because of Arian Foster. Definitely not.

Bengals (5-2) @ Titans (4-3)

Code Red: I'll be damned. Bengals win.

Mrs. Code Red: What's life without risk-taking? I'll go with the underdogs on their homefield. Titans win.

Iggins!: Hm. Neither of these teams should be 5-3 if the Bears won’t be (hopefully they will). I’ll take Cincinnati because Tennessee is turning into what we thought they would be.

Broncos (2-5) @ Raiders (4-3)

Iggins!: Oh Tim, if only you'd have been drafted where you should have been! Then none of this would have happened. Raiders win.

Code Red: Right, some team would have had years to work him in practice and move him to tight end. Raiders win.

Mrs. Code Red: TIM TEBOW'S GONNA DO IT. And by “it,” I mean continue to overthrow his receivers by a country mile. Raiders win.

Giants (5-2) @ Patriots (5-2)

Code Red: I don't see the Pats losing back-to-back games, not at home. Pats win.

Mrs. Code Red: My inner New England is showing. Pats win. I can't help it. As much as I act like I hate them, Tom Brady's still dreamy. And don't even get me started on fackin' Welkah (leaves apartment, drives to Dunkin' Donuts and bitches about Manny Ramirez).

Iggins!: The Giants aren’t that great. Patriots win.

Rams (1-6) @ Cardinals (1-6)

Iggins!: I'm pretty sure that was just the Saints crapping the bed, but even if it was it still makes the Rams better than AZ. Rams win.

Code Red: I can't take the Cardinals without Kevin Kolb. Hell, I don't think I'd take them with him. Rams win.

Mrs. Code Red: (She actually curled her face in disgust upon seeing this matchup. Me too, dear. Me too). I guess Rams, since that seems to be the way the wind is blowing.

Packers (7-0) @ Chargers (4-3)

Code Red: This may be spite, this may be the fact that someday Green Bay's shoddy secondary play will catch up to them, but I'm going to take a gamble here. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code: You seriously think they're going to win with Sucky McSuckerson throwing the ball to every one he can find who isn't wearing a Chargers jersey? Packers dominate. Fuckin' Philip Rivers. That fucking guy...Worst. Backup Team. Ever.

Iggins!: Wow taking the Chargers? That was stupid. You lambast the Chiefs as terrible for beating them but you choose the best team in the NFL to lose to them? Packers win by a whole freaking lot.

Ravens (5-2) @Steelers (6-2)

Iggins!: The Ravens are a confusing pile of mess, so I'll go with Pittsburgh evening the season series. Steelers win.

Code Red: Fucking Ravens. Give Ray Rice the ball and all will be well. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: Hmm...I don't trust Baltimore. I guess I'll go with the Steelers.

Bears (4-3) @ Eagles (3-4)

Code Red: A couple of wins against Rex Grossman and an incredibly overrated Cowboys team and the Eagles are suddenly unbeatable, according to the media. That's fine. If the Eagles have “gotten on track” the last two weeks, so have the Bears. Matt Forte has a huge game, Earl Bennett and Johnny Knox find a way to exploit the non-Asantemougah players in the Eagles secondary, and a healthy and rested defensive line exploits Philly's shoddy protection. Bears win 28-17.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears!

Iggins!: The Bears don’t even need to pass in this game. Seriously, Forte will win this on his own. Bears win.

NCAA Prognostication Bukkake Week 10

2011-11-05T11:23:00.003-05:00

Standings:

Iggins!: 99-46

Code Red: 93-52

Ms. Code Red: 86-59

Holy shit this week is sparse. On the bright side I, being Iggins!, soundly defeated Code Red last week and opened up a six game lead. THIS WILL CONTINUE.

(15) Michigan (7-1, 3-1) @ Iowa (5-3, 2-2)

Iggins!: Imagine my surprise that this is one of the top ten games of the weekend. I really didn't want to pick this game, because I hate picking Iowa, but everything aside from the talent says Iowa should win. Ferentz vs. a pro-style offense is always a good matchup, Iowa has stopped Denard before, Iowa plays like a different team at home, Michigan sucks on the road...etc. But... Iowa just lost to Minnesota. I'll take the Hawkeyes to win, but despite my above statements I'm pretty sure they're gonna get their ass kicked.

Code Red: I'd like to consider this a free win, but I trust Denard Robinson no more than I can throw him. Michigan wins, but they'd love to lose and fuck me over.

Mrs. Code Red: Michigan.

Texas Tech (5-3, 2-3) @ (21) Texas (5-2, 2-2)

Code Red: Seems like the win over Oklahoma was flukey. Texas sucks, but their defense is enough to fluster Tommy Tuberville's boys. Texas wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas, I guess. Even though they suck too.

Iggins!: I’ll take Texas, because clearly Oklahoma simply shit the bed a few weeks ago. Losing 41-7 to Iowa State is pretty undeniable proof of that.

Texas A&M (5-3, 3-2) @ (6) Oklahoma (7-1, 4-1)

Iggins!: I'm going to bank on Oklahoma not crapping the bed like they did against Tech. Oklahoma wins.

Code Red: I'm going to bank on Texas A&M's piss poor defense. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah... Oklahom's loss seems flukey. Oklahoma wins.

(25)Southern Miss (7-1, 3-1) @ East Carolina (4-4, 3-1)

Code Red: Well, alright then. East Carolina at home. Domonique Davis is a fine QB.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't think I had heard of either of these schools before now. Southern Miss, since they're record is better? And THERE IS NO EAST CAROLINA! WHICH CAROLINA ARE YOU ACTUALLY IN? You had two choices of Carolinas and neither was good enough, eh?

Iggins!: That’s a good point. Which Carolina are they East in? Either way, I take ECU to win this game.

Cincinnati (6-1, 2-0) @ Pittsburgh (4-4, 2-1)

Iggins!: This is for first place in the Big East. Why does this league get a BCS bid? Neither team has a single quality win, but Pitt lost to Utah by two scores, so I'll take Cincinnati to win.

Code Red: Oh, that's awful. Cincinnati wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess Cincinnati, to be safe.

(9)South Carolina (7-1, 5-1) @ (7)Arkansas (7-1, 3-1)

Code Red: I do nay trust ye, Spurrier. Arkansas wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Arkansas, for some reason I don't like football teams from the Carolinas. Well, except I like Cam Newton?

Iggins!: Who doesn’t like Cam Newton? I’m voting for him at the caucuses. Arkansas wins.

(14)Kansas State (7-1, 4-1) @ (3)Oklahoma State (8-0, 5-0)

Iggins!: Poor K-State. They're actually much better than they will be ranked after this beatdown. Okie State wins.

Code Red: Oklahoma State is awesome. I want to see that offense against LSU/Bama in the title game. OSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma State, even if Black and Orange teams piss me off.

Notre Dame (5-3) @ Wake Forest (5-3, 4-2)

Code Red: Not after you screwed me last week, Wake. ND wins.

Mrs. Code Red: You had your shot, Wake Forest. You fucked it up. ND wins.

Iggins!: I’m still in shock that both of you thought Wake Forest was any good. Oh well. My gain. Notre Dame wins.

Missouri (4-4, 2-3) @ Baylor (4-3, 1-3)

Iggins!: I don't have a lot of faith in Missouri, and I think RG3 is next year's (if he goes to the NFL) Cam Newton. So Baylor wins.

Code Red: I like RG3, but the Cam Newton comparison stands on shaky ground. He's not the superhuman freak of nature that Cam is, he's certainly more a Vince Young-type long-term prospect. But he's totally gonna rip Mizzou a new one. Baylor wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Out of principle, I never take Baylor. Mizzou wins.

Iggins!: Vince Young had terrible throwing form and bad accuracy. RG3 has good form and an uncanny ability to throw spot-on 50 yard passes. Not the same.

(1)LSU (8-0, 5-0) @ (2)Alabama (8-0, 5-0)

Code Red: The Game of the Century. This game will be close. It's going to come down to the magic of the Hat. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama. They're at home and I generally choose to Roll with the Crimson Tide.

Iggins!: You are correct that it will come down to Ther Hat. But that will not be a good thing. Alabama wins.

Pay Matt Forte?

2011-11-02T21:42:00.004-05:00

Suffice it to say, no player on the Bears has garnered as much attention this year as Matt Forte. Most of this has to do with the fact that he is currently the single best runningback in football. I'm reminded of the controversy that ensued this summer when one of the ESPN bloggers compared Forte to Peterson and a million Vikings fans got pissed. Forte now has 1091 yards from scrimmage in seven games this year (155.8 YPG), while Peterson has 923 in eight games (115.4).

Unfortunately, almost all of the discussion about Forte's great performance on the field includes the scuttlebutt over his contract dispute. I've made no secret of my desire to see the Bears lock up Forte, but I find myself disagreeing lately with much of the sentiment that I'm hearing from the fanbase (imagine that).

There are basically two camps at this point on Forte: the "pay the man" camp that appears to believe that Forte deserves a mega-contract most likely stemming from their fear that he'll somehow leave the Bears otherwise, and the people who view Forte for what he is in the cold, harsh reality of the business of football: a man who plays the most injury-prone and often dispensable position on the field, who should simply be franchise-tagged until his production declines as it inevitably will.

I like Matt Forte. I was frequently angry in 2009 when some people refused to see that he was dealing with an injury and a terrible offensive line and called him a "one-year wonder" and a bust. He's an incredibly talented player who opens up the entire offense. After years of watching guys like Rashaan Salaam, Curtis Enis, James Allen, Anthony Thomas, and Cedric Benson, it's hard not to appreciate what Forte brings to the table. The only comparable runningback the Bears have had in the last decade and a half was Thomas Jones, and Forte's a much better player even than him. For that reason, I sympathize with the guy and I'd like to see his future as a Bear secured.

That said, I'm a fan of the Chicago Bears. However awesome Matt Forte is right now, you, me, and everyone else will hate him the second this franchise gives him a huge contract and he goes belly-up Chris Johnson style. Not that will necessarily happen, but the awesome thing about the fact that fans have no accountability is the fact that the ones who are yelling at Jerry Angelo to get this deal done right now are the ones who will add a bloated contract for an ineffective player to his list of wrongs if Forte's production declines. I don't want to think a sudden drop off for Forte could happen, but guys like Shaun Alexander, Rudi Johnson, and Larry Johnson all went from dynamic players to busts in a single season. Angelo is right to be cautious here. The best thing for the Chicago Bears is to keep Forte in the fold as cheaply as possible for as long as he's an effective player. If that means the whole "Pay Matt Forte" crowd has to be happy with the franchise tag, so be it. It's better than dealing with a repeat of the Nathan Vasher and Tommie Harris contracts.

The one thing I've come to terms with on this whole deal is that my momentary fear that the Bears actually didn't appreciate Forte or that there's any possibility he'll walk after this season is gone. He's not going anywhere, franchise tag or no, and the team owns all the leverage. So relax. Enjoy Matt Forte. He's going to get paid, and, cruel as the world may be, it doesn't matter to all of us at home whether he's got guaranteed money or not.

Editor's Note: SK Jensen basically just said the same damn thing.

The Bears at the Bye, Part III- The Coaches

2011-10-31T10:37:00.002-05:00

We reach the final part of my (naturally) wordy and exhaustive breakdown of the state of the Chicago Bears during their bye week. I conclude now with the coaching staff:

Dave Toub, Special Teams Coordinator:
Is there anything negative to say about Dave? I keep thinking a John Harbaugh-esque leap from ST coordinator to head coach is possible for him. You have to give Hester a lot of credit as the greatest returner of all time, but it's still a testament to Dave's excellence that the return unit has been dangerous over the years whether Hester, Knox, Rashied Davis, Earl Bennett, or Danieal Manning has been the returner. The Knox TD in the Packer game that was nullified by the weakest holding call I've ever seen in my life was, to paraphrase Aaron Rodgers, one of the most amazing plays I've ever seen. It's too bad he'll have to keep that one in his back pocket for awhile. Not much else to say, here, other than I'm glad Dave is still a Bear.

Rod Marinelli, Defensive Coordinator:
I really don't know how important Rod Marinelli is. His specialty, the defensive line, has been awesome in four games and non-existent in three. You can probably figure out which ones I mean. As for his playcalling as a coordinator? Does it matter? You know what the Bears are going to do on defense. It's a common retort when fans rail against coaches that the most important thing is the execution by the players on the field. Sometimes that too easy of an answer, but in the case of Lovie and Rod and the defense they run it's especially accurate.

If you look at the difference between this year's defense and last year's, the big plays they've surrendered, none of the problems have come from poor playcalling. Major Wright just wasn't where he was supposed to be in New Orleans. Brandon Meriweather's never been where he was supposed to be, and Chris Harris' obviously got a reprimand for his poor discipline. The last two games have been especially promising in that the shoddy run defense has improved. That's step one. If that trend continues, we'll look back at Rod as a good defensive coordinator at the end of the year. If not? None of us will be that upset to say goodbye to him, since, again, no one really knows how important he is anyway.

Mike Martz, Offensive Coordinator:
Give Mike Martz his due: he knows how to get the most out of me, whether positive or negative. My vacillation between the depths of despair and guarded optimism regarding his hiring two years ago resulted in some of the most hilarious number-crunching in the history of this site, as I somehow managed to prove that Mike Martz was the single worst possible thing for Jay Cutler while also possibly the key to Jay's improvement. I give him credit for improving Jay Cutler's footwork and his mechanics. Jay's unfortunately had to rush some throws this year thanks to the shoddy protection, but I feel at this point that his worst days are behind him. If the team around him melts down we'll probably still see plenty of errant throws like we saw against New Orleans and Green Bay, but I think the days of streaking passes to guys like DeAngelo Hall are long gone. True to his reputation, he's probably made Jay Cutler a better player.

However, there's another side of the coin. It's a good thing that Mike has helped Jay improve his mechanics and pocket presence, because he's needed it while dodging the free blitzers that Martz's scheme doesn't even dream of accounting for. His decision to ignore Matt Forte in back to back games against New Orleans and Green Bay put the team in a hole that they're still trying to crawl out of. I think at this point Forte's done well enough that even Mike can't deny that the offense needs to go through him. What we've seen the last two games are gameplans indicating a changed individual. We've seen 25+ rushing attempts, 6, 7, and even 8 man protections, play action passes, bootlegs, and back shoulder throws. It's been nice, and it's allowed the two most important players, Forte and Cutler, to do what they do best.

The question, however, is what this means for Mike Martz's future. If even Mike Martz himself has given up on running "The Mike Martz Offense" with capital Ms, is he worth keeping around to run "the mike martz offense"? Can't someone who specializes in this West Coast-style offense be brought in who actually Wants to run it, not a guy who has been browbeaten into what I'm sure he considers a bastardization of his offense? I don't mean to make too much of the overblown Cutler footage. I honestly think Jay just wanted to take a shot at the end zone and was disappointed that the ball was taken out of his hands, but I think it's obvious that something there isn't clicking. It doesn't mean Cutler lacks leadership, as Pompei or Telander or one of the other braindead columnists opined after the incident, and it doesn't mean that he even necessarily dislikes Mike Martz or doesn't buy in. It just seems to be a case where you don't have the guy who can maximize the talent of a valuable asset. Why not move on?

Lovie Smith, Head Coach
Lovie's a tragically misunderstood figure. He's often depicted as a boring, listless dunce who coddles his players. So far this year he's been anything but boring. He hasn't hesitated to shake up the lineup on offense and defense when things aren't working well. Remember that he gave Chris Harris his walking papers the next time someone tries to tell you that Lovie never cuts one of "his guys." He's also made the usual number of batshit crazy 4th down calls and poor challenges. Make of that what you will, but the job of a head coach really doesn't boil down to what they actually do on the sidelines. Yeah, his 4th down decisions and the challenges are terrible, but he's actually not that far from league average on any of them and they very rarely end up having that much of an effect on the outcome of the game. I don't judge Lovie on those.

When I judge Lovie, I look at his record, and I look at what he gets from the players he has. I think he's a much better coach than he's given credit for. I personally haven't forgotten what a mess this franchise was before he got here and how quickly he turned it around. His players play hard for him, and I think he's generally coaxed more out of his teams than he should be able to. That 2005 Bears team had a quarterback in Kyle Orton who posted one of (there is no hyperbole in this statement, this is scientific fact) the worst passing seasons in modern NFL history. They won 11 games. I still don't blame him for the 2007 Bears. The combination of the fall of Rex Grossman, the major injuries to Tommie Harris, Nathan Vasher, Charles Tillman, Brian Urlacher, and Mike Brown wiped out the talented core of that team's defense, and some of them never recovered. I actually think Lovie did a hell of a job getting nine wins out of a 2008 team that, frankly, wasn't that talented, and that hurt him in the long run because we all (me included) then thought that the 2009 Bears were a hell of a lot closer to contending than they actually were. He's always been a stabilizing influence and his ability to ride out a rough first half really looked smart when things came together in the second half last year. He was a touchdown away from a second Superbowl appearance for a franchise that made 2 Playoff appearances in the 12 years before he arrived. Why that always seems to be forgotten, I don't know.

All that said, if Lovie can't get this crew into the playoffs this year, he needs to go. Not in a "it's all his fault" way, but in a "it's just time to go" way. There's a time limit on these things, or else you end up in a Jeff Fisher situation, where the Titans first window (1999-2003) closed and you spend forever trying to open a new one and it gets harder and harder each year. If Lovie finds a way to win now, and they can keep rebuild while sustaining playoff appearances, great. If he fails? You're not going to be able to rebuild with him in the middle of all of the anger and rage of the fanbase and the organization. We're all worried about how Lovie's going to deal with losing bulwarks like Briggs and Urlacher down the road. If he can't win it's best to let someone without those attachments or those memories make the tough calls. That doesn't mean I won't appreciate what he did, though.

That wraps it up. It's hard to get a gauge on this team. By all accounts (the 2 game win streak, the improvement on both sides of the ball, the return of guys like Bennett and Carimi, the bye week rest) this team's arrow is pointing up, but I have a hard time recovering the enthusiasm I had before the deflating games against the Saints, Packers, and Lions. I look at the remaining schedule and can still forecast anywhere from 9-12 wins for this team, but it's shaky ground I stand on making that prediction. Oh, fuck it. They're going to make the playoffs. Go Bears.

The Bears at the Bye, Part II- The Defense and Special Teams

2011-10-28T10:40:00.004-05:00

Continuing from yesterday

The Defensive Line
-Henry Melton, DT: It's hard to get a good read on Henry Melton. On the one hand, he's been the pass-rushing threat I had hoped he'd be, since he's got 3 sacks in 7 games (consider that that's nearly as many as his predecessor Tommie Harris had in 09 and 10 combined). On the other hand, he hasn't made a huge impact against the run and he tends to run very hot and cold. Consistency would be nice, although the team may be less dependent on him now that Amobi Okoye has emerged

-Amobi Okoye, DT: I never understood why people thought this was a bad signing, besides the "LOL, THE BEARZ ER SIGNIN EVERYUNS BUSTS CUZ JERRY ANGELO IS A DERP LOL" crowd. Okoye had been moderately successful rushing the passer as a Texan and he had an incredibly low price tag. He's been a force on passing downs (3 sacks), and he's got 12 tackles as well. Henry's starting job may be in trouble, and Henry hasn't even played poorly. This is a good thing. Consider this: between Okoye (3), Melton (3), and Paea (1), the Bears have almost as many sacks from the DT position already this year (7) as they had all of last year (8). The consistency isn't quite there yet, but it's already better than last year.

-Matt Toeiana, DT: Matt had a nice year last year, but he's been hurt and outplayed so far by Melton and Okoye. That's not a bad thing. As a starter, Toeiana was alright, but as the third guy in the rotation? Those are nice, fresh legs to have. It'll be interesting to see if he gets activated after the bye, since Paea's come on strong.

-Stephen Paea, DT: My mancrush on this kid isn't quite commensurate with his actual production so far, but it's close. His numbers in college and his work at the combine speak for themselves. In his first game he blew up the Vikings interior in order to get to McNabb for a safety, and he's been a big part of the improvement against the run the last two games, even if it doesn't show up on the stat sheet. I think he's going to take more and more of Anthony Adams' playing time, which is good thing, since Anthony's never been anything more than "solid."

-Anthony Adams, DT: I mean no disrespect to Adams. He's been a solid run stuffer for most of his time in Chicago, but he doesn't add much in terms of pass-rushing ability (never had more than 2 sacks in a season) and at this point you know he's never going to be an extraordinary player. Again, I think it's likely that you'll see Paea start to phase him out as the year goes on.

-Israel Idonije, DE: Izzy got off to a slow start, but he's played well of late and is now at 3 sacks on the year, and it seems likely he'll match last year's numbers, at least. He's not a star, but he knows how to take advantage of being the bookend to Julius Peppers.

-Julius Peppers, DE: He's still the man. What else do you need to know? The bye should help him rest his banged-up knee, and I'm sure he'll tee off on a shaky Philly offensive line.

Linebackers:

-Brian Urlacher: He's still playing like the guy from last year who suddenly found the fountain of youth. He's already racked up 41 tackles, 3 run stuffs, a fumble recovery for a TD, 3 awesome interceptions, and 4 pass deflections. I have no idea how long he can keep playing like this, but for now it's sure as hell nice to have.

-Lance Briggs: He pissed us all off with his offseason shenanigans, but he's made up for it on the field lately. He leads the team in tackles, with 55, and got his first interception during a monster game against the Bucs. As usual, he's near the top of the league with 5 run stuffs. It'd be easy to question the linebackers given the success opposing teams had earlier this season in the game, but these two haven't been the problem.

-Nick Roach: He plays the most thankless position in the entire Cover 2 scheme, and hasn't registered much on the stat sheet. He also hasn't been caught of position much, either. In short, he's Nick Roach, and he's...alright. He's not Hunter Hillenmeyer, so, that's one in the win column for him.

Cornerbacks:

-Charles Tillman: He still gets a ton of shit for stuff that isn't his fault. Calvin Johnson's TD? Not Charles' assignment. Devery Henderson? Not Charles' guy. He got victimized again by Greg Jennings, but he wasn't the guy matched up on Steve Smith. As far as the things he's been responsible for? Charles has been pretty good. He played a surprising amount of man against Roddy White and was very successful at it. He's made far more tackles (35) than a corner should have to make, thanks to the shoddy safety play, and, of course, he's forced one fumble. Like Briggs and Urlacher, he hasn't been the problem.

-Tim Jennings and Zack Bowman: These two have been part of it, that's for sure. I lump them together because they're equally useless. The Bears smartly recognized that Tillman isn't fast enough to cover speedy guys like Jennings and Steve Smith anymore. The result? A combined 17 catches for 300 yards (17.6 YPC). Guh.

-DJ Moore: Who doesn't love DJ and his seven interceptions (and two TDs) in two years? Communists, that's who.

Safeties:

-Chris Harris: He sucked. I know he was injured, and I was as shocked as anybody by his incredible drop off from last year, but he absolutely sucked. I'd still rather they have kept him over Black Todd Johnson, but there's no way to hide how bad Chris was in limited action. He struggled in run support, he was completely out of position on both Jahvid Best and Calvin Johnson's TDs in Detroit, and he got punished on Freeman's second TD pass against Tampa. He also dropped an interception opportunity right before that TD. I'll always like Chris, but he didn't belong in the lineup anymore.

-Brandon Meriweather: I have no lingering fondness for Meriweather (Black Todd Johnson). He's as clueless as a young Danieal Manning and as undisciplined as LaVar Arrington. He has no sense of where the ball is, or where it's going, and he's a dirty player. I don't care what he says about the NFL trying to "change his game." Nobody teaches you to tackle with your head, because, as Brandon has shown us, it often fails to result in a fucking tackle at all. Jesus, I can't believe I was excited about him. Him and Harris were undoubtedly the biggest problem on this defense.

-Chris Conte: Well, he's played two games and has either had his name called for good plays (incredible interception to prevent a Tampa TD) or hasn't had it called at all. I'll take it.

-Major Wright: He scares the shit out of me. He's played very well against Atlanta and Minnesota. He broke the cardinal rule and let Devery Henderson get behind him in New Orleans. He gets hurt All of the damn time. At this point he's a bigger question mark than Conte, even, but he's also far better than Brandon Meriweather.

Special Teams:

-Robbie Gould: He still hasn't missed a field goal in America. He's awesome. That hasn't changed.

-Adam Podlesh: He's certainly gotten enough work, hasn't he? He's done a good job. Nice leg. He can boot balls that Brad Maynard just couldn't do anymore.

That's it for now. I'll get to the coaching staff/rants about Mike Martz on Monday. I think the defense will be much better in the second half. Hard to see them giving up the big play so consistently from here on out. Will it be enough? I don't know.

The Bears at the Bye, Part 1: The Offense

2011-10-27T18:42:00.005-05:00

Last year the Bears were 4-3 headed into a week 8 bye. This year the Bears are, well, 4-3 heading into a week 8. So clearly not much has changed, no?

Well, for one, the method they used to get there was a bit different. The 2010 Bears managed to get to four wins by overcoming two teams they were supposed to have no chance against (Green Bay, Dallas), and by losing, in frustrating fashion, 3 of 4 games against mediocre or awful shitheaps (NYG, SEA, WASH). The 2011 Bears? Well, they've lost in painful fashion to three good teams, and have managed four wins of varying quality over a couple of bad teams and a couple of not-so-bad teams. The 2010 Bears lagged into the bye and needed a complete retooling, while this year's Bears appear to have regained some momentum after two straight wins.

Also, the issues that have confronted this team are almost entirely different than the ones that ailed last year's team. Sure, the shaky offensive line's been a problem for both, but otherwise the issues are quite different.

Injuries have been a big issue. The loss of Gabe Carimi and Lance Louis in weeks one and two completely reset all of the progress that had been made in the offseason and preseason towards upgrading the line. The line has certainly played better since Louis has returned, and the hope is that Carimi will represent a permanent upgrade, and keep Frank Omiyale off the field forever. Dane Sanzenbacher has played well as of late, but he still isn't an adequate replacement for Earl Bennett, whose knowledge of the playbook and versatility can't be matched by any of the other receivers.

On defense, the injuries to the safeties and the revolving door resulting therein has also been a major issue, resulting in some uncharacteristic big plays both on the ground and in the air. Harris got his release today, a surprising move considering the injury history of his replacements, but an understandable one given his poor play.

Regardless of how they got there, the Bears are 4-3. The second half of the schedule appears to have some promising soft spots (The AFC West, anyone? How about the Seahawks?), but a few places that could prove very troublesome (road trips to Philly and Green Bay, the rematch with Detroit). If this team comes back healthy and continues to play as it has the last two games, with the emphasis on Matt Forte and the whole not-giving-up-80-yard-touchd0wns-like-candy, they should make the playoffs. Otherwise, this is going to be one interesting offseason.

Anywho, now it's time to go unit by unit:

Quarterbacks:

Jay Cutler, thank God, is the only one that's played this year, and I'd say he's played well. The numbers (59% completions, only 9 TD passes) aren't great, but he's held up well under fire and you have to think his best days are ahead. The line has returned to health, Omiyale has been banished to the depths of hell, and Earl Bennett is coming back. Mike Martz appears to be making some of the adjustments (keeping guys in, bootlegs, back shoulder throws) that Jay has clearly been angling for. I think it's nice that Jay's obvious hatred for Mike has spurred Martz to actually take steps to enable his quarterback to be both productive and healthy. Crazy how that works. I'd also like to commend Jay on keeping the interceptions relatively low, when it would have been easy during the games in New Orleans and Detroit to just throw the damn thing into the crowd when your offensive line doesn't give a damn about protecting you.

Runningbacks:

Matt Forte: I don't know if I've ever seen a Bear (on offense) look as dominating as Forte has played throughout much of this season. When Martz doesn't inexplicably forget his existence (as happened in New Orleans and against Green Bay), Matt absolutely destroys opposing defenses. He's got over 40% of the team's yards from scrimmage. When you could apply that stat to someone like, say, Thomas Jones in 2004 or 2005, that was mostly due to the sad state of the offense, but the Bears haven't been embarrassing, really (16th in yards, 12th in scoring), and it's all thanks to Forte. I won't get into the contract dispute, since I've made my feelings on that apparent just like everyone else, but it's safe to say he's unquestionably the most important player on this team right now. Even if this season ends up as a disappointment in the win column, Forte alone would keep this team worth watching.

Marion Barber: He didn't play until week four against Carolina, but he's played well when he's gotten the opportunity, with 23 carries for 91 yards (4.0 ypc) and 3 rushing touchdowns. He doesn't have to do much, either, with Forte playing out of his mind on all three downs, but he's a huge upgrade over Chester Taylor , Khalil Bell, and Kevin Jones, the other three scrubs who've backed up Forte since 2008. I still don't get why Lovie didn't give him the ball on third or fourth down and inches against Detroit, and he needs to not let screen passes that hit him in the hands turn into interceptions, but other than that, I'm a big fan of the barbarian's work.

Khalil Bell: He's not good.

Tyler Clutts: the first sign that Mike Martz is maybe starting to come to his senses has been the increasing workload given to Clutts over the last couple of games. He's done an excellent job lead-blocking for Forte, even if he's shown on multiple occasions that his hands are made of righteous dolomite.

Wide Receivers:

Devin Hester: He's been awesome as ever at kick returns, with two TDs already this year, but he's been a frustrating proposition at wide receiver yet again. His excellent game against Minnesota aside, he's had a bad habit of disappearing in games where Jay really needs a go to guy. Hopefully the protection will improve and he can be more of a long ball specialist, but he's still not "the" guy and I think at his point we all know he isn't going to be.

Roy Williams: Here's the thing about Roy: when he does what he was brought her to do, like running nice, crisp dig routes and using his big body to secure balls for first downs, it's easy to see his value. When you see him weakly jogging down the sideline and allowing the safety to jump the route, or you watch him let a beautiful ball bounce off of his hands and chest on what would have been a crucial first down in field goal range, you get really, really angry. He's at least healthy now, so we'll see if he can start to produce on a regular basis in the second half. If not, well, I can go back to my time-tested practice of hating Roy Williams.

Johnny Knox: He's had a professional approach to his demotion, and he's played well, for the most part, when given a chance, as he's second on the team in receiving yards and first in yards per catch. He even broke up his first interception against Minnesota. On the other hand, his drop on 2nd and 17 against Green Bay will forever haunt my nightmares and it was a classic case of Johnny alligator arming the ball as he looked up to see where the hit was coming from. As always, he's a work in progress.

Dane Sanzenbacher: You've got to be f*&king kidding me. I spent all summer poking fun at the incredibly predictable Bears fan love affair with Sanzenbacher only to see the kid turn into a productive receiver. You have to admire the fact that Gritty McWhitenbacher managed to turn three of his seven catches into touchdowns. It's like team's can't even see him in the red zone. On the other hand, it's incredibly sad that it took one 5'11'' undrafted white guy to find Jay a reliable red zone target not named Greg Olsen. Either way, it'll be interesting to see if his role diminishes now that Earl is coming back, or if someone else loses reps because of it. You win this round, Whitey.

Earl Bennett: The BBE only caught 3 balls for 20 yards before going down with what may have been a lacerated spleen. Ouch. He's coming back for the Philly game, and I for one, am glad to see him. I'm betting Jay is happy too.

Sam Hurd: He's played. He hasn't been terrible. Hasn't been remarkable either.

Tight Ends:

Kellen Davis: Well, he's been as much of a red zone threat as his predecessor (8 catches, 107 yds, 2 TDs), but his blocking hasn't been as much of an upgrade as I hoped. It's been an upgrade, undoubtedly, but Martz still needs to get over the delusion that his tight ends can block defensive ends on their own. Windmills do not work that way.

Matt Spaeth: I like him. He's made some great blocks, and he scored a touchdown in the opener on that PA pass to the 2nd tight end that has worked for the Bears since time immemorial.

Offensive Line:

J'Marcus Webb: The numbers aren't good. He's allowed seven sacks, and he's also been penalized seven times. That said, he's still played well enough to give us hope. The raw totals aren't great, but he hasn't been consistently victimized. He's been quite dominant blocking the edge in the run game, and, outside of the Detroit game, he's been more good than bad. I think his arrow is pointing up.

Chris Williams: Well, I'll be damned. Williams has been, without a doubt, the most consistent player on the Bears entire line. He's allowed just 1 sack this year. If you saw that coming, you, sir, are some kind of sage. Not that I'm not thrilled. It'll be nice if Chris develops into a consistent starter at left guard and the Bears actually salvage something out of what could have been another first round disappointment.

Roberto Garza: Roberto's transition to center has been awesome. He hasn't bobbled snaps, he's managed the shotgun well, he's actually done something in the run blocking department and he's allowed just one sack. In short, he hasn't been Olin Kreutz, who proved that he's the asshole I long suspected him to be by walking away from New Orleans in the middle of the season. Good for you, Roberto. I love being right.

Lance Louis: I was high on Lance Louis after last year, and during the preseason. His injury really set this team back, as did the decision to go with Omiyale at right tackle in Detroit instead of Lance. Now that he's playing consistently he's been a big part of the team's success in the run game and he's certainly an improvement in protection, considering he hasn't allowed a sack this year.

Chris Spencer: Then again, Chris Spencer also hasn't allowed a sack this year and has played well out of position. I think the Bears will roll with Carimi and Louis with Carimi back, but I'm glad Spencer's making it a tough call. This is called depth. It's awesome, and it will mean a lot less Frank Omiyale in everyone's lives.

Gabe Carimi: Gabe looked promising in the preseason and against Atlanta. He allowed 1 sack in 6 quarters of work before going down with an injury. He'll get his job back, but it's nice to know Louis can step in if Gabe falters. I don't think he will, though. Carimi, Webb, and Louis give me a lot of hope for the future of this team at those spots.

Frank Omiyale: I saved Frank for last because, well, God, I hate him. How he keeps getting opportunities I'll never know, especially when he somehow recovered his job after losing it against Carolina, only to lose it again against Detroit. He's allowed 4 sacks and been penalized five times despite starting just three games. He is the Devil.

That's it for now, since this is a mile long.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 8

2011-10-27T17:18:00.002-05:00

Dolphins (0-6) at Giants (4-2)

Code Red: God damn you, Miami. All you had to do was not give the Tebow morons one more week to smile and you'd have not only provided me with endless laughs at their expense but another victory in the Prog. Bukakke. You did neither, and you may go straight to hell. Giants win.

Iggins!: If I were to whine I might point out that USF had that game in the bag before that stupid last second Cincinnati drive. BUT I WON'T (wait a minute...) Anyway, Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Ha....Giants. The Dolphins blew their only chance at a win, possibly this entire year.

Jags (2-5) at Texans (4-3)

Iggins!: ARIAN FOSTER WINS.

Mrs. Code Red: Matt Schaub is playing well, Owen Daniels is a consistent tight end, looks like they may have Andre Johnson back. Yep, those Texans are a great, well-rounded team on offense. Texans win. *Cough*Arian Foster can die*Cough*

Code Red: I'm staying out of this. Texans win.

Cardinals (1-4) at Ravens (4-2)

Code Red: Someone should have told Arizona that the team sucked and they'd have gotten better value by keeping their draft picks, shutdown corner, and cash than by trading for Kevin Kolb. Wait, that someone was me. Ravens win.

Iggins!: There's much more wrong with this team than their slightly above mediocre QB. Fitzy maybe should've gone somewhere else. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, the Ravens lost to the Jaguars, so it doesn't seem impossible they could fuck this up. But maybe they'll learn their lesson and run the ball with Ray Rice, and Code Red will stop spending every weekend crying in the fetal position about his fantasy team. Ravens win.

Vikings (1-6) at Panthers (2-5)

Iggins!: So this QB draft may actually turn out pretty damn good. Shocking! Except that I said Cam Newton would be great and I've been espousing the virtues of Christian Ponder since he was a Junior at FSU. Toots own horn. Cam wins here.

Code Red: I was actually pretty impressed with Ponder, and the Panthers run defense is absolutely turrible, so I'm taking AP and Ponder with the upset. Vikings win.

Mrs Code Red: This is the kinda game that Cam Newton Should win. Cam wins.

Saints (5-2) at Rams (0-6)

Code Red: The Rams suck, but the schedule makers really boned them hard for the first half of this season. Saints win.

Iggins!: It's pretty easy to pick against St. Louis at this point. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Why pick the Rams until they actually win? Note: We may never pick the Rams this year. Saints win.

Colts (0-7) at Titans (3-3)

Iggins!: I think we know who the Titans are now, and we also know that Indy is worse. Titans win.

Code Red: These two teams got beat by a combined 89 points last weekend. But the Colts are awful-er. Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: I have nothing witty to say here. Poor Colts. Titans win.

Lions (5-2) at Broncos (2-4)

Code Red: The Lions are hurting, and I was enjoying their little fall back to earth (it shall continue after their bye), but there's no way they collapse against Tebow like the Dolphins did. Lions win.

Iggins!: It would make my day so hard if Tebow beats the Lions and they tailspin to finish 6-10. But alas, I can't go that far out on a limb so I'll just hope I'm wrong. Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Lions might not be as good as many people thought they were, but they're better than Tebow. Lions win.

Redskins (3-3) at Bills (4-2)

Iggins!: So Beck is starting. Hightower and Moss are out for a long time. And they're playing Buffalo. Bills win.

Code Red: All of these things are true, but hopefully Buffalo's soft run defense will be good for Ryan Torain. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills win, the Redskins have earned my ire for benching Sexy Rexy and giving him pneumonia. Dick move, Washington.

Bengals (4-2) at Seahawks (2-4)

Code Red: The AFC North gets to play both the NFC West and the AFC South. That's the jackpot, and it's resulted in absurdities like a soon to be a 5-2 Bengals team. Odd. Bengals win.

Iggins!: Andy Dalton and AJ Green would like Cam Newton to sit the fuck down so they might get some rookie of the year consideration. Bengals win.

Mrs. Code Red: I can't pick the Seahawks. Bengals win.

Patriots (5-1) at Steelers (5-2)

Iggins!: I'm not yet convinced the Steelers are really good. Pats win.

Code Red: The Steelers seem like they've straightened out their issues enough to slow down Brady a little bit, that, and New England's piss poor defense, should get Pitt the win at home. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: As long as Tom Brady can keep the Steelers offense off the field (also, the Patriots terrible defense), the Patriots should win.

Browns (3-3) at 49ers (5-1)

Code Red: That soft AFC North schedule has also allowed a .500 Browns team to hide all of their many, many inadequacies. The 49ers are actually good. Strange. 49ers win.

Iggins!: We have to face facts that the thing that was most wrong with San Francisco was Mike Singletary. And that hurts me deeply. 49ers win.

Mrs. Code Red: 49ers. They're actually good. Bizarre.

Cowboys (3-3) at Eagles (2-4)

Code Red: Call me superstitious, I'd rather face an Eagles team coming off of a win over their divison rival than one coming off of a loss. Eagles win.

Iggins!: Yeah as bad as Philly has been the Cowboys are too spotty to pick on the road. Eagles win.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't trust Tony Romo. Eagles win.

Chargers (4-2) at Chiefs (3-3)

Iggins!: This may be totally ridiculous, but the Bolts have looked bad and the Chiefs seem to have remembered the formula. Have to pick the Chiefs here.

Code Red: The Chiefs have remembered the formula indeed. The formula being: Play the Vikings, the Colts, and a Raiders team starting Kyle Boller. Apparently the Chargers are none of those things. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: If Philip Rivers can't make something of this game, I'm not sure what to think of the world anymore. Chargers better win.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 9

2011-10-26T23:23:00.002-05:00

Standings:
Iggins!: 81-41
Code Red: 77-45
Mrs. Code Red: 72-50

Michigan State (6-1) at Nebraska (6-1)
Code Red: What the hell? Michigan State looked so damn...average...but they beat Wisconsin? Wisconsin beat Nebraska 48-17...transitive property never fails. MSU wins.

Iggins!: Hm. I don't really want to take chances but basically, the two games in which MSU has struggled were road games. They lost big to ND and only won 10-7 against a pretty mediocre OSU team. I really think MSU is a better team, but the matchup suggests NU wins, so I'll take the Huskers to win.

Mrs. Code Red: I like Nebraska better, but Michigan State looked really impressive beating Wisconsin...Michigan State, I guess, but with much hesitation.

Oklahoma (6-1) at Kansas State (7-0)
Iggins!: Oh crap, this game is this week? Oklahoma reminded us all why they lost last year; because some games they play like an NFL team and some games half of them are playing Tetris in their heads. I really like K-State but I don't think they're ready for this yet, and they're ranked much too high. Oklahoma wins.

Code Red: Yeah, I just can't see Oklahoma losing two in a row. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma is the superior team. They shouldn't lose again. Oklahoma wins.

Illinois (6-2) at Penn State (7-1)
Code Red: This game shall determine if Illinois has a January 1st bowl somewhere in its future still, or if this is just another incredibly talented team that Zook will drive down to the Hemorrhoid Ointment.Com Bowl. Illini win, me hopes, but the faith, she is sinking.

Iggins!: DE-FENSE. Penn State has lots of it. And Illinois is as one-dimensional as it gets. And it's in Happy Valley. I'm surprised you picked this game, knowing your homerism would slant you? Penn State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I hate to pick against Illinois, but I for sure think Penn State will win. Zook's going to fuck this season up like all of the others.

Clemson (8-0) at Georgia Tech (6-2)
Iggins!: I said I'd stick with them. And GaTech looked like dog vomit last week. Clemson wins.

Code Red: Man, Georgia Tech really fell off once conference play started. And they play in a shitty conference. That's a bad sign, man. Clemson wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Yeah, easy non-conference games are misleading. Clemson.

Wisconsin (6-1) at Ohio State (4-3)
Code Red: Wisconsin will have much rage to extract here. Wisconsin wins.

Iggins!: This is going to be a beating. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: The loss was a fluke. I take Wisconsin here.

Baylor (4-2) at Oklahoma State (7-0)
Iggins!: RG3 can't do it all by himself, and if this proves anything it's that Baylor just got lucky with one recruit and they will never be consistently prominent. OK State wins.

Code Red: Oklahoma State is the best team in the Big 12. OK State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Not only are they the best in the Big 12, they're a contender for best in the country. OK State wins.

Wake Forest (5-2) at UNC (5-3)
Code Red: I think this may be Wake Forest's first ever appearance on the Prognostication Bukakke. Wake Forest wins.

Iggins!: Hm. This is a tossup, so I'll take UNC to win.

Mrs Code Red: I think you're right. I've never seen Wake Forest here before. I know literally nothing about them. I guess go Wake Forest?

Stanford (7-0) at USC (6-1)
Iggins!: Stanford by several touchdowns.

Code Red: The Barkley-Luck matchup should rack up some points. Should be a fun game but USC will fade late to lose by multiple scores. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Andrew Luck will be the number one overall pick, therefore he should win this game. Stanford wins.

Florida (4-3) at Georgia (5-2)
Code Red: Georgia's recovered quite nicely and will break their losing streak in the World's Largest Outdoor Coke Orgy. Georgia wins.

Iggins!: Everybody got so angry in Georgia when the Dawgs lost to two great teams to start the year. Mark Richt wants you to suck it now. Georgia wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Neither looks particularly good to me, but Georgia appears to be the better of the two.

West Virginia (5-2) at Rutgers (5-2)
Iggins!: West Virginia's bane is... Syracuse? That's odd. I'll still take WVU to win here, though.

Code Red: I don't feel comfortable picking them, but West Virginia will win.

Mrs. Code Red: I know nothing about either team, I'll gamble with Rutgers because I've got nothing to lose. I'm crazy like that.

Bears 24, Buccaneers 18- Making it Look Difficult

2011-10-23T15:34:00.003-05:00

Outside of one bumbling sequence in the first quarter, when drops by Roy Williams and Marion Barber led to a an interception and a safety, and the fourth quarter, the Bears were clearly the better team today. The problem, however, is that they struggled to sustain that dominance and found themselves hanging on for a 24-18 win that was far more difficult than it needed to be.

Dropped passes, nonsensical runs up the middle when Forte was dominating the edge, a bad interception by Jay Cutler, and some very poor discipline in the Cover 2 allowed Josh Freeman to compose himself long enough to throw two TDs and make it a ball game.

Fortunately, the Bears still were the better team, sealing the deal with their fourth interception to salvage a 4-3 record before the bye. Last year they took a 4-3 record into a week 8 bye and emerged with a 7-2 run to lock up the 2 seed in the conference. This year? We'll see. It'll take more complete efforts, rather than the second half bumbling we saw today, to lock up a playoff spot in a much tougher NFC.

I'm not the gloomy type, however, so I'm happy enough to take a two game winning streak into the week off. Carimi and Earl Bennett should be back after the bye, so at the very least the Bears will go into the second half with the offense they expected to have to begin the season. Hopefully we'll see some consistency. On to the breakdown:

The Good:

Matt Forte: Pay. The. Man. There aren't many occasions where I find myself in complete lock step with the meatball crowd, but the fact that Matt Forte's future as a Bears isn't secure really frightens me. He once again carried the team with 25 rushes for 145 yards (5.8 YPC) and a TD, to go along with 38 yards receiving. He's now the first running back since Priest Holmes in 2004 to have over 1,000 yards from scrimmage in his team's first seven games. That's ludicrous. Don't let him go, Jerry.

Marion Barber: Helped out Forte with 6 rushes for 39 yards and a TD, although his drop on the screen led to Cutler's first interception. Jerk.

The Offensive Line: There was pressure throughout, and Jay rushed some throws he probably didn't need to, as well, but they paved the way for 177 yards rushing and allowed just 2 sacks, which, for this team, does merit the "just".

The Briggs/Urlacher Duo: 11 tackles, 2 passes defensed, 2 interceptions. Just 30 yards rushing for Tampa. That'll do it.

The Defensive Line: They seemed to get winded in the fourth, and the pressure died off a bit, but for most of the game Freeman was harried and harassed and completely ineffective, and although they registered just one sack, they contributed greatly to the four interceptions.

Chris Conte: Everyone on defense has played better the last two days, so you can't just give Conte and Paea the credit, but Conte played very well in this game, with a couple of tackles and a very impressive interception at the goal line.

D.J. Moore: The nickelback in the Cover 2 has just one job, really. D.J. does that very well, as his seventh interception in the last two years ended today's game.

The Bad:

Jay Cutler: He was off today. The first interception wasn't his fault, nor was the Brutal Roy Williams drop that preceded it, but his second int was awful and he rushed several throws that he just didn't need to rush. It wasn't an awful day, all things considered, and had Marion not dropped the screen that led to the first pick his totals on the day would have been much more respectable, but I was really hoping to see him build off of the two great games he'd had before this one.

The 4th Quarter Playcalling: Why the hell did Martz' go away from the outside runs that had destroyed Tampa for the first three quarters? Why'd he go away from play action in favor of straight dropbacks? Why's he keep calling that Hester reverse that's worked once in 2 years and has otherwise resulted in a never-ending series of fail? Gah. Oh well. They won.

Roy Williams' Hands: I didn't want to throw him completely in the bad, as he had a great catch and run TD, but his first drop pretty much ended what had been a very productive drive and he nearly lost another one in the fourth quarter. I want to give you a chance, Roy. Don't make me mad.

Anyway, Detroit lost and Green Bay is somehow not murdering Minnesota yet (it's only the 2nd quarter), so maybe things are looking up. Enjoy your bye week, all. Go Bears.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 7

2011-10-21T10:39:00.003-05:00

Broncos (1-4) at Miami (0-5)
Code Red: Miami Has to get a win at some point, and this seems like the place. Dolphins win.

Iggins!: Miami is so dysfunctional. They can't get out of their own way, and this is Tebow appreciation day, IN MIAMI, that is not a joke. Broncos win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm taking the Broncos. I mean, Tebow HAS TO WIN, right? He's the Messiah.

Texans (3-3) at Titans (3-2)
Iggins!: Hm. The Titans have looked good in spurts this year, but all three Texan losses came to great teams in close games... I love the Texans so I'll take them here.

Code Red: TEXANS. TITANS. AN EPIC SHOWDOWN IN A DIVISION THAT'LL BE WON BY THE FIRST TEAM TO HIT NINE OR MAYBE EVEN EIGHT WINS. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: The only thing I know about the Titans is that they aren't that good. I guess the only thing I know about the Texans is that they aren't that bad? Fuck Arian Foster. Texans win.

Bears (3-3) at Bucs (4-2)
Code Red: Well, damned if one blowout win didn't restore all of my confidence in this team. Wait. No it didn't. Oh well, hopefully the improvement continues and the neutral site should favor the more internationally recognized Bears? Bears win.

Iggins!: Do the Bears run 6 or 7 man protections all game long? Then they win! If they do not they will lose badly. I'll take the Bears cautiously.

Mrs. Code Red: I can't believe the Bucs are 4-2. I've watched two Bucs games, I think, and they look shitty. Bears win. Then again...the Bears have also kinda looked shitty. But the rules are the rules.

Seahawks (2-3) at Browns (2-3)
Iggins!: Ugh. Gotta take the home team. Browns win.

Code Red: These teams make Football Jesus cry. Browns win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm torn between saying the Seahawks and hoping to steal a win, or admitting defeat and playing it safe. I'll play it safe and go with the Browns. Also, no team should put neon green and teal together.

Chargers (4-1) at Jets (3-3)
Code Red: The Jets haven't looked impressive in a single game all year. Chargers win.

Iggins!: If the Jets could just switch their QB they'd have a shot. As it is they're screwed. Chargers win.

Code Red: 'Tis True. Rico Mirerez be all up in yo franchises, ruinings your postseason expectations.

Mrs. Code Red: Yay, Backup team! Go Chargers!

Redskins (3-2) at Panthers (1-5)
Iggins!: The Panthers are the best 1-5 team I may have ever seen (not saying much). Four of their losses were against top flight NFC teams. The Redskins may have been brought back to earth last week, and with Beck starting now I think the Panthers will win.

Code Red: Dammit. You haven't taken any of the teams I was hoping you'd take. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: They benched Sexy Rexy! Cam Newton shall take my revenge! Panthers win.

Falcons (3-3) at Detroit (5-1)
Code Red: If the Falcons can run with Turner and get to Stafford, they could win. I feel that's not going to happen, though. Lions win.

Iggins!: Lions win.

Mrs. Code Red: It hurts my soul, but I think the Lions will win.

Steelers (4-2) at Cardinals (1-4)
Iggins!: Oh Steelers. By many, many points.

Code Red: THE WHISENHUNT BOWL. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: This week sucks. Steelers win. Why does Arizona even have a team?

Chiefs (2-3) at Raiders (4-2)
Code Red: Trading away your entire future (a 2011 1st rd pick and a 2012 2nd rd (that could become a 1st) for a fading quarterback?) is bad. However, a heavy dose of Run DMC should be enough to sneak the Raiders past the Chiefs. Raiders win.

Iggins!: The Bengals certainly kicked some ass with that trade. The Chiefs figured out their identity the two weeks they had before the bye, But I think the Raiders are too good. Raiders win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Chiefs are gonna win sometimes...and they've been looking better, but the Raiders seem to be a much better team. Raiders win.

Packers (6-0) at Minnesota (1-5)
Iggins!: MASSACRE. Packers win.

Code Red: So much blood. I've decided that this year's Packers team is a better version of last year's Patriots. Their offense is seemingly unstoppable and you just hope some divinely inspired team can find a way to bump them off in the playoffs before they can make a run at title #2. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, this is laughable. Packers win, but should the Vikings pull it off I can only assume divine intervention is involved.

Rams (0-5) at Cowboys (2-3)
Code Red: Sam Bradford should give Tim Couch a phone call to get some advice on dealing with life as a first overall pick suffering on a franchise with no talent. Cowboys win.

Iggins!: The Rams are confusingly terrible. Even Romo can't choke this one up. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: Cowboys, even though Tony Romo has found a way to blow everything so far, I think he and Miles Austin will get the Cowboys and my fantasy team on track here.

Colts (0-6) at Saints (4-2)
Iggins!: What a terrible lineup of games this week! Saints win.

Code Red: Indeed. Bad week to try and advance in the standings. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Colts are gonna win at some point. This is so not that point. Saints win. (plus, Drew Brees has the cutest baby in the world).

Ravens (4-1) at Jags (1-5)
Code Red: Oh come on. Who thought this was going to be a good game even before the season? Ravens win.

Iggins!: This is going to be one of the most boring weeks of football I have ever witnessed. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: Ravens. Why is this televised?

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 8

2011-10-21T10:37:00.002-05:00

So I skipped last week due to gross negligence on my part. Two weeks ago I cut Iggins' 8 game lead down to five. We'll see if I can make some more headway.

UNC (5-2) at Clemson (7-0)
Code Red: Per usual, it wouldn't shock me if they lost. However, Clemson is legitimately good. Clemson win.

Iggins!: I will pick Clemson until they lose from now on, I guess, so they'll probably be losing this week. Clemson wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Clemson, because they're undefeated. Logic.

Auburn (5-2) at LSU (7-0)
Iggins!: LSU. By a lot.

Code Red: Oh definitely LSU. The games suck this week.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU. They're really good.

Wisconsin (6-0) at Michigan State (5-1)
Code Red: Michigan State did a nice thing by dispelling the illusion that Michigan was good. However, Wisconsin is a murderous juggernaut. Wisconsin wins.

Iggins!: Wisconsin is much better than 6th in the nation. Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Wisconsin. Because they're a better team, maybe a national title team.

Washington (5-1) at Stanford (6-0)
Iggins!: Fun fact, neither of these teams has beaten a team with a winning record yet this season. In other words, Washington isn't actually good. Stanford wins.

Code Red: Andrew Luck is dreamy. Stanford wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Stanford I guess. This week does suck.

Penn State (6-1) at NW (2-4)
Code Red: Northwestern's due to break out at some point. NW wins.

Iggins!: I have to say Northwestern wins here if only because all you need to beat PSU is a great offense.

Mrs. Code Red: Northwestern. I think they tend to pull games out of their asses.

Cincinnati (5-1) at USF (4-2)
Iggins!: A BIG EAST SHOWDOWN. The conference of six! Soon to include perennial powers like SMU... and Navy... let us all hope this removes the Big East's autobid. USF wins?

Code Red: Cin..ci..nn..ati?

Mrs. Code Red: Should I care? Does anyone? Cincinnati (the town) sucks, I think. USF wins. Their win over Notre Dame is meaningless, but it's still the best thing either of these teams has done.

USC (5-1) at Notre Dame (4-2)
Code Red: Ah, both of these once proud teams are pretty mediocre. USC's defense blows. I think Notre Dame will take advantage. ND wins.

Iggins!: I'll take Notre Dame because of home field advantage.

Code Red: You sonofabitch. TAKE USC, DADDY NEEDS THE WINS.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take USC, then. Bitches.

Utah (3-3) at Cal (3-3)
Iggins!: This is tough. I'll take Utah because Cal is so goddamned irrelevant.

Code Red: I'll take Cal because Utah is so goddamned irrelevant.

Mrs. Code Red: This whole damn week is irrelevant. U..tah?

Texas Tech (4-2) at Oklahoma (6-0)
Code Red: There were only a few good games this weekend. This isn't one of them. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: Oklahoma wins by 50.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma. There's no way Texas Tech can win this.

Oklahoma State (6-0) at Missouri (3-3)
Iggins!: Missouri was very overrated this season. OK State wins.

Code Red: If they were rated at all they were overrated. No one should have looked at Missouri and said “oh, they merit discussion.” OK State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma State.

Bears 39, Vikings 10- I Don't Know What it Means, but it was Awesome

2011-10-17T12:10:00.003-05:00

So the Bears may have fixed a lot of their issues last night with some well-timed lineup changes and an adjustment of their protection schemes on offense. The result was a 39-10 destruction of the Vikings, a team that I actually had convinced myself to fear last week due to their solid pass rush and the always-correct transitive property of football, which stipulated that Jahvid Best's 155 yard night last week surely would result in at least 384 yards for Adrian Peterson. Then again, the Vikings may have just been a lot worse than we thought, and the Bears are still heavily mired in the thick of the NFC. So we'll see. Whatever its implications for the future, that game was still fun as hell to watch. On with the breakdown:

The Good:
-Devin Hester: He's always killed them on returns, but for whatever reason the Minnesota Vikings are also the one team that's been consistently victimized by Devin Hester the receiver. For his career, Devin has 370 yards receiving and 5 receiving TDs against the Vikings, far more than he has in either category against any other team. Last night he managed to destroy double coverage on the deep bomb we've been waiting for from him and Jay for about three years. He finished with 5 receptions for 91 yards (18.2 YPC) and 1 TD, and had one drop on a pass that would have given him his second career 100 yard game. He also added his 16th career return TD on a 98 yard kickoff return, his fourth career return TD against Minnesota. friend of mine postulated that Devin's family may have been attacked at some point by Nordic tribesmen, filling him with a never-ending lust for vengeance. I don't know. He was awesome last night, and I hope he can find a way to start exploiting other teams in a similar fashion.

-Jay Cutler: Mike Martz went old school last night and decided to build the entire game plan around protection Jay. What a novel concept. The run game clicked early and the play-action pass proved devastatingly effective, and Jay finished with his most efficient and effective game of the year so far, as he finished 21 of 31 (67.7%) for 267 yds (8.6 YPA), 2 TDs, and 0 INTs. His first touchdown pass to Hester, which came with only 2 receivers on the pattern and EIGHT men in to block, gave us yet another glimpse of what Jay can do if he just has time to fire the ball deep, and it was beautiful. Hopefully we see more of this going forward.

-Matt Forte: Al Michaels made a snide remark during the game about all of the Pay Forte signs in the crowd, saying "its easy for fans to spend someone else's money." Fuck off, Al. Its easy for anyone with a fucking brain to see how important Matt Forte is to the success of this team and how royally screwed they'd be without him. Matt chipped in another stellar game with 17 rushes for 87 yards (5.1 YPC, he's averaging 5.3 YPC on the season) and 6 catches for 36 yards. Pay the man, Jerry.

-Stephen Paea: Paea spent the first five games inactive on the bench. I don't know if he needed that time to get acclimated to the pro game or not, but his first game seems to indicate it was a mistake. I was beyond excited about the kid when the Bears drafted him, as he was a holy terror at Oregon State and he set a combine record in the bench press. He's got a strong first punch and could potentially take over for Anthony Adams and upgrade this team at the nose tackle. Last night he showed that potential with 2 tackles, a safety, and some stout run defense. I can't get too excited, but at the very least it was a smart move to get the kid some reps now. You drafted him to be a difference maker, so give him a chance.

-Julius Peppers: Played on a bum knee and wound up with two sacks. I'd really like to find those sonsofbitches who said he "took plays off" when he came to Chicago and see what they think of him now.

-The Rest of the Defense: It helps that Minnesota is shitty, so all of this comes with a huge asterisk until proven otherwise, but the Bears defense did exactly what they were supposed to all year long: they stopped the run, limited McNabb and Ponder to the meaningless dink and dunk crap, and then they racked up 5 sacks. Conte and Major Wright played fairly well, as far as I could tell, in that they were everywhere they were supposed to be all night and limited anything that got past the second level to a moderate gain. That's a vast improvement over the last few weeks. Again, hopefully this can continue against teams that aren't quite so shitty.

-The Offensive Line: Jesus Christ, I can only imagine how things might have turned out differently in Detroit had they gone in with this lineup (WHY IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU PUT OMIYALE BACK IN AFTER YOU BENCHED HIM AGAINST CAROLINA? WHY) and this gameplan. They neutralized Jared Allen and Brian Robison for most of the game, limited the damage to one sack, gave Jay time to throw, and cleared holes for Forte. Please don't let this be yet another momentarily epiphany by the coaching staff that disappears the second they think they can outsmart someone.

The Bad:

-Nothing really that I could see. All three phases played well. Just hope it wasn't too late, and that it's more than a mirage.

Lions 24, Bears 13- Tired.

2011-10-10T22:41:00.004-05:00

I've spent a lot of time around these parts defending Lovie Smith and Jerry Angelo. Lovie far more than Angelo, but still, my general feeling has been that it's hard to fire a regime that's won more than it's lost. Well, I'm done. I'm tired of seeing the Bears go into these situations completely outmanned and outgunned. I wouldn't be pissed to see this team keep Lovie and fire Angelo, as I think Lovie generally wins when he has enough players to do so, but I'd not be heartbroken to see them both thrown overboard at this point. Jay Cutler and Matt Forte played as well as two players possibly can play with no one around to bail them out. Cutler dropped back 43 times and was able to set his feet maybe twice. That's inexcusable.

As for Forte, he's only averaging 157 yards from scrimmage this year and Jerry refuses to spend any chunk of his 31 million in cap room to lock him up. Devin Hester made one nice catch tonight and had several terrible misses. The difference between the Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions tonight was pass protection and Calvin Johnson. Detroit's managed to resurrect itself in two years by building up front and finding a playmaker. Jerry's had 10 years to do both and has done neither, and I'm tired of it. This team may salvage 8, 9, or even 10 wins out of the rest of this schedule. It won't matter. They're not elite, and it's only getting worse. Peppers, Urlacher, and Briggs aren't getting younger. Charles Tillman proved again that, although he may be great at forcing turnovers when everything's great up front, he can't cover a guy like Calvin Johnson on his own.

This is everything we feared before the season. It's a team in decline. I was worried on opening day when Michael Turner ripped off 100 yards, but dismissed it in the win. Since then the Bears have shown they can't stop the run, and that's step one in the entire Cover 2 defense. If they can't do that, nothing else works. Tonight they let JAHVID BEST run for 155 yards against them. That's all you need to know. It's going to be long and ugly and we can only hope that at the end of it all someone new is in charge. Hopefully it's someone who can identify the guys we know are worth keeping (Jay Cutler, Matt Forte) and whoever else on this roster might be worth it (Carimi?) and then clean house and rebuild. I know it can be done. Just look at the team that won tonight's game.

Oh, and I'm not going to do a Good/Bad breakdown for tonight's game because we all know Matt Forte and Jay Cutler played their hearts out and no one else did. I will, however, single out Frank Omiyale and Brandon Meriweather. Those guys don't belong on an NFL roster. Or a CFL roster. Or an Arena Football Roster. Hell, Frank Omiyale's caused me (and Jay) enough pain over the years that I don't think he really belongs among the living.

That's all for tonight. Good night, folks. Good night, 2011 Bears.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 5

2011-10-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

Saints (3-1) at Panthers (1-3)
Code Red: This Panthers team is going to upset someone very soon. I'm not sure it'll be Breesus, however. Saints win.

Iggins!: We are thinking the same damn things this week. I feel like I should pick Carolina, but I just can't pick the Panthers to win until they close the deal once. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints. Breesus over Cam. For now.

Raiders (2-2) at Texans (3-1)
Iggins!: The Raiders have had a tough schedule up to this point. They're much better than the 2-3 record they are going to have. They drop this one because they have a pretty atrocious run defense. Texans win.

Code Red: Indeed. This has shootout potential, but whereas Arian Foster vs. Run DMC is fairly even, Schaub over Campbell every time. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Fucking Texans. Fucking Arian Goddamn Foster. I hope he tears his entire leg off (Editor's note: she traded Foster to Iggins! In our fantasy league last week). Sigh. Texans win though.

Cardinals (1-3) at Vikings (0-4)
Code Red: the Vikings have to win at some point, no? The Cardinals have been disappointing, and Adrian Peterson may be the key here. Vikings win.

Iggins!: I'll take the Cardinals because they have a better team, and even though they have yet to capitalize fully on their offensive talent, the Vikings have specialized in failure this year. Cards win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Vikings have been close lately...Vikings?

Eagles (1-3) at Bills (3-1)
Iggins!: Normally it takes teams at least 5 or 6 weeks to start capitalizing on the obvious weaknesses of their opponents. This season every team is running the ball straight at Philly, and that just happens to be their weakness. Fred Jackson goes off, Bills win.

Code Red: I don't know. Buffalo allowed Andy Dalton to run on them last week. Vick should have a big enough game to get the Eagles sort of back on track, although they still have a ton of weaknesses. Eagles win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills. Last week was just a hangover.

Seahawks (1-3) at Giants (3-1)
Code Red: Wow. The Giants will be 4-1. What the hell? Giants win.

Iggins!: What a strange NFC East we live in. Giants win.

Mrs. Code Red: Laugh laugh laugh. Giants.

Chiefs (1-3) at Colts (0-4)
Iggins!: The Chiefs will have the same record as the Raiders, and that is a grave injustice. Chiefs win.

Code Red: Indeed it is. Matt Cassel sucks. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the Colts. They were close last week. I don't think they'll go winless, so might as well be the Chiefs. Colts win.

Titans (3-1) at Steelers (2-2)
Code Red: Fuck it, the Titans might be just plain good. Titans win.

Iggins!: The Steelers have looked bad and the Tits have looked good. Titties win.

Mrs. Code Red: Titans, because I have their defense in fantasy.

Bengals (2-2) at Jaguars (1-3)
Iggins!: Wow, who cares? Bengals win?

Code Red: Sigh. Somehow the Bengals will be 3-2. Bengals win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bengals, I guess?

Bucs (3-1) at 49ers (3-1)
Code Red: Harbaugh has some powerful magicks to have conjured a 3-1 record out of this crew. But the Bucs are legitimately good, so Bucs win.

Iggins!: Yeah, we'll see how good the 49er run defense really is. Bucs win.

Mrs. Code Red: The Bucs.

Chargers (3-1) at Broncos (1-3)
Iggins!: Chargers win.

Code Red: Man, the Broncos suck (will never forgive the Broncos Trolls of Aught Nine). Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Go Chargers, Go Philip Rivers. Chargers win.

Jets (2-2) at Patriots (3-1)
Code Red: I'd love Rex Ryan's boys to keep up their unlikely winning streak against the Pats, but the Jets defense hasn't looked anywhere near as stout as usual and they seem to think they can win consistently by having Rico Mirerez throw the ball 40 times a game. That is a fallacy, sir. Pats win.

Iggins!: Apparently Rex went crazy and yelled at his players, saying that they were going back to running it all the time. I've heard you say that before, Rex. I'm calling bullshit. Pats win.

Mrs. Code Red: Pats. I can't help it.

Packers (4-0) at Falcons (2-2)
Iggins!: The Falcons are doing their best to make the Bears win over them in week 1 look very meh. Packers win.

Code Red: Those bastards. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers. It's hard to pick against them.

Bears (2-2) at Lions (4-0)
Code Red: The Lions defense has some legitimate holes. They can't run the ball. They're a good team that's managed to escape the last couple of weeks because their opponent let off the damn gas. I think the Bears have enough on both sides of the ball, assuming Mike Martz continues to let the offense work through Matt Forte, to win this one. Bears win.

Iggins!: Here's the deal. The Bears are going to lose this game. But I am a Bears fan and I haven't picked against them in an official capacity (ESPN games, against my dad in head-to-head picks, or here) ever, so I'll say Bears win. (But they won't).

Code Red: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Mrs. Code Red: Dear God, let it be the Bears.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 6

2011-10-06T20:02:00.002-05:00

I think Mr. Cox says it all. The current standings:

Iggins!: 55-23
Code Red: 47-31
Mrs. Code Red: 45-33

Onto this week's picks:
California (3-1) at Oregon (3-1)
Code Red: Well, this one's easier than it looks. Oregon wins.

Iggins!: Has Cal ever been relevant? Oregon wins.

Code Red: They were pretty good when they had that one quarterback. Aaron Rodgers. Wonder what ever became of him.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with Oregon. My Dad lives there.

Missouri (2-2) at Kansas State (4-1)
Iggins!: Pretty simple here. K-State has been impressive and Mizzou has looked like garbage. Kansas State wins.

Code Red: Indeed, but the slate was pretty unimpressive this week. Kansas State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State, because they appear to be better?

Oklahoma (4-0) at Texas (4-0)
Code Red: My horrific record forces me to play it safe. Not that I'd pick an overrated Texas squad anyway. Oklahoma wins.

Iggins!: You noticed me kicking your ass there eh? Surprisingly I'm 4th overall in the BHGP college pick 'em pool this year. When have I ever been good at picking college games? Not since we've known each other. The times they are a-changing. Oklahoma beats a very overrated Texas team.

Mrs. Code Red: Oklahoma. Texas sucks.

Iowa (3-1) at Penn State (4-1)
Iggins!: I'm surprised you added a Hawkeye game! It really isn't my homerism that makes me pick the Hawks; they're simply a much much better team, and Ferentz still has his voodoo magic hold on Paterno. Iowa wins big.

Code Red: Indeed. Iowa is just the better team. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Won't you save me, Paterno? Penn State wins (unlikely).

Mrs. Code Red: Iowa, even if I hate rooting for them.

Miami (2-2) at Virginia Tech (4-1)
Code Red: So tempted to take Miami here, as Virginia Tech hasn't looked impressive at any point. But that's often Virginia Tech's M.O., so the Hokies win.

Iggins!: I agree with your logic, but Miami has looked worse (considering that OSU sucks). VaTech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Sigh. My gut says Miami but I don't want to fall farther behind. Virginia Tech.

Florida (4-1) at LSU (5-0)
Iggins!: This is going to be a terrible game. LSU wins by 30.

Code Red: No shit. They're destroying this team. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU, I guess.

Air Force (3-1) at Notre Dame (3-2)
Code Red: Damn you, Air Force. You really screwed me last week. Notre Dame wins.

Iggins!: If you would pay attention to the NCAA maybe you WOULDN'T SUCK AT THIS. (I have to soak this in while it lasts), Air Force wins. Seriously.

Code Red: I hate to make the sore losers argument, but if we're looking at a 3 year trend you're still 25 games back. Dammit. Even I want to call myself a bitch for making that comment.

Mrs. Code Red: Air Force. I'm gonna go with Iggins! Because he seems to be on a hot streak.

Texas A&M (2-2) at Texas Tech (4-0)
Iggins!: I miss Mike Leach. Texas A&M wins.

Code Red: Mike Leach is never gone, Iggins!, so long as we truly believe in him. Texas A&M wins.

Mrs. Code Red: My one upset pick? Texas Tech.

Auburn (4-1) at Arkansas (4-1)
Code Red: I have no idea what to make of Auburn this year. My gut tells me to roll with Petrino, however. Arkansas wins.

Iggins!: Auburn is certainly an enigma. I'll take the home team to be safe. Arkansas wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Arkansas.

Michigan (5-0) At Northwestern (2-2)
Iggins!: I will guarantee you Northwestern wins this game. I am more sure of this than any other pick I have made this week.

Code Red: Hmm...Michigan it is then.

Mrs. Code Red: Northwestern, I guess. I hate this.

Four More Years!

2011-10-04T22:23:00.002-05:00

So last Friday marked the fourth anniversary of Start Kyle Orton. As is my custom, I totally forgot. Not that anyone cares, but Iggins! and I have now managed to keep this thing running at various levels of productivity and competence for an entire presidential term (although Iggins!, has only shown up this year to somehow destroy my two year reign of dominance in the Prognostication Bukakke. That sumbitch got married last weekend, though, so he gets a pass for having a life. I've still got till June before I become one of those rare married bloggers). Most of you who read this site know the basic back story, primarily that the website mostly stemmed from my burning hatred for Brian Griese rather than any actual love for Kyle Orton, but Kyle seems like a decent enough guy and the people who come to me here and on Twitter and ignore my role as a blatant Jay Cutler apologist while bashing me for being some kind of Broncos troll make me laugh, so the name stays. Although the Tebow fans are getting old.

Anywho, I'd like to thank you all for your continued support and I decided this year to list my ten favorite posts on this here website as a celebration of all the fun I've had put this thing together:

10. Bears QB Controversies, Parts One and Two
The best part is they all were meaningless, as all of the participants sucked

9. Worst Ten Bears QBs of My Lifetime, Parts One and Two (sadly before Todd Collins' time)
An old classic. Man, I've seen some awful quarterbacking. And yet people question why I love Jay Cutler.

8. Man I hate Brian Griese
Nuff said.

7. Trent Dilfer, Too
If Trent Dilfer was on fire, I'd not piss on him unless I was drinking kerosene.

6. Go to Hell, Les Carpenter
The ultimate of the "2010 Bears were just lucky" smackdowns.

5. Good bye, Kyle Orton
Bidding adieu to the patron saint.

4. Fun with Fro Dog
I've met Fro. He's not a bad dude in person, but he's sure fun to stick poke.

3. Rick Morrissey, My Mortal Enemy
The never-ending battle with ol' penisnose himself.

2. Defending Jay Cutler
My impassioned defense of our hero following the NFC Title fallout.

And last, but certainly not least, a piece that ages like a fine wine and still earns me at least one hate mail a week from bitter UCLA fans...

1. The Cade McNown Article

Thanks folks. I hope you keep reading.

Bears 34, Panthers 29- Just Enough

2011-10-03T17:18:00.004-05:00

I apologize for another tardy game recap and my general absences/delays from the regular features here at Start Kyle Orton. I recently moved to a new area and started graduate school, so the changes in my personal schedule and the increase in workload have cut into my bloggin' time. I assure you, though, I will do my best to give you the completely useless information and commentary you've hopefully learned to ignore. Onto the recap:

The Bears did just enough this week to get by the Carolina Panthers. There are plenty of people who've already written this win off while looking at the generally poor defensive performance and the supposed lack of quality of the opponent. I'm not doing that. There were certainly some very good things to take from this game, and that Carolina offense isn't just "promising down the road" good, but very good as it is.

However, there were plenty of things I didn't like about this game as well. As usual, the answers will be found in the next week's game, as a win over the somehow undefeated Lions (I really don't mean to keep trashing them. They're obviously a good, talented team, but the last two weeks have been at least equal parts opponent meltdown and Lion comeback, especially when Tony Romo gift wrapped 21 second-half points for them via his interception-palooza) would really tell us whether this team has legitimate playoff hopes or is perhaps the fading team we all feared they may have been after their lackluster performances against the Saints and Packers. For now, though, I'm happy with a win.

The Good:
Matt Forte: If Jerry Angelo doesn't wise up to the necessity of paying this man, well, I will find a way to visit horrible pains upon his being. You can say what you will about Carolina's shoddy run defense. Nobody that's very good in that area will get gashed for 224 yards, but you also don't back your way to that kind of total on offense, either. Forte showed all day long that he can exploit any kind of hole with that second gear he has. Once he gets to the second level he accelerates like few backs in this league can. Nobody expects 205 yards per game out of him, naturally, but I'd truly like to murder Mike Martz if he ever again thinks he can just give up on the run after two or three unsuccessful attempts. Give Matt at least 15 carries and he'll open everything else up.

Lance Louis: A lot of people laugh when Mike Tice talks about Louis's athleticism, but the guy really is a promising offensive line prospect. Unfortunately, he's never been particularly good at staying healthy. Yesterday he started at guard, but moved to right tackle when Omiyale proved once again that he's Frank Omiyale. At both positions, however, Louis was a mauler in the run game and held his own in pass protection. Chris Spencer's given an acceptable performance the last couple of weeks for a center playing guard, but Louis has the potential to be one hell of a combination on the right side with a healthy Gabe Carimi, whenever they get him back.

Devin Hester: It was really nice yesterday to have Devin Hester remind me why I love him so much. Having spent much of the last few weeks ranting about his (and everyone else's) lack of ability as a wide receiver, I'm glad he reminded us all again of his true value. Both of his long returns yesterday were huge, and both were classic Devin. The kickoff return especially made me laugh, as I immediately said "that's not a good idea Devin" as he took it out of the end zone, then happily wiped the egg off of my face as he took it back 73 yards. Then his punt return was a thing of pure beauty, and may the officials that flagged his celebration rot in hell. The man's the Greatest of All Time. Let him celebrate his record.

D.J. Moore: The nickelback in the Tampa Two isn't much of a cover corner. Their main job is to take advantage of harried QBs and come up with turnovers. DJ excels at this. Any time a ball is batted in the air it seems to find him, and he's very good at transitioning to ball carrier and taking the ball in for scores. Good job, DJ.

-Cam Newton: If my recent destruction in the Prognostication Bukakke (more on that later) hasn't shown you, Cam Newton's incredible success as a pro quarterback is definitive proof that I know absolutely nothing. He's got Aaron Rodgers-level ability. There were a number of times in that game where the defensive tackles broke through the line quickly and I expected Cam to tuck and run toward the edge, and instead he evaded the arm tackles, re-set his feet and made an incredible throw. God, I don't want to see him again anytime soon.

The Bad:

Tim Jennings: With his speed and route-running ability Steve Smith is a nightmare for most corners. I don't disagree with Lovie putting someone other than Tillman on him. P'nut's game has always been best against big, tall receivers, not the speedy guys. However, Jennings got absolutely Destroyed by Smith. He wasn't helped much by the terrible two-deep play of Brandon Meriweather, but man, Jennings has been awful in back to back weeks against Jennings and Smith. Hopefully Charles Tillman is up to the task of slowing down Megatron next weekend, because Jennings sure as hell can't do it.

Brandon Meriweather: For the second time in three weeks a Bears safety broke the cardinal rule of Lovie-ball. Do not get beat deep. In New Orleans it was Major Wright peeking into the backfield, but this week Meriweather got caught looking a couple times, not to mention he's already shown the tendency to freelance and look for the big hit that his detractors in New England spoke of. I'd expect Lovie and Marinelli to work with him more in the coming weeks, and the return of Chris Harris (whenever that is, hopefully soon) should definitely help, but so far its been an auspicious start as a Bear for Brandon.

Defensive Line: The Panthers have a pretty good offensive line with Jordan Gross and Ryan Kalil, but there needs to be more of an impact from guys like Julius Peppers and Henry Melton in a game like this. I know Newton probably escaped from 3 sacks that most QBs can't, but Peppers and Idonije were completely neutralized off the edge for most of the game. That absolutely cannot happen again, unless they want 500+ yards of offense from their opponent every week. By the way, back in 2007 I said the Bears should draft Ryan Kalil as Kreutz's eventually heir apparent who could play some guard. They drafted Olsen instead. Both are now Panthers. Make of that what you will. The line also needs to find some way to make more of a mess in the middle. Ryan Grant and DeAngelo Williams have both hurt them inside in the last two weeks.

Jay Cutler: I understand it's hard to get in rhythm when you only throw on third and long for most of the game, and I counted at least two drops, but Jay's accuracy really slipped after a hot start. He was just 3 of 9 with an interception after a 6-8 start. He's really had a hard time keeping the ball down the last couple of weeks. Hopefully Lance Louis and Gabe Carimi can get back and stay back in the lineup and Jay will have the confidence in his protection that he had during the preseason and during the opener, but for now he's just not showing the kind of accuracy we're used to.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 4.

2011-09-29T22:52:00.000-05:00

Panthers (1-2) at Bears (1-2):
Code Red: Please God, let them get something figured out here and get healed up/back on track before the MNF game in Detroit. Bears win.

Iggins!: If I were not a Bears fan I would pick Carolina. But I am, so DA BEARS win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears.

Lions (3-0) at Cowboys (2-1)
Iggins!: The Lions have had a very pleasant schedule, haven't they? The Cowboys have no business posing as a 2-1 team. Lions win.

Code Red: I know I said I'd stop hating on the Lions, but Dallas at home is a tough draw. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Red: I really don't know. I guess the Cowboys, because I want the Lions to lose?

Vikings (0-3) at Chiefs (0-3)
Code Red: Well, Minnesota has to get a break at some point. Adrian Peterson should be the difference here. Vikings win.

Iggins!: The Chiefs showed signs of life last week, and the Vikings will probably lose after being up 35-0 at the half. Chiefs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Chuckle chuckle chuckle. Vi..kings?

Bills (3-0) at Bengals (1-2)
Iggins!: I am riding the Bills to prognostication glory. CIRCLE THE WAGONS. Bills win.

Code Red: No reason to hop off this bandwagon this week. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bills. Obviously they're somehow actually good.

Titans (2-1) at Browns (2-1)
Code Red: Tennessee has been surprisingly good. The Browns have been playing it way too tight the last couple weeks. Titans win.

Iggins!: Yeah, what the hell? The Titans aren't supposed to be above average! Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: I don't care? The Titans?

Redskins (2-1) at Rams (0-3)
Iggins!: The Rams look terrible. Redskins win.

Code Red: Really, really terrible. Redskins.
Mrs. Code Red: Sexy. Rexy. Redskins.

49ers (2-1) at Eagles (1-2)
Code Red: Well, my Bears angst is calmed somewhat by the EaglesFail. They should get back on track here, though. Eagles win.

Iggins!: The 49ers are 2-1?! Good God. Eagles win.

Mrs. Code Red: I think Michael Vick is a scam, but the 49ers suck. Eagles win.

Steelers (2-1) at Texans (2-1)
Iggins!: The Steelers appear to be mediocre, and even against the Saints the Texans fought hard. I'll take the Texans here.

Code Red: Houston has to prove they aren't the Texans anymore. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Texans, because even without Arian Foster (FUCK HIM)* they look good.

Saints (2-1) at Jaguars (1-2)
Code Red: Ha. Saints win.

Iggins!: Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: Saints.

Falcons (1-2) at Seahawks (1-2)
Iggins!: Wow there are a lot of good 1-2 teams in the NFC right now. Falcons win.

Code Red: Seattle is not one of them. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Falcons. They're much better.

Giants (2-1) at Cardinals (1-2)
Code Red: That Cardinals secondary is certainly bad enough to lose to Eli Manning. Giants win.

Iggins!: The Cardinals have not yet figured out how to play offense. Which is odd. Giants win?

Mrs. Code Red: Giants.

Patriots (2-1) at Raiders (2-1)
Iggins!: The Raiders are a good team, they just don't match up well against the Pats. Patriots win.

Code Red: The Raiders could shoot out with the Patriots just as well as they did with the Bills, but Tom Brady will probably be too much. Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: Do the Patriots ever lose two in a row? Patriots win. WELKAH.

Broncos (1-2) at Packers (3-0)
Code Red: Well, this should be quite the brutalization. Packers win.

Iggins!: There are states in which showing this type of disgusting massacre would be illegal. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: That's humorous. Packers.

Dolphins (0-3) at Chargers (2-1)
Iggins!: The Fins... wow. Maybe even moreso than the Vikings these guys find a way to lose. Chargers win.

Code Red: Damn you. Keep picking your beloved Dolphins, moron! Chargers.

Mrs. Code Red: Chargers, and Philip Rivers better have a damn good day.*

Jets (2-1) at Ravens (2-1)
Code Red: The Ravens are the better team, and they're at home. Ravens win.

Iggins!:Rex Ryan, I will reiterate, is an idiot on offense. And that will doom him until he starts acting like the Raiders instead of the frigging Saints. Ravens win.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess I'll play defensive bukakke. Ravens win.

Colts (0-3) at Bucs (2-1)
Code Red: Well, this must have looked like a much better game in the offseason. Bucs win.

Iggins!: Lots of fantasy points for Blount here. Bucs win.

Mrs. Code Red: Bucs.

Prognostication Bukakke NCAA Week 5

2011-09-29T22:47:00.004-05:00

Rough week last week. For the first time in two years, Iggins! now holds a lead in the prognostication bukakke. This cannot last.

Standings:
Iggins!: 34-18
Code Red: 32-20
Mrs. Code Red: 29-23

This week's picks:

Northwestern (2-1) @ Illinois (4-0)

Code Red: Even with the return of Dan Persa, Northwestern doesn't appear to be as talented as Illinois, and Illinois is at home. The Illini win.

Iggins!: It looks like Illinois got the Zook out of their system last week, so Illinois wins here.

Mrs. Code Red: Illinois. Native state, homes.

Arkansas (3-1) @ Texas A&M (2-1)

Iggins!: That was a pretty epic meltdown by A&M last weekend. They'll get an early welcome into the SEC here. Arkansas wins.

Code Red: Sigh. I was hoping you'd pick A&M. Arkansas.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M. Not sure why. I just kind of like the Aggies.

Auburn (3-1) @ South Carolina (4-0)

Code Red: This is exactly the kind of game Spurrier would find a way to lose, but I'll stick with the logical odds. South Carolina wins.

Iggins!: South Carolina has been trying to lose all season, but they just can't! So until they do I'll say South Carolina wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with Cam Newton. He was at Auburn last year, and now he's in the Carolina region, so South Carolina wins.

Michigan State (3-1) @ Ohio State (3-1)

Iggins!: Here stand two very underwhelming Big Ten teams. I feel like MSU should be better, so I'll take Michigan State to win.

Code Red: OSU sucks. MSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: The Ohio State University.

Baylor (3-0) @ Kansas State (3-0)

Code Red: I don't think anyone has noticed that both of these teams might be kinda good. I'll roll with Robert Griffin III and Baylor. Baylor Wins.

Iggins!: That was a nice win against Da U last week for K State, but Jacory Harris ain't no Robert Griffin. Baylor wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Kansas State because I hate Baylor, since I had a professor who was a Baylor alumnus who annoyed the crap outta me.

Air Force (2-1) @ Navy (2-1)

Now I'm picking service academy games? Jesus. Air Force wins using their secret weapon: T-REX IN JETS.

Code Red: Coach Unspellable Name for the win. Navy.

Mrs. Code Red: Go Navy, because my Dad was a sailor. Navy wins.

Miss. St (2-2) @ Georgia (2-2)

Code Red: The SEC's two most disappointing teams meet. I'll give the Bulldogs the edge here. Ha. Ha. I make a funny. MSU wins.

Iggins!: The difference is that Georgia has looked much better. MSU appears to suck. Georgia wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I pick the red and black team. Ha. Ha. Georgia.

Clemson (4-0) @ Virginia Tech (4-0)

Iggins!: Crap. Now Clemson is winning the big games they normally lose! If I pick Clemson they will certainly lose, so I'm pick Virginia Tech to win in hopes that Clemson makes me look stupid.

Code Red: Never. Trust. Clemson. Virginia Tech.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with the Hokies, because I just found out that means turkey. Awesome. Virginia Tech wins.

Nebraska (4-0) @ Wisconsin (4-0)

Code Red: Now things get interesting. I think Russell Wilson gives Wisconsin the edge. Badgers win.

Iggins!: The Big Ten is basically Wisconsin and a bunch of slightly above mediocre teams (Illinois may be slightly better than that). So Wisconsin wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with the Huskers. Nebraska wins.

Alabama (4-0) @ Florida (4-0)

Iggins!: You know my policy on Trent Richardson. Alabama wins.

Code Red: Sigh. I'll be the gambling man. Florida wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama. Florida is so 2008.

Packers 27, Bears 17- Ugly

2011-09-25T18:29:00.008-05:00

I don't really like admitting I'm wrong. I was very high on this Bears team all offseason as everyone relegated them to third place, and I held my head up very high after they destroyed the Falcons. That team is still there, somewhere, even if it's banged up and has made too many mistakes the last two weeks, but the problem is that we've seen two incredibly disappointing, inconsistent performances. Right now, they're playing like an 8-8 team. There's a lot they can do to patch it up and get better, but that's true of most teams hanging around at that level. The next two games against the Panthers and Lions will determine if they're the Bears I thought they were, or if the naysayers had the right idea. If they're standing here after those two games at 3-2, things will be looking good for the stretch, but if they're not...well, it's going to be a tough go in a division with two contenders who aren't going away.

The Good:
- Lance Briggs: He played well, with 11 tackles and a forced fumble.

- Brian Urlacher: Nice interception. Nearly gave the team a chance to come back.
That's all I've got.

The Bad:
-The offensive line: I can't blame Mike Martz for going away from the run. Every single one they attempted was a fucking disaster. The pass blocking was alright, but that run blocking is going to ground this offense until they get it straightened out. If they can.

-Frank Omiyale: Rot in hell, Frank. Rot. In. Hell.

-Craig Steltz: My God, Craig Steltz vs. Jermichael Finley is the greatest mismatch I've seen in years. Guh. Hurry, Chris Harris.

-Mike Martz: Balance alone isn't Mike's problem. Calling for two different plays where Chris Williams was responsible for pulling and blocking Clay Matthews? Who thinks that's a good idea? He also ran that damn Wildcat of his that has never done a single good thing for this team. He refused to call quick slants or anything else that could have gotten them small chunks in place of the absent run game. I'm really beginning to wonder at this point if Mike makes it out of the season in one piece.

-Jay Cutler: He had some nice moments, and he certainly had to take everything onto his shoulders given the non-existent running game and the poor play of his receivers, but he still threw two awful interceptions and a third that was nullified by penalty. His frustration is understandable, but his poor accuracy today really hurt.

-Johnny Knox- He may have been the team's leading receiver, but he showed off today everything that makes him such a frustrating player. His drop that would have been a first down--and more--on 2nd and 16 was classic Johnny, as you could see him looking for the hit as the ball bounced off his chest and then his face. That gave the Packers the field position they needed for the clinching TD. Then on the 4th and five with the team driving, he quits once more on a slant route and allows the defender to break up the pass. I'm fucking tired of seeing this show. Toughen up or just give up on football, Johnny. It's getting old.

The Ugly

-The officiating: Both teams had their fair share of issues with penalties, but the no-call when Woodson knocked down a streaking Hester on what should have been a TD pass was awful, as was the decision to only flag Hester when both Hester and Shields were throwing fists, and especially the phantom penalty on Corey Graham that nullified Knox's punt return TD. They couldn't even name the "real" player who committed the penalty. It was fucking awful.

That's it for now. This team needs to find some answers, fast.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 3

2011-09-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

49ers @ Bengals

Code Red: This game will suck. Bengals.

Iggins!: Andy Dalton has been surprisingly serviceable in his rookie year, but nobody really cares because Cam Newton is the second coming. Bengals win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with the Bengals, because I've actually heard of their QB.

Lions @ Vikings

Iggins!: The Vikings have played two teams who are clearly superior to them and lost in heartbreaking fashion both weeks... yup. Gonna happen again. Lions win.

Code Red: Well, spite is still driving me. Vikings win. This is probably the last week I'll forfeit a win in vain hopes that the Lions will fall apart.

Mrs. Code Red: Lions, because the Lions actually don't suck and the Vikings do. Strange world.

Broncos @ Titans

Code Red: Well, the Titans defense has been surprisingly decent, and the Broncos aren't good. Titans.

Iggins!: Hoo boy was that confusing. The Titans lost to Luke McCown in week 1... then they turn around and stymie the freaking Ravens? My gut tells me these guys are basically this year's version of last year's Browns and that they play big against tough opponents and play poorly against the weak. But until I see the Broncos beat them I won't fully accept that so I still think the Titans win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm gonna have to go with the Titans because I just picked up their defense in fantasy.

Dolphins @ Browns

Iggins!: Crap. I'm developing my old desire to pick the Dolphins to win every week. Dolphins win.

Code Red: You damned fool. Browns.

Mrs. Code Red: Let's give the Dolphins a shot.

Giants @ Eagles

Code Red: If Vick ain't startin? Giants.

Iggins!: The Giants looked bad and somehow won by 12. I have yet to see any reason to think the Giants aren't one of the worst teams in the NFL. The Eagles win regardless of their QB.

Mrs. Code Red: Whether Vick is healthy or not, it's about time for him to suck. I'll take Eli and the Giants.

Texans @ Saints

Iggins!: I like the Texans a lot, but I think this game will come down to home-field advantage. Saints win by the narrowest of margins.

Code Red: Yeah, the Saints are just a damn good team. Saints win.

Mrs. Code Red: I want to hope the Saints are really good because of what they did to the Bears. Saints.

Patriots @ Bills

Code Red: New England just has more ammo in a shootout. Patriots.

Iggins!: My upset special of the week. Basically all it takes is an offense with enough firepower and a little magic to beat New England, and Buffalo has that, plus they're at home. CIRCLE THE WAGONS. Bills win.

Mrs. Code Red: Well, I used to think I'd be really confident with the Patriots...I'll go with the Patriots just because they're the Patriots.

Jaguars @ Panthers

Iggins!: If Cam Newton plays, Panthers by a longshot. If not... will anybody care about this game at all if not?

Code Red: Jacksonville is terrible. Panthers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Is that a real game? Panthers

Ravens @ Rams

Code Red: Ravens.

Iggins!: Well after being a trendy pick to have a good season this year the Rams have gone and sucked just like they did last year. Plus the Ravens are going to be SUPER FUCKING PISSED. Ravens win and a Ram will be lost for the season in some way.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll go with Flacco and the Ravens.

Jets @ Raiders

Iggins!: The Jets defense will keep them afloat long enough to win by some stupid score, like 19-16 or something. Jets win.

Code Red: Both of these teams are kinda good and yet kinda not good. I'll gamble on the Raiders at home.

Mrs. Code Red: Jets.

Chiefs @ Chargers

Code Red: My God, the Chiefs are awful. Chargers.

Iggins!: There really isn't any reason not to start Palko or Stanzi at this point. Something needs to be shaken up dramatically on offense so the Chiefs can keep up with their terrible defense. Chargers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Oh my, the Chiefs are boned. Chargers.

Packers @ Bears

Code Red: Well, last week was brutal, but there are a lot of things Mike Martz can do to correct it. I'd really rather not see Green Bay with the team this banged up, but you know I'll take my Bears.

Iggins!: The Packer defense is terrible, what happened in New Orleans had a hell of a lot to do with the Superdome and a dramatic change of offensive gameplan that made no sense. Both of those things will be different here, and the Bears will win.

Mrs. Code Red: I will prove my loyalty here and pick the Bears to win.

Cardinals @ Seahawks

Code Red: The Seahawks and the Chiefs will both be in the running for Andrew Luck. Cardinals.

Iggins!: The Seahawks fall into the same category as the Giants this year as a team that looks like crap all the time despite a supposedly talented roster. Cardinals win.

Mrs. Code Red: Eww. Cardinals.

Falcons @ Buccaneers

Iggins!: The Bucs have not looked particularly good, but really neither have the Falcons. I think the Bucs came to a realization during the second half against the Vikings that running the ball is good and that will carry over here. It'll be close, but the Bucs will win.

Code Red: The Falcons are a better team. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Umm...Bucs because that angry bird on the Falcons helmet annoys me.

Steelers @ Colts

Code Red: Steelers. Colts suck.

Iggins!: Wow. No words needed. Steelers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Steelers.

Redskins @ Cowboys

Iggins!: Neither of these teams makes any sense, so I really just want to pick the Houston Oilers to win... but I guess I'll settle and take the Cowboys to win instead.

Code Red: Fuck it. I'll roll with Rex. Redskins win.

Mrs. Code Red: I'm sticking with Sexy Rexy until he lets me down. Redskins win.

Prognostication Bukakke, NCAA Week 4

2011-09-21T19:22:00.002-05:00

Last week's results

Code Red:18-8 (NCAA 8-2, NFL 10-6)
Iggins!:17-9 (NCAA 7-3, NFL 10-6)
Mrs. Code Red: 15-11 (NCAA 5-5, NFL 10-6)

Onto this week's picks:

FSU (2-1) at Clemson (3-0)

Code Red: One rule has served me well since the start of the prognostication bukakke several years ago. Never. Trust. Clemson. FSU wins.

Iggins!: I'm taking FSU because Clemson is still Clemson and they can't just stop being Clemson the second I stop caring about them. FSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I guess I'll take FSU too?

LSU (3-0) at West Virginia (3-0)

Iggins!: West Virginia is... sporadic, shall we say? They seem to take a half off each game, and against the ridiculous defense LSU has that just isn't enough. LSU wins.

Code Red: That LSU defense is truly terrifying. Their offense is...mediocre at best. Last year's game was a squeaker that WVU lost in Baton Rouge. Their offense is better than last year and they have homefield advantage. I'm going to go with the upset here, and pick WVU.

Mrs. Code Red: LSU. I just like them better?

Arkansas (3-0) at Alabama (3-0)

Code Red: Arkansas nearly knocked off Saban last year. I know Mallett is gone, but Tyler Wilson is a Petrino quarterback, and someone has to take advantage of Alabama's shaky offense at some point. Arkansas.

Iggins!: Alabama has Trent Richardson, and I will continue to pick them because of this until someone actually beats them. Alabama wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Alabama, because they're supposed to be better.

OK State (3-0) at Texas A&M (3-0)

Iggins!: I also have a perennial mistrust of Texas A&M and an unnatural love for Oklahoma State and their shiny offense. This early in the season gut instinct is pretty much all one has to go on, so I'll take Oklahoma State to win.

Code Red: That offense is so shiny. OK State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Texas A&M, because I hate black and orange unless it's Halloween. I'd pick OK State were it not for that offensive combination.

USC (3-0) at Arizona State (2-1)

Code Red: Damn you, USC. You escaped my grasp last week, but this week you shall drown in the desert. Well, that doesn't make sense, but AZ State wins.

Iggins!: USC is a very weak 3-0, with a near-loss to Minnesota. I could talk about AZ State being good or something, but... that pretty much says it all. AZ State wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I generally just ignore Arizona sports, so I guess USC.

UNC (3-0) at Georgia Tech (3-0)

Iggins!: The GaTech offense has posted some pretty amazing numbers, and UNC probably won't fully recover from Butch Davis for a few years. GaTech wins.

Code Red: I miss when I would always pick the glorious triple option and your cantankerous ass would refuse to acknowledge it. Now I can't count on GA Tech getting me easy wins. Tech wins.

Mrs. Code Red: 'Cuz I'm a ramblin' wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer.

California (3-0) at Washington (2-1)

Code Red: I know nothing about either of these teams. Seriously, I have no idea who replaced Jake Locker and whether or not Jeff Tedford is still alive and coaching. I'll take California.

Iggins!: Washington has shown some signs of life this year, and Cal has perenially underachieved for about a decade. Washington wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Washington, because it's fun to disagree with you. Plus they were in that one game we really enjoyed that one time.

Code Red: She's referring to the overtime thriller last year between Washington and Oregon State, although she usually thinks it was between Oregon and Oregon State.

Kansas State (2-0) @ Miami FL (1-1)

Iggins!: Remember that Miami lost to Maryland to start the season. What does that say about OSU? This game will come down to the last few minutes but Miami wins.

Code Red: It says that OSU sucks. So does Kansas State, I think, which always has a misleading early season record thanks to Bill Snyder's tendency to schedule the Mid-Central Kansas School for the Blind and other similarly enfeebled opponents. I'll take Miami.

Mrs. Code Red: Miami, the alma mater of my G-reg Olsen and his seventh floor crew.

NC State (2-1) at Cincinnati (2-1)

Code Red: Ye olde coin toss game. Cincy

Iggins!: In a game between the Big East and the ACC you might as well just pick the home team and pray. Cincinnati wins.

Mrs. Code Red: This is a tough one. They both seem so insignificant. I'll go with NC State because I don't really care for colleges named after cities instead of states. It's pretentious.

Notre Dame (1-2) @ Pittsburgh (2-1)

Iggins!: Pitt is going to come out filled with an epic rage after being VANDENBERGED (this is a word) and will cause at least 4 suicide deaths in Indiana. Pittsburgh wins.

Code Red: Iggins! just wants something to validate his Hawkeyes win over a lackluster Pitt team. Notre Dame's offense is very explosive. Pitt's is not. Notre Dame wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Pittsburgh, because even though it's pretentious to name a university after your city, nobody is more pretentious than Notre Dame.

Saints 30, Bears 13- Outclassed.

2011-09-19T21:39:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the late recap, folks. I was on the road most of yesterday, so I've had time to exhale before putting this together. I'm not going to do a good/bad. The good was the under-utilized Matt Forte (at least as a runner, anyway) and the fact that Jay Cutler survived in one piece. The bad was everything else, but especially Major Wright (YOU CANNOT COMMIT THE CARDINAL SIN OF LETTING A MAN GET BEHIND YOU IN THE COVER 2, MAJOR), the injuries (Earl's bruised sternum should heal soon, but the worse injury, Carimi's, could take up to a month), the return of Frank F*&king Omiyale, and most of all, Mike Martz. The rest of this recap will consist solely of my rant about Mike, so if you aren't interested feel free to move on.

I thought we were past this, Mike. I thought you'd learned the value of Matt Forte, runningback. Hell, yesterday's game started off with a beautiful 87 yard drive that was pretty much entirely Forte running his ass off. Alas, the rest of the game played out much like the Seahawks game during last year's regular season. Clearly, Mike panics when he's confronted with a team down by a mere 6 points, because much as Mike abandoned the run and had a 47-14 ratio in that game when down just 7 points for much of the game, he abandoned a running game that was averaging FIVE YARDS PER CARRY while he was down just 16-10.

I know the sack totals have been ugly for both games, but the offensive line, at least while Carimi was in, wasn't bad. They've generally held up well. There've been some lapses, and some plays where Jay held the ball too long, but since the beginning of the preseason they've been clearing holes in the run game and that's opened up everything else. Why did Mike just go the hell away from it? The breakdown came in the second half after the offensive line was forced to stand up to blitzes of six or even seven rushers on dropback after dropback while Mike stubbornly refused to do what the Saints were daring him to do and run the ball. Obviously Mike went in convinced that he could pass on that secondary and do what Green Bay did, and he thought that the screens he had dialed up would be good enough to slow down the rush. When the screens didn't work, he had nothing and he refused to admit it.

We've seen this movie before. The only way it ends well is if Martz runs the ball. He doesn't have to cut the playbook down like last year. The line is better than it was. I still believe that. They can block for five and seven step drops, especially if Roy Williams and Earl Bennett get back and do a better job of finding holes and getting separation, something that Devin and Johnny failed to do yesterday. But the only way they can do that is if Mike takes some of the teeth out of the blitz by making teams pay on the ground. He has a back that can do it, and whatever liabilities this line may have in pass protection, they have the sheer size to run it. Just do it. It's not that hard, and it might keep your quarterback alive.

Prognostication Bukakke, NFL Week 2

2011-09-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

Bears (1-0) @ Saints (0-1)

Code Red: The Saints defense looked terrible, even if it was the Packers. I know Aaron Rodgers can put up 42 points on a lot of teams, but Matt Hasselbeck can't, and those are the last two Qbs who have faced the Saints and done just that. Plus, Breesus is going to have a rough go against that Bears defensive line. Luckily he has the intangibles of Olin Kreutz to pick his ass up off the ground. Bears win.

Iggins!: Incredibly, the Bears are still getting little respect, with the media focusing on Atlanta being bad rather than Chicago being good. Does that make any sense? The Falcons offense could only have gotten better! Surprisingly, the most stalwart part of the Bear defense was the Pass D (most of Ryan's yards came after the game was won) and that bodes well against the Saints, plus that Saint defense can't stop anything. Bears win. As a side note, I live in Des Moines, IA, and it seems that everything East of here and West of here will show the Bears game on Sunday... but Des Moines will show the Packers. GODDAMNIT.

Mrs. Code Red: Bears, because they're the f*&king Bears, and because I've come around to the idea of not rooting against them just to get ahead in this.

Code Red: Amen.

Raiders (1-0) @ Bills (1-0)

Iggins!: A battle of mighty unbeatens! I'll take the Bills to win at home here and shake my head quizically as it happens.

Code Red: I was impressed by the Bills, but more so by a fierce Raiders pass rush that should be able to get to Ryan Fitzpatrick. Raiders win.

Mrs. Code Red: Raiders, because their defense looked pretty solid.

Browns (0-1) @ Colts (0-1)

Code Red: One of these teams sucked like it was supposed to in week one, the other suffered a huge letdown against the Bengals. I'm going to assume the Colts can't stop Peyton Hillis. Browns win.

Iggins!: I don't understand the Browns very well, but what I do understand is that they only play well against great teams, so Colts win.

Mrs. Code Red: Poor Colts, they deserve a win, don't they? Colts.

Code Red: They've had enough of them. This shit's funny. Learn to acquire the schadenfreude gland, honey.

Bucs (0-1) @ Vikings (0-1)

Iggins!: The Bucs threw the ball 43 times Sunday. They ran it 16. I predict the Bucs will understand why they barely moved the ball against Detroit and will win this game. Bucs win.

Code Red: Bucs, because Minnesota blows, and the only thing Tampa did well last week was stop the run.

Mrs. Code Red: Bucs, because I want the Vikings to lose.

Packers (1-0) @ Carolina (0-1)

Code Red: Well, either Arizona's pass defense is absolutely atrocious (quite possible) or I'm way wrong on Cam Newton. Well, Cam, if you're going to throw for a billion yards, do it against the Packers. I'm not crazy enough to pick them, though. Packers win.

Iggins!: I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS GAME, DES MOINES. Could I possibly, finally, be right about a QB that Red was wrong about? I'll save my gloating for after the season. Packers win.

Mrs. Code Red: Packers. I don't feel an explanation is necessary.

Code Red: It's really not.

Seattle (0-1) @ Pittsburgh (0-1)

Iggins!: The Seahawks here will play the role of Ty Cobb's wife after a bad game. Pittsburgh abuses.

Code Red: Indeed. Tarvaris Jackson is a crime against football itself. Pittsburgh wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Even though I usually like Seattle teams for their uniforms, I gotta face the facts at some point that none of them are very good. Steelers win.

Jags (1-0) @ Jets (1-0)

Code Red: Well, I don't expect that Luke McCown will be enough to get past a defense much better than Tennessee's. Jets win.

Iggins!: If the Jets traded for Luke McCown I would probably take them to win the Super Bowl, oddly. Jets win.

Mrs. Code Red: Jets, I don't really know why. The Jaguars are really boring. You never hear anything about them, I don't think I've ever even seen them on TV.

Code Red: No one has, actually. Not even in Jacksonville.

Ravens (1-0) @ Titans (0-1)

Iggins!: HAHAHA oh my this is going to be painful. Ravens win.

Code Red: Ravens.

Mrs. Code Red: Ravens. Again, no explanation necessary.

Chiefs (0-1) @ Lions (1-0)

Code Red: Well, the Chiefs got destroyed by the Bills. That doesn't bode well against a pretty decent (yet overrated) Lions squad. However, I want LIONS FEVER to die down soon, so I will take a chance on a Chiefs redemption. Chiefs win.

Iggins!: I will say this; Jamaal Charles will keep it close, but the Lions win in the end.

Mrs. Code Red: The Chiefs looked like absolute shit last week. Lions win.

Cardinals (1-0) @ Redskins (1-0)

Iggins!: This game will answer questions about 4 different teams. I will answer them beforehand for you: Yes, the Giants are that bad. Yes, Cam Newton is a freak of nature. No, Rex Grossman still sucks. No, the Cardinal defense isn't THAT bad. Cardinals win.

Code Red: My heart wants to choose the Sexy Rexy, but I just can't buy the Redskins yet. Cardinals win.

Mrs. Code Red: My heart can. Do yo' thang, Sexy Rexy! Redskins win.

Cowboys (0-1) @ 49ers (1-0)

Code Red: The 49ers got two special teams touchdowns to beat the Seahawks, but I just checked, and the Cowboys starting QB is not Tarvaris Jackson. Cowboys win.

Iggins!: Oh yeah, make no mistake, the 49ers are still terrible. Cowboys win.

Mrs. Code Reds: If Tony Romo can get his shit together this should be no problem. Cowboys win.

Bengals (1-0) @ Broncos (0-1)

Iggins!: I do not trust the Bengals to be anything more than the worst team in the NFL. Broncos win.

Code Red: My gut, too, tells me to go with Kyle Orton. Broncos win.

Mrs. Code Red: I too, shall trust Kyle Orton and the Broncos, even if they don't start Tim Tebow. (SARCASM). Broncos win.

Chargers (1-0)@ Patriots (1-0)

Code Red: The Chargers generally play the Patriots pretty tough, and I have nothing but spite and malice for New England. Chargers win.

Iggins!: So the Chargers almost lost to the Vikings... and they always start slow...2+2 equals Patriots win.

Mrs. Code Red: WELKAH! Patriots.

Code Red: Sigh. Her father is from Boston. The Masshole escapes sometimes. It's a work in progress.

Texans (1-0) @ Dolphins (0-1)

Iggins!: I liked what I saw from the Fins a lot (Brady can do that to a lot of teams) especially on offense. Henne has improved and is playing within himself, Reggie Bush looked like he was playing with more tenacity than he ever has in the NFL, and the defense won't be that bad again. I think the Dolphins win by a point.

Code Red: Every year you have to find some way to talk yourself into thinking a mediocre team is more than that. Last year it was the Titans. Now it's the Dolphins. I'm going with Schaub. Texans win.

Mrs. Code Red: Iggins!, Henne is one of the main reasons they didn't win. THROW TO BRANDON MARSHALL IN THE RED ZONE DAMMIT. Also, I refuse to believe I paid 67 dollars for Arrian Foster for no reason. Texans win.

Code Red: The Mrs. is also trying fantasy football this year for the first time, so you can tell from the preceding statements that her opening weekend went splendidly.

Eagles (1-0) @ Falcons (0-1)

Code Red: Its early in the season, so spite and malice are tainting all of my picks. Vick had a ton of yards rushing, but the 14/32 line passing makes me think the Old Mike Vick may not be as dead as people want to believe. Philly's O-Line is shaky, and the Falcons defensive ends actually are pretty good. Common sense and everything says Philly, but I'll take the Falcons because I just want them to win.

Iggins!: Vick was sloppy in game one, and something people haven't been talking about is that the Eagles got burned by both Steven Jackson early on and CADILLAC WILLIAMS after that. Turner is going to go nuts and the Falcons D, not to mention the Falcon fans, will get to Vick often. Falcons win.

Mrs. Code Red: Eagles because Michael Vick probably isn't that bad...yet.

Rams (0-1) @ Giants (0-1)

Iggins!: The Giants are very bad. Much worse than previously thought. Rams win and New York gets pissed.

Code Red: I'll flip the coin. Giants it is.

Mrs. Code Red: Rams, I guess. Sam Bradford is adorable.

The Return of Prognostication Bukakke! (Again). NCAA Week 2

2011-09-14T14:00:00.001-05:00

It's back, folks. The weekly feature where I and the reclusive co-founder of SKO, Iggins!, match wits and predict the winner of this week's football games. As usual, we pick the ten best college football games and then predict every NFL game. This year I've also decided to have Mrs. SKO join us for the whole year, as she joined for the last several weeks last year as part of an exercise in which I, already up 25 games on Iggins!, decided to demonstrate that even someone with absolutely minimal football acumen could destroy him. Which she did. I laughed hard, so now I'm bringing her on full time. Without further bullshit, here come the picks:

LSU @ Mississippi State (1-1)

Code Red: Mississippi State really shocked me with their incredibly shoddy defense against Auburn. I'd expect them to right the ship against the Tigers defensively, but LSU's defense is a holy terror. LSU wins.

Iggins!: It's near impossible to pick MSU in this game, which is unfortunate considering how high the expectations were just a week ago. LSU wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Geaux Tigers! LSU wins.

Tennessee (2-0) @ Florida (2-0)

Iggins!: This game is going to be extremely close, but I'll give the edge to Florida here. Florida wins.

Code Red: I don't know that it'll be that close. I think Charlie Weis will really make something out of Jonathan Brantley. Florida wins.

Mrs. Code Red: Florida, because Volunteers is a stupid name and bright orange uniforms are nauseating.

Michigan State (2-0) @ Notre Dame (0-2)

Code Red: Notre Dame has really been a tough luck loser so far, but that doesn't change the fact that they're staring at 0-3. MSU wins.

Iggins!: Damn, I was really hoping you'd take Notre Dame here. Michigan State wins by at least 10 points.

Mrs. Code Red: I actually watched Notre Dame last week. I don't think they can stop anything. MSU wins.

Oklahoma (1-0) @ Florida State (2-0)

Iggins!: I'll trust the ACC when I see it do... anything? Oklahoma wins.

Code Red: God dammit, too much agreement this week. Oklahoma wins.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take Florida State because it's fun to be controversial.

Arizona State (2-0) @ Illinois (2-0)

Code Red: Illinois has looked quite dominant against two shitty teams. Their schedule is really stacked in their favor, as their only tough non-conference opponent has to travel all the way to Champaign. I'm definitely taking my beloved Illini here.

Iggins!: If this were in the desert I would take ASU by a TD, but without that ridiculous home-field advantage versus the midwest, this game plays out in reverse. Illini win by 20.

Mrs. Code Red: Illinois, because....home state loyalty?

Utah (1-1) @ BYU (1-1)

Iggins!: Wow. So this is a game between a Pac-12 school and an independent... not a Mountain West conference game? Neither of these teams is very good, but I'll take BYU to win by a hair.

Code Red: Well, BYU played Texas tough last week, but I want to believe that that's just because Texas sucks. Utah.

Mrs. Code Red: BYU, but they're both losers because I don't like the state of Utah.

Code Red: Seems like an odd state to hate, but if there's anything I approve of, it's unexplained rage.

Stanford (2-0) @ Arizona (1-1)

Code Red: After watching OK State demolish the Wildcats I can't imagine Andrew Luck not doing the same. Stanford wins.

Iggins!: Though I don't think Stanford has a more potent offense than OK State I do think this game will be a win for Stanford.

Mrs. Code Red: Stanford, because Andrew Luck is pretty dreamy.

Code Red: Yes, yes he is.

Syracuse (2-0) @ USC (2-0)

Iggins!: Who the hell scheduled this nightmare? Aren't these two schools about as far apart as possible? USC wins partially due to Syracuse being Syracuse and partially due to massive jetlag.

Code Red: I say Syracuse, because USC's been flirting with disaster and Syracuse is better than people think.

Mrs. Code Red: USC, because they're cheater, cheater, pumpkin eaters. And this is America, so cheaters win.

Code Red: She went third grade on yo ass, Lane Kiffin.

Ohio State (2-0) @ Miami (FL) (0-1)

Code Red: Apparently Miami is plotting to vacate their possible win here later on by starting Jacory Harris. I'm going to with Miami, here, since fucking Toledo's scrambling Qbs gave OSU fits last week.

Iggins!: Jesus you took all my upsets! Miami wins because God hates OSU even more, surprisingly.

Mrs. Code Red: I'll take The Ohio State University, because everyone knows it apparently makes you better than everyone else if you put a "The" in front of your name.

Louisville (1-1) @ Kentucky (2-0)

Iggins!: Kentucky wins. Anybody who watches this game loses.

Code Red: Well, you made this easy on me then. Louisville wins. My eyes can never unsee the ugliness of Kentucky vs. Western Kentucky. They show that game on loop in football hell.

Mrs. Code Red: Do I have to pick one? I know nothing about these teams. I'll take Kentucky since they have the better record? And because I like disagreeing with you.

Week 1 NFL Roundup

2011-09-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

What an amazing opening weekend for football. 14 passers threw for over 300 yards this weekend, the most in a single week in NFL history. Our beloved Bears shocked the NFL by curb-stomping the Falcons, the Packers and the Saints had a shootout for the ages, and some idiots (Iggins!) managed to get knocked out of their suicide pools by picking the Browns over the Bengals. Now for the specifics:

Packers 42, Saints 34
Not to take anything away from Aaron Rodgers, who put on a fucking clinic, but you have to wonder what the hell has gone wrong with Gregg William's scheme to allow Matt Hasselbeck and Rodgers both to shred them in their last two games. Hopefully it keeps up for a week. I liked that the Saints couldn't get pressure with their front four. Martz loves to exploit the blitz.
As for Green Bay, Drew Brees or no, I don't ever remember seeing them look that bad on defense last year. Their special teams coverage remains an issue. Of course they're still the favorites, but there are chinks in the armor somewhere.

Eagles 31, Rams 13
The Eagles are another team with some concerns hidden by their win. They allowed the Rams to average 5.9 yards per rush, and they allowed 3 sacks. Vick completed a paltry 43.8% of his passes for just 5.8 ypa, and given his weak preseason, you have to wonder a bit if his late season issues last year were indicative that perhaps his "improved" passing was actually the byproduct of an incredibly hot streak rather than a complete transformation into a pocket passer. Like the Packers, I certainly wouldn't discount the hype, but you also can't expect them to coast. As for the Rams, well, injuries to Sam Bradford and Steven Jackson have to suck. That division is still garbage, though.

Bills 41, Chiefs 7
Well, nobody saw that coming. I was quite sure the Chiefs were headed down because Haley's an asshole, Matt Cassel is overrated, and they had a pathetically weak schedule last year, but I still didn't expect a massacre at the hands of the Bills. I guess we'll find out this week whether Buffalo's just that much better or Kansas City's that much worse.

Lions 27, Bucs 20
Matt Stafford and the Lions justified the hype for a week, but I still think they're more likely a 7 or 8 win team than a playoff contender. We'll see, though. You win this round, Detroit.

Jaguars 16, Titans 14
Both of these teams suck.

Bengals 27, Browns 17
Apparently, the Browns suck too. Whoda thunk? Oh, you did? Yeah, I guess I kinda did too. I still think the Bengals will end up with the worse record of the two by the end of the year.

Ravens 34, Steelers 7
Holy shit, that was an ass whoopin. It defies logic, but man, Pittsburgh really falls apart the year after they go to a Superbowl. As for the Ravens, if they can have that kind of balance, with Joe Flacco throwing for 288 yards and Ray Rice over 100 on the ground, against the Steelers it makes you wonder who besides maybe New England could stop them in the AFC.

Texans 34, Colts 7
I had my suspicions that the Colts were in trouble this year even with Manning, but man, they're destined for a top five draft pick without him. If the Texans can't win the South this year they should just disband the entire franchise.

Redskins 28, Giants 14
Good Rex made yet another appearance and the Redskins beat the badly ailing Giants. I don't know if they're contenders in the east, but they do appear much improved. I don't think Rex is ever going to be much of a star, but if he's managed to level out his highs and lows under Shanny's tutelage he could certainly have a nice mid-to-late career run as a quality starter, much like Jake Plummer managed to tame himself in Denver in order to put together a couple of playoff appearances. As for the Giants, well..things are looking bleak. Outside of their defensive line I don't see much to be excited about for a team that's already been hit hard by injury.

Chargers 24, Vikings 17
As I mentioned, 14 quarterbacks threw for 300 or more yards this weekend. One of them was Philip Rivers, who appears to be leading the AFC West's best team once more. Donovan McNabb, however, was not, as he managed THIRTY NINE yards for the Vikings. It's going to be a long, long year for Vikings fans.

Cardinals 28, Panthers 21
Oh come on. I wasn't the only one who thought Cam Newton would suck. It could still happen, of course, but damn, he looked dynamic yesterday. On the other hand, that Arizona defense is still a work in progress, even if Kolb looked like the real deal. They'll probably still be good enough to win the West, but they're still a one-sided team at best.

49ers 33, Seahawks 17
Ted Ginn's late game heroics hid the incredibly disgusting performance of offensive football that was most of this game. There was only one offensive play on either side that went for over 27 yards. The NFC West, folks. It still really, really sucks.

Jets 27, Cowboys 24
Tony Romo cost them the game, undoubtedly, but the Cowboys deserved to lose for the shame of allowing Mark Sanchez to throw for over 300 yards against their defense. The Cowboys will be better this year than last, but I don't see them as a much of a Superbowl contender.

Patriots 38, Dolphins 24
Well, at least New England's defense looked like shit? I'll just be glad for now that New England is nowhere to be found on the Bear's schedule this year. Kudos for Chad Henne, though. Most of them were garbage time yards, but he still had a career game. Won't mean anything at all in the long run, but hey, it's a dark time to be a Dolphins fan.

Raiders 23, Broncos 20
Oakland's defensive line was impressive, and Run DMC seems like he's going to stay on the elite tier where he put himself last year. That combination should be enough to keep Oakland in the race against San Diego for awhile. Denver, however, remains in serious trouble. I love Kyle, but the switch away from McDaniels appears to have really hurt him. Denver's taken him out of the spread and he won't have the easy throws that masked his deficiencies over the last two seasons. The fans chanting for Tebow will be sorely disappointed, however, whether they get their wish or not.

College Football Round Up

2011-09-12T11:15:00.003-05:00

Sorry I skipped week one, but most of those games were meaningless anyway, so this week I'm rolling out all of the regular features: the college football roundup (generally Mondays), the NFL roundup (Tuesdays), and the Prognostication Bukakke (Wednesday and Thursday if I don't get lazy). So let's begin with this year's first NCAAF roundup:

Notable Top 25 Games-

#9 Oklahoma State 37, Arizona 14.
This game wasn't even as close as it looked. There might eventually be some noticeable drop-off in this offense thanks to the loss of coordinator Dana Holgorsen and runningback Kendall Hunter after last year, but as long as they have Brandon Weeden and Justin Blackmon they'll remain an elite offense and a serious threat to Oklahoma's title hopes, both Big 12 and National.

#21 Missouri 30, Arizona State 37
Words cannot express how glad I am that Arizona State has to leave the desert and come to Champaign this week. Bad things just seem to happen to midwest schools that head out west. That said, I think Missouri was a bit overrated coming into this year and I feel confident that Arizona State's offense can be contained at home.

#16 Mississippi State 34, Auburn 41
A big surprise here. I'm not shocked that Gus Malzahn has figured out a way to put up points without Cam Newton, but I am shocked that Mississippi State's typically stellar defense fell apart so easily. I have no idea what to expect from either of these teams from here on out.

#11 Virginia Tech 17, East Carolina 10
East Carolina is probably one of the best 0-2 teams in the country, considering they've given South Carolina and Virginia Tech huge scares the last two weeks. They have a phenomenal QB in Domonique Douglass. As for VT, their chances this year really hinge on new QB Logan Thomas, who came in with a lot of hype, but he's looked like garbage so far.

#12 South Carolina 45, Georgia 42
Poor Mark Richt. I've always liked him. He's totally fired, but he seems like such a nice guy.

#24 Texas 17, BYU 16.
Must be nice to be Texas. They've been declining in nearly all phases since Vince Young left, but no one noticed until Colt McCoy wasn't there to patch up the holes. Then ESPN gives them a TV network and people rank them anyway, despite no certifiable offense to speak of.

Big Ten-

Michigan State 44, FAU 0
Poor Schnelly.

Illinois 56, South Dakota State 3
I'm so happy Illinois has learned to schedule non-conference games like a real team. Illinois' schedule is set up quite favorably for them to make enough noise to get to a January 1st bowl game, hopefully.

#8 Wisconsin 35, Oregon State 0
The whole Russell Wilson thing seems to be working out well.

#3 Alabama 27, #23 Penn State 11
I'm not discussing this game for the unsurprising final score (although Alabama's QB issues will haunt them somewhere down the road), but I'm wondering what the hell Penn State had done to have earned a ranking before last week. They were incredibly mediocre last year, got destroyed in their bowl game, have no QB or offense of any kind, and a rebuilding defense. There are several teams I'd rank in the Big Ten alone before I got to PSU. Oh well.

#15 Ohio State 27, Toledo 22
Toledo's not a terrible MAC team, but the fact that they shut down Ohio State's offense and put a lot of pressure on their defense should be very concerning for Buckeye fans. Ohio State is now forced to field the third incarnation of Craig Krenzel, Joel Bauserman, and each incarnation seems to get worse (see Todd Boeckman). They're not going to be able to just coast by on their defense and run game in the Big Ten this year. This team's set up for a fall.

Iowa State 44, Iowa 41
I watched this game live with Iggins!, and it was awesome as he fatalistically predicted every single Iowa State score. His first quarter prophecy that "Iowa would lose because they can't stop a running quarterback...ever" was square on the nose. Not looking like a good year for the Hawkeyes.

Rice 24, Purdue 22
There are so many horrible forms of torture in this world, from waterboarding to The Rack, that I would consider before willfully watching Purdue football at this point.

Nex Mexico State 28, Minnesota 21
I'm not at all surprised that it's taken two games of coaching Minnesota football to give Jerry Kill a seizure. New Mexico State? Their last bowl came during the Eisenhower Administration. No joke.

Northwestern 42, Eastern Illinois 21
Yeah, that sounds right.

Virginia 34, Indiana 31
Well, Indiana is still terrible. So there's that. You want awesome? Illinois gets Purdue, Indiana, and Minnesota. Give me my Capitol One Bowl, please.

#10 Nebraska 42, Fresno State 29
Fresno State is just a giant pain in the ass.

Michigan 35, Notre Dame 31
Both of these teams have just god awful defenses. Michigan is incredibly inconsistent on offense, and I don't think a lot of teams are going to allow this watered-down version of Denard Robinson to put up 330+ yards passing on just 11 completions. Glad to see that we definitely won't have to listen to any "wake up the echoes!" bullshit this year from the Domers.

That's all for now. See you tomorrow for the NFL roundup.

Bears 30, Falcons 12-Mother. F*&king. Football.

2011-09-11T18:59:00.002-05:00

That was the best opening day win the Bears have had in my lifetime. The Bears dominated in all three phases in one of their most impressive wins, period, in years, but one that looks especially good for an opener. There were some sloppy penalties, and the five sacks, while misleading, weren't great, but other than that this is going to be one happy breakdown:

The Good:
-Jay Cutler: Given the painful memories we all had of the last time Jay Cutler played a meaningful game at Soldier Field, it seems fitting to put him first since had a spectacular game. There were some tipped passes, including the one that Bierrmann made an incredible play on for the INT TD, and he should have thrown the ball away on three of the five sacks he took, but outside of that he played one of his best games as a Bear, if not ever. For the day he finished 22/32 (68.8%) for 312 yds (9.8 YPA) 2 TDs, 1 INT, and a 107.8 rating. Those are stellar and they really showed just how comfortable he's getting in this offense and just how dangerous he can be downfield when he's got time to scan the field.

-Matt Forte: He had a tough going on the ground early on, but finished with a respectable 4.3 avg (16 rushes for 68 yds) but, much like last year's opener, made his big damage through the air with 5 receptions for 90 yds and a TD. I like this team's chances if he's going to put up 158 yards from scrimmage weekly.

-Roy Williams: Roy made the first catch of the game and finished with 4 catches for 55 yds. Not a dominating performance, but impressive in that all four catches were for big first downs. He doesn't have to get 1,000 yds to justify his status on this team, he just needs to be a target Cutler can find to move the chains consistently. He was today.

-Devin Hester: 3 catches for 60 yards, with one very long reception leading to a touchdown.

-Johnny Knox: Knox, like Hester, had 3 catches for 60 yds. Four different receivers had over 50 yards today, a good sign of the depth this team has and the weapons Jay can utilize if he has time.

-Brian Urlacher: Oh man, this is the kind of game that reminds us all just why I get so angry when people say Urlacher is overrated. 10 tackles, 1 INT, and a fumble returned for a TD that absolutely broke the Falcon's back. Stay healthy, Brian.

-Henry Melton: My pick for the most improved player on this defense has been Henry all offseason. He's a bit undersized for a DT, but he has a quickness and violence to him that reminds me of John Randle. He had 2 sacks today and was a total menace.

-Julius Peppers: You know all about this guy, of course. He only had 2 sacks, a pass deflection, and a fumble recovery. No big deal.

-The rest of the defensive line: 5 sacks on Matt Ryan. They had consistent gap penetration all game long. The Falcons run game was mostly held in check outside of the 53 yard run and Matt Ryan had one hell of a time once he was forced to drop back on every down. Some idiot will find a way to criticize all of the yards the defense gave up, but Lovie-ball worked to perfection and the only numbers I know the Bears or anyone should care about are the 5 sacks, the 3 turnovers, and the 6 points allowed by the defense.

-Charles Tillman: He takes a lot of shit from the fans for playing how he's supposed to play in this defense, but today they had him playing tight on Roddy White very early on and he fucking owned him holding him to 61 yds on the day (just 7.6 yards per catch) and he had yet another of his glorious punches to force a fumble. Someday, when P'nut is retired, they need to build a statue of him just punching a football through the air.

The Bad:

Penalties: Too damn many (eight), along with some missed tackles. Perfectly acceptable opening day mistakes, but they'd best tighten things up soon. Winning the turnover battle 3-1 really helps.

Webb/Carimi: They actually held their own pretty well against two very good edge rushers in John Abraham and Ray Edwards (21 combined sacks last yr), but there were enough breakdowns and two holding penalties that really hurt. As I said, Cutler should have thrown the ball away on two of his sacks as he had plenty of time, and on the last sack of the game Cutler simply slid on what wasn't really a sack so much as a run for no gain, so they really only allowed 2 bad sacks, but you have to hope for some improvement primarily in the penalty department.

Matt Ryan: That was the weakest 319 yard game I've ever seen. The Falcons got destroyed by the Packers passing game in the playoffs and apparently decided they needed to get Julio Jones to compensate. Ryan made that look even dumber but not even attempting to go downfield until the game was well out of hand. He finished with an average of 6.8 YPA and a rating of 76.5 on 47 attempts, but was sacked five times and had a fumble that led to a huge Bears score. I've been saying for awhile I didn't think he'd ever be much more than an overrated game manager. Today he sure didn't prove me wrong.

That's all for now. I haven't been this jazzed after an opener since 2006. Hopefully this season has even more fun in store for us than that one. You all have a good night. Go Bears.

Also, I'm not not one for moralizing here, so I'll just say on the 10th anniversary of that horrible day....God Bless America.

Your 2011 Chicago Bears (and, Fuck Yeah, Brandon Meriweather)

2011-09-06T12:19:00.004-05:00

Apparently I'm not supposed to be excited about the Bears acquisition of Brandon Meriweather because A) He's an asshole and B) BILL BELICHICK IS TOO SMART TO GET RID OF SOMEONE GOOD. Well, as far as the asshole thing goes they've told me for two years that my franchise quarterback is a cancer and I'm still pretty fond of him. As for B, I'd like anyone to look at the following players who left the Patriot organization and were still productive players for several years: Lawyer Milloy. Ty Law. Asante Samuel. Willie McGinest. Drew Bledsoe. Richard Seymour.

I have a hard time believing that Brandon Meriweather is suddenly a shitty player, unless there's a medical reason for it. If he passes a physical I have a hard time seeing where he's just going to disappear. At the very least, he's one hell of an insurance plan for Major Wright. That should be good news for everyone involved.

That said, it's time for my half-assed preview of the 2011 Bears. I never get much into previews since I spend the whole offseason talking about what I expect, so none of this is really new information. Anywho, let's start with the 53 man roster broken down by position:

Starters in italics-
Offense (24):
QB: #6 Jay Cutler, #12 Caleb Hanie, #10 Nathan Enderle
RB: #22 Matt Forte, #24 Marion Barber, #32 Kahlil Bell, #44 Will Ta'ufo'ou.
WR: #11 Roy Williams, #23 Devin Hester, #80 Earl Bennett, #13 Johnny Knox, #81 Sam Hurd, #18 Dane Sanzenbacher
TE: #87 Kellen Davis, #89 Matt Spaeth, #86 Kyle Adams
OT: #73 J'Marcus Webb, #72 Gabe Carimi, #68 Frank Omiyale,
OG: #60 Lance Louis, #74 Chris Williams, #70 Edwin Williams
C: #63 Roberto Garza, #67 Chris Spencer

Defense (26):
DE: #90 Julius Peppers, #71 Israel Idonije, #96 Mario Addison, #98 Corey Wootton, #94 Nick Reed
DT: #95 Anthony Adams, #69 Henry Melton, #91 Amobi Okoye, #92 Stephen Paea, #75 Matt Toeaina
OLB: #55 Lance Briggs, #53 Nick Roach, #52 Brian Iwuh
MLB: #54 Brian Urlacher, #58 Dom DeCicco
CB: #33 Charles Tillman, #26 Tim Jennings, #30 DJ Moore, #35 Zack Bowman, #21 Corey Graham
S: #46 Chris Harris, #27 Major Wright, #31 Brandon Meriweather, #47 Chris Conte, #20 Craig Steltz, #49 Winston Venable

Specialists (3):
K: #9 Robbie Gould
P: #8 Adam Podlesh
LS: #65 Pat Mannelly

There's a few surprises with the final roster cutdown. I'm still surprised the team is so thin at backup linebacker, and I'd expect at some point they'll find someone and cut DeCicco. Until then, congrats to the rookie. I'm pleased that Martz finally broke down and admitted his offense Does use a fullback and kept one accordingly. I was sad to see Dez Clark go, but Kyle Adams played very well this preseason. Of course, everyone's thrilled to see that Gritty McGrindenwhitey made the roster as a sixth wide receiver, but I'm not sure who he's going to take meaningful reps away from, because I doubt he's a better receiver than Williams, Hester, Knox, or the BBE. Probably a smart move that the team has a billion safeties, since that position always seems to suffer attrition, plus Chris Conte has experience at corner if needed.

On offense this year I'd expect vast improvement. It's dangerous to take too much away from the stellar pass blocking we saw in the last three preseason games, but there's a lot to like about the infusion of size and youth on this offensive line. I think you'll see a much more successful running game from the outset, with the pass blocking to come. The wide receiver corps is undoubtedly upgraded, Marion Barber should be so much better than Chester Taylor that it isn't funny, and the tight ends appear to be capable blockers, which is all anyone will ask of them this year. I'd be willing to stake everything on the 2011 Bears scoring more points than the 2010 edition.

On defense, I'm incredibly psyched about this defensive line. The only sure-fire star may be Peppers, but I don't think there are many teams out there that can bring in fresh, quality bodies at both end and tackle like this team can. There are quality run-stuffers in Anthony Adams, Paea, and Idonije, and young, fast legs that can help on third and long in Okoye, Wootton (assuming he's healthy), Melton, and Toeiana. I'm not sure what to expect from Mario Addison and Nick Reed, but they both had great preseasons and Addison racked up double digit sacks last year at Troy.

Lance Briggs may be a heaping pile of douche, but the linebacking corps should be just as solid as last year if it stays healthy. The safety position may have been upgraded if Meriweather gets up to speed quickly. Corner remains a concern, but if the other units are as good as I hope it shouldn't be too much of a concern since cornerbacks are the sacrificial lambs of Lovie's defense anyway.

I expect good things from this team, but you already know that. I hope you agree with me. It's been another long and painful offseason and everyone and their mother would have you know that the Bears were just a lucky team and that they're screwed this year thanks to the presence of the unstoppable Packers and the ascending Lions. Well, fuck that. Actual football games are about to start, so the meaningless predictions stop here. I'll see you all on Sunday.

Go Bears.

UPDATE: Two seconds after I praise Martz for keeping a fullback, he waives him. There's an open roster spot for now INTRIGUE.

Bears-Titans Notes

2011-08-27T22:22:00.003-05:00

The third preseason game is in the books, and the information that can be gleaned from the 2 1/1 quarters played by the Bears starters is promising:

The Good:

- Matt Forte- Last week Matt was devastating in the screen game, and this week he dominated between the tackles. Forte ran hard between the tackles (where he was helped by some huge holes) and was awesome on draw plays and the inside zone. He finished with 17 carries for 74 yards and a TD (4.4 yards per carry) and added a 15 yard reception. He's more than ready for the regular season, and it was pleasing to see Martz design a largely successful game plan around him tonight. Now pay the man, Jerry.

-Earl Bennett- The BBE was huge again tonight with 6 receptions for 89 yards. While the appellation I gave him mostly refers to his sure hands and his reliability on third down, it should be noted that Earl can get downfield when he's asked to and has been a pretty good deep threat this preseason as well.

-Amobi Okoye- The defensive tackle has seized his opportunity and at this point, after three preseason sacks, has to be a lock for the roster, if not the starting lineup. He's certainly a threat on passing downs, something the team has desperately needed at the 3-technique for the last couple of years during the Tommie Harris decline.

-The offensive line- They were exceptional in run blocking tonight, giving Forte some holes (especially on draw plays) that he's probably never seen before. In pass protection they allowed some pressure off of the edges but still allowed just 1 sack and have really allowed Martz and Cutler to work the seven step game. I'm beginning to breathe a little bit. So far they've been pretty stout against four man rushes, which is great. If team's have to blitz to generate pressure, Martz's offense will click and he'll be able to scheme to get the ball to the free receiver. Last year teams didn't even have to bring an extra guy to get to Jay.

-Jay Cutler- Jay was damn near perfect tonight, even if the stat sheet shows a mediocre 67 rating. His only interception was clearly Roy Williams fault (more on Roy later) as it went off both of Roy's hands into the hands of the defense. Other than that, Cutler was accurate (13 of 21, despite 2-3 drops yet again) and, more importantly, he was effective downfield (averaged 8.1 YPA, 13.1 YPC) and he wasn't sacked a single time. Over his last four full quarters in these two preseason games Jay is 25 of 42 (60%) for 341 yards (8.1 YPA, 13.6 YPC) despite his receivers struggles in the drop department (Hester had 2 tonight, as did Roy Williams, to go with 4 last week). Jay was extremely quick with his decisions tonight and stared down the blitz quite well. My obvious homerism notwithstanding, I think he's going to do some very special things in year two of this system. You can only draw so much from the preseason, but the velocity and accuracy Cutler has shown (and the protection he's got) bodes well, considering everything looked awry during last year's bumbling preseason and the up-and-down offense of the first half bore out those results. There's no guarantees, but it's promising to see him look so sharp early.

The Bad:

- Roy Williams: I'm level-headed,normally. I've defended this move from every rational standpoint, and still do, considering this was an extremely low-risk, high-reward move, but Jesus, Roy Williams could try not to piss on himself for one fucking series or something. He caused Cutler's interception, he went out of bounds before completing the catch on another throw, then he had a second drop. He's also looked terrible blocking this preseason, so there's that. I hope he pans out, but damn, you're not making this easy, Roy.

-Desmond Clark: Dez himself did nothing wrong, but the fact that he had to be carted off gives me the sads. He was going to be no more than a back up this year, so this doesn't kill the team, but Dez has always been a solid player and a great guy (as far as anyone can tell with any of these guys) and it would suck to see the team bring him back just to see this happen.

-Marion Barber: Same here. Marion played well on his two touches, but his calf injury is concerning. If he's not healthy, that may mean more Chester Taylor, which causes my blood to boil. Considering Chester didn't get any carries tonight it seems more likely that the team will roll with Khalil Bell until Marion gets healthy and they'll still cut Chester, but, damn, it would suck to have Barber out for long after how good he's looked so far.

That's all for now. I've been pleased with what I've seen from the first teams on offense and defense so far these last two games. I think they're going to be just fine by the time Atlanta comes to Soldier Field. Meanwhile, enjoy hearing about how awesome the Lions are.

Good News Everyone!

2011-08-26T12:06:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow night is the Bears third preseason game against the Tennessee Titans. Since this is a game of utmost importance we will treat it like a real game, with the first official SKOscast of the year. Meet us in the SKO shoutbox on Saturday at seven, and we'll all verbally harass Roy Williams together. See ya then, folks.

Bears-Giants Observations

2011-08-23T12:34:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen too many people overreacting to a 41-13 preseason blowout (a somewhat misleading score, since the Bears racked up a healthy 414 yards of offense and had the edge in time of possession), so I'm happy about that, although maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. There were some interesting things to take out of the first half, however (where the score was 13-6 before the starting defense, which was without Lance Briggs to begin with, left the game). Here's my observations:

The Good:

- Matt Forte didn't carry the ball much, since the team seems interested in protecting him from injury with the contract dispute still up in the air, but he looked very effective in the screen game, a huge component of what Martz likes to do to negate the pass rush.

-Earl Bennett (The Black Bobby Engram). 'Nuff said.

-The First-Team Defense: They forced three and outs on the Giants first two drives and held the Giants to 13 pts despite being victimized by poor field position (especially after a 73 yard kickoff return that preceded the only TD they allowed. They held Eli Manning to 78 yards on 16 attempts for a meager 4.9 YPA. All in all, good work by the first team unit, which is good, since the second team unit spent 2 1/2 quarters shitting all over themselves.

- Jay Cutler: 12 of 21 for 171 yards in one half (8.1 YPA, 14.5 YPC) is pretty solid for an exhibition game where Martz was clearly testing his ability to work the 7 step route tree against a tough pass rush, but the numbers are actually even better when you consider he suffered from four dropped passes (one of which cost him a TD pass) and Hester also fell down on what would have been a wide-open TD pass. The one sack of the game was his fault and he needs to do a better job of throwing the ball away, but I was very pleased with the vast improvement from last week.

- The offensive line: 1 sack (that wasn't even their fault). Very promising. The two false starts and the hold were concerning, but that'll happen given the youth on the line. The important thing is that they kept Cutler clean. If mental mistakes are the biggest problem, this line is definitely improved from last year.

The Bad:

- Roy Williams: I'm willing to give the Roy Williams Experiment some time, especially since Johnny Knox is still there in the wings as insurance, but man, Roy did himself no favors last night. He dropped two third down passes from Cutler, looked terrible blocking for Forte on the screen and seemed to be lagging behind elsewhere. Good luck, Roy, because the fans are out for blood in Chicago.

-The Second-String Defense: Well, that was hideous. Oh well. You can only hope to contain David Carr, not stop him.

-The Special Teams: Very rare to see a Dave Toub unit get torched like this. A 73 yard kick return and a blocked punt? Surprising, but such a rarity that I wouldn't be concerned, although it did contribute to the misleadingly-lopsided score.

-Eli Manning: I just don't like looking at him.

That's all for now. See ya Saturday night. Go Bears.

Overreact Much, David Haugh?

2011-08-18T09:33:00.003-05:00

Ahh. Do you smell it? It's time for the first fisking of the summer. David Haugh wants Mike Martz to know that he's not happy about the demotion of Caleb Hanie that didn't actually happen, since Martz said Caleb will be the #2 at the start of the season barring injury. Anywho, you know the drill: Haugh's in italics, I'm not.

Almost singlehandedly, Mike Martz has all but stopped Caleb "Hania" from spreading throughout Kankakee County this summer.

Other things that have stopped Caleb Hania:
1. It's a stupid term
2. He's the back up quarterback.
3. No, seriously, he's the back up quarterback.

It seems the Bears offensive coordinator has spent more time in the backup quarterback's head this month than his own dorm room. As a result, Hanie's confidence evacuated. His consistency scattered.

See, what Haugh is going to argue here is that Hanie is playing poorly because Martz doesn't believe in him. This is actually a good stance to argue, because Martz is thus always wrong, even if Martz is actually criticizing Hanie because...you know, he's playing poorly.

Suddenly the Bears have to be careful handling Hanie, who finds his career at a crossroads out here in corn country.

Indeed, if the Bears aren't careful with Caleb here, he may end up nothing more than a back up quarterback.

"I haven't played as well as I wanted, especially (Saturday),'' Hanie admitted Wednesday.

But Martz shouldn't criticize him for that. Or something. What's a coach for again?

So began the preseason's most ridiculous and avoidable controversy when Hanie didn't exactly look like a million bucks — or the $1.2 million for which the Bears signed him. He struggled, only flashing hints of the play-making ability that made him notable in the NFC Championship game.

It's ridiculous and avoidable for 2 reasons: it's a back up quarterback, and it doesn't exist. He didn't get as many reps during ONE DAY of practice. The depth chart never changed any point.

But if the first exhibition game means so little, why did Martz make Hanie watch fifth-round rookie Nathan Enderle replace him as the No. 2 quarterback the next practice? Why create a problem with a guy who clearly must be part of the solution?

Because it was just for one practice. He also stated he was rewarding Enderle (who was 7 of 10 for 110 yards) by giving him some more reps. This is called "building a young QB's confidence", note this, since David Haugh is supposedly all for it.

This is how you stunt the growth of a promising young quarterback, how you kill confident Caleb. This is when you are supposed to build Hanie up rather than tear him down, one subtle, psychological move at a time.

This is how you expose David Haugh as a f&%king hypocrite. Here's Haugh in a piece last year:

I have doubts Martz can. Martz has made a career out of designing ways to make quarterbacks pile up big numbers. What he has done mostly with Cutler is enlarge his ego. End the bro-mance. A struggling, self-destructive quarterback doesn't need to hear how brilliant he is. He needs to be threatened with his job if he throws four picks again.

So, when the young QB is Caleb Hanie, Martz needs to go out of his way to protect his fragile ego. When it's Jay Cutler or Nathan Enderle? F*&k those guys, man, this is a results business.

Like most young quarterbacks, Hanie has flaws. He needs to economize his body movement when setting his feet and learn how to use his vision more effectively. He has to unload the ball quicker. He is far from beyond criticism.

That criticism just shouldn't come from Mike Martz, apparently. David Haugh will be the arbiter of when, who, how, and why should be criticized under the Lovie Smith regime.

But Hanie possesses a knack for making plays, a quality that turned him into Mr. August every training camp before this one. Those traits resurfaced Wednesday in a solid practice, the same instincts that carried Hanie in a playoff performance that apparently impressed everybody in Chicago but Martz.

He also has a knack for throwing the ball to defensive tackles. I love Caleb, I really do, but he's in no way an established player. In his career he's completed 21 of 34 passes (61.7%) for 219 yards (6.4 YPA), 1 TD, and 3 INTs (including the playoff game, of course) and a 53.4 rating. None of those numbers are going to blow anybody's mind. He's proven nothing other than that he's a promising back up quarterback. The key thing to remember here is that Martz Hasn't demoted Caleb. Also, we have no idea whether Nathan Enderle could possibly be better. Martz may want to find out. That's a pretty novel concept. Last year we all criticized Mike for going with the shitty, established veteran over the young guy. Now we're criticizing him for at least seeing what the younger guy can do with a few more reps? Ridiculous.

Also, according to everyone but David Haugh, Caleb looked abysmal in that practice and threw three interceptions, following a poor preseason performance and five interceptions the week before in practice.

Martz inherited Hanie but he has to stop inhibiting him. Keep doubting a quarterback and eventually his tentative play will prove a coach right. But throw support behind a guy through adversity and often that faith is rewarded.

Always support your quarterback, Martz. Don't criticize him. But don't build up his ego, either. Maybe even make up some rumors about trading him for Donovan McNabb. Either way, Caleb Hanie needs to know there will be consequences if he plays poorly. No, wait. That's Jay Cutler. Caleb needs the bromance that you're not supposed to have with Jay, or something. I don't know. Why the hell does David Haugh get paid for this?

Hell Yes, It's College Football Ranking Time

2011-08-17T07:49:00.003-05:00

College football season is now just fifteen days away. The two week mark is about the time when I begin to wake up, realize that I have absolutely no reason to even acknowledge baseball anymore, and get ready for the five months that make life worth living. It's also time for me to release my annual authoritative college football rankings. I say authoritative because I have about as much relevance as the Harris Poll, which I'm still convinced is voted on by a sinister cabal of insane Nazis, and because hell, I probably do more research. Mostly of this sort:

That is Phil Steele's annual college football preview and it is nothing short of the work of the Gods, given only to those humans wise enough to listen. If you think I haven't relentlessly scanned all 328 pages of this tome, well, you don't understand me at all. I'm fully prepared to declare the North Texas Mean Green as a potential Sun Belt sleeper. Do not trifle with me.

With that said, most people only give a shit about the top 10 (okay maybe you care about the top 25, but that's a lot of freaking work) and I'm sure most of the people reading this here site are Big 4x3 (10+2?, 24/2?) fans, so I'll give both my top 10 and my predicted order of finish for the "Legends" and "Leaders" divisions. Miami will not be appearing in this film. On with the rankings!

1. Oklahoma- They're the consensus number one for good reason. Landry Jones may not approach the freakish numbers Sam Bradford posted during his legendary 2008 season, but he'll come close and this is the best Sooner team since then.

2. Alabama- I have issues with this, because I actually think Alabama will falter at some point without much experience on offense beyond Trent Richardson, but it's hard to argue with Saban's typical soul-crushing defense.

3. LSU- I don't like gambling on a Les Miles coached team, but if they receive any kind of positive contributions from the QB position (and they've done just fine without it since 2008, so maybe it doesn't matter) they'll be a very dangerous team. The defense is scary good, and the offense expunged itself of Gary Crowton, who has now declined from innovator at Lousiana Tech to curiosity as Bears offensive coordinator to head-coaching flop to a twice-failed offensive coordinator.

4. Stanford- I, too, am just that much in love with Andrew Luck, and I think their schedule is manageable since they get both Oregon and Notre Dame (probably their two most difficult games) at home. I think Harbaugh left an experienced team behind him that'll probably manage to keep the ship running.

5. Oklahoma State- Losing Dana Holgorson to West Virginia will hurt, since he's one of the most brilliant and entertaining minds in college football at the moment, but the combination of Weeden-to-Blackmon should be enough to keep them highly competitive in a crumbling Big 12 (is there Any team in the old Big 12 North that's even remotely scary? No?).

6. Wisconsin- Thanks to the transfer of Russell Wilson I'd say they're my favorite now over Nebraska in the first year of the Big 36/3. Wilson's a very accurate and productive passer who is a threat as a runner at well, meaning that Wisconsin will have more than just another HandoffBot9000 in the Sorgi/Bollinger/Stocco/Tolzien tradition to pair with that beefy offensive line and 2 of it's 3 superb runningbacks from last year.

7. Boise State- They tried running off to the Mountain West to increase their strength of schedule, since they thought they'd be joining a conference with BYU, TCU, and Utah that would easily surpass the Big East and ACC as a BCS-caliber conference, but instead they're left to battle it out with TCU for a year before TCU scrambles off to the Big East. TCU suffered much higher attrition than Boise did from last year's awesome squads and has the all-important factors of an experienced quarterback and homefield advantage (the Mountain West switched the game from a TCU home game to a Boise home game after TCU announced they were leaving the conference next year. Highly amusing dickery if you ask me) in their matchup.

8. Virginia Tech- The Hokies have incredible depth, the usual mediocre ACC slate to face, and an incredibly promising young quarterback in Logan Thomas. They always wind up here eventually.

9. Nebraska- Their schedule is tough, and they have the misfortune of facing Ohio State after the five-game suspensions are over, but I still think this team will go far in the Leaders division if they can keep Taylor Martinez healthy. They also still have a healthy defense led by Jared Crick. They'll be fine.

10. Florida State- I'm not a fan of the hype on this team, because I still like to believe FSU is closer to the shambles of the Late Bowden Era than it is to a resurgence under Jimbo Fisher, but their defensive talent is undeniable and E.J. Manuel is more experienced than most first year starters given the brittle nature of Christian Ponder. So, guh. They'll probably win at least ten. Assholes.

Big Ten Standings:
Legends:
1. Nebraska- For reasons stated above. Michigan doesn't have the defense to stop them, Michigan State is bound to fall from a lucky 2010 season, and Iowa's lost a ton of experience.

2. Iowa- Never underestimate a Kirk Ferentz team with low expectations. They've suffered heavy attrition but should adjust enough to get to the 7-8 wins they're comfortable with, which should be enough to fit them in at second in a thin division.

3. Michigan State- I'm down on them, I can't help it. They got absolutely thrashed in the games they lost last year and had too many close wins. They'll still be a bowl team, but nowhere near the 11 wins they got last year.

4. Northwestern- Because you know they'll be just good enough to lose a bowl game.

5. Michigan- If they had kept Rich Rod and continued to build based on the players he finally had recruited for his scheme, I'd say they're the second best team in this division, but they're right back to the mismatch of talent/scheme they were a few years ago. Robinson will still point up points, but they'll be handicapped trying to run a power offense with spread personnel while their defense still blows.

6. Minnesota- Duh.

Leaders:
1. Wisconsin- See above.

2. Ohio State- Even without Tressel, the loss of so many skill players for all or part of the season should make them the most Tressely-Tresselball team ever, but they still have enough talent on defense and in the run game that they can probably manage their way to 8-9 wins.

3. Illinois- I'm a homer, naturally, but there's logic behind this despite the loss of LeShoure, Martez Wilson, and Corey Liuget. The decline in schedule strength should compensate for the loss of talent, as Illinois no longer begins with the brutal match up with Missouri and instead starts with 5 straight home games (and 8 overall) and enough winnable matchups that an 8-10 win season seems well within the realm of probability. The Zook Factor applies, however, so I may swallow these words. And a lot of tears. And then some scotch.

4. Penn State- Because neither of their quarterbacks excite me, they've lost Evan Royster, and their defense was average last year.

5. Purdue- Until Danny Hope shows me anything worth believing he can actually right the ship, they're stuck in the basement.

6. Indiana- Recruiting Gunner Kiel was a huge score for them, but he won't arrive on campus until next year. Instead they're left with a gaping hole where Ben Chappell used to be (hehe, Chappell was fat. Great QB, though), and he was the only reason they were competitive in some games last year. It don't look good, folks.

In the new title game I expect Wisconsin to eke out a win over Nebraska. So there you have it. You are, of course, complete welcome to disregard my rankings since they're as full of shit as everyone else's, but hey, ain't college football great?

Two weeks. Thank you, almighty football lords.

Walk Away, Carlos

2011-08-15T13:19:00.004-05:00

I don't write much about the Cubs anymore. For one, this is a football blog and, while I wrote some Cubs stuff a few years ago, there are many people out there who do that job better and frankly, I just don't care enough anymore. I feel compelled to give my 2 cents on Carlos Zambrano, though, so bear with me.

I'm a Cubs fan because of my grandfather. My dad's a Cubs fan as well, but he had to spend all of his time when I was a kid working his ass off during the day and, as the father of three snot-nosed brats, he never really had much control over the television remote when he came home. So I watched the Cubs at Grandpa's house. Grandpa was long-suffering and he lived and died with his team. I admired that. I embody that to an extent, except for the last few years the Cubs have actually managed to break me. I don't watch anymore, and that bugs me. I can't enjoy them because they aren't enjoyable and they sure as hell don't seem interested in getting there any time soon. Jim Hendry's going to stay. The Ricketts just think it's swell to own a goddamn baseball team, even if the product on the field is a total abortion. So I can't just stomach it like my Grandpa could. That's fine. I'm not my Grandpa. He also lived through the Great Depression and spent a year freezing in a foxhole in the frozen hell of North Korea. I couldn't do that either.

I don't think Carlos Zambrano is built much like my grandfather, either. For what it's worth, I think people that are trying to cast Zambrano as a selfish guy who excludes himself from blame when he's ranting about playing for a shitty team are wrong. Every one of Zambrano's outbursts has been directed at himself and they generally only involved his teammate's when they've chosen to get too close to the hurricane. Sure, I get why he's easy to dislike. He's really a raving lunatic and he's immature and, despite my constant argument that Jay Cutler's personality has no impact on the field, Carlos's rage does since it clearly affects his control and allows bad games to snowball on him. He needed to handle things better, but he's not built that way. He's pissed that the team sucks. He's pissed that he sucks. I don't think Carlos sees the point of playing shitty baseball for a shitty baseball team. I've heard meatball fans for years bitching about how Aramis Ramirez or Alfonso Soriano look like they're happy just to cash a check for underachieving, yet they're now ripping into Zambrano for deciding that it just isn't worth it anymore.

I don't think what Zambrano did was right, but I'm also tired of society constantly policing the attitudes of players. How many star athletes do we get in every generation who perfectly embody all of the proper standards of performance and intangibles and behavior that we set for them? Maybe a handful? Hell, most of the ones we think "do it the right way" collapse into a heap of lies at some point like Tiger Woods or Brett Favre or Alex Rodriguez. I'm done with that. If Carlos thinks this shit sucks and he wants to walk away, I hope he does it and I hope he doesn't let anyone talk him out of it. I think this shit sucks, too. I've spent most of the last two summers not watching the Cubs and the worst part is that I don't even miss them. They've killed the part of me that just liked watching baseball because I've long since become accustomed to the idea that they care a hell of a lot less about putting a winning product on the field than I do, and the fact that they're trashing Carlos Zambrano while endorsing the man who not only signed Carlos to a massive contract but also built the shitty team around him says all I need to know. I really have a hard time caring about the Chicago Cubs these days, and they're responsible for it. I'm not surprised they've driven away Carlos Zambrano, too.

Bears-Bills Observations

2011-08-15T07:30:00.003-05:00

I've said many times that the worst mistake you can make as a football fan is to overrate anything you see in the preseason. If you need evidence of that I can always direct you to my favorite stick-poking of Bears fandom's greatest ledge-jumper. That said, you can occasionally glean some useful information from individual matchups during preseason games, and I really had just one hope for this game, which was that the offensive line might try to be something better than a total embarrassment.

Well....

Okay, it looked bad. Raw sack totals are always misleading, though. I'm throwing out the five second-half sacks of Nathan Enderle because all of the back-ups were in at that point and trying to take anything meaningful from the second half of the first preseason game is an endeavor well beyond foolishness. The four first half sacks are certainly concerning, however. I'll say that the overall size and strength of the unit appears to be much better, since the runblocking was pretty stellar for Marion Barber and Khalil Bell, who capitalized for 120 yards at 6.0 ypc.

As for those four sacks of Cutler and Hanie, the positive that I can take away is that no one appeared to be consistently defeated. Unlike last year's Kamerion Wimbley/Chris Williams shellacking in the 2nd game of the preseason, this year the responsibility for those four sacks belongs to J'Marcus Webb, Lance Louis, Roberto Garza, and Caleb Hanie, in that order.

Webb was certainly the most egregious defender, as he allowed pressure from Shawne Merriman that forced Cutler to step into Marcell Dareus (who was forcing his way through Lance Louis after a missed double-team assignment) and he allowed Merriman to sack Hanie as well. On Merriman's second sack, Webb did his job and blocked Merriman before passing him off to Garza, but Garza faltered and allowed Hanie to go down, however, as Erik Kramer pointed out, Hanie needed to get the ball out quicker on that one, as he had an open receiver to his left and failed to pull the trigger. Lance Louis struggled one-on-one with Marcell Dareus, but he should have had help on the first sack he allowed.

I think things will get better. I'm not going to blow smoke up anyone's ass and I'm still scared as hell of this unit, but this is, for the most part, a young unit that has plenty of promise, unlike last year, where Kreutz and an injured Garza were two aging question marks and Frank Omiyale proved once more that he's beyond redemption. Lance Louis struggled Saturday night but allowed just one sack in five starts last year and has performed well in camp. Chris Williams actually played well, to the shock of all. Carimi seemed to be as good as advertised. John Mullin thinks they'll be alright as well, and notes that the team can make some lineup changes as well. I think the struggles in this first game were mostly missed assignments or technical issues, and the concern will come in the future if Webb fails to shake off this week's game or if the line appears to be physically overwhelmed, which wasn't the impression that I got, and I'd say that's supported by the rushing totals.

As for other highlights, it was good to see Amobi Okoye make an impact with 2 sacks, and I think he'll be a great situational pass-rusher at defensive tackle. As I said before, his biggest problems in Texas stemmed from weaknesses in run support and a general failure to hold up as a 3-down player. In Chicago he could simply sub in for Anthony Adams on third down and be a defensive tackle version of the 2006 Mark Anderson. The linebacking crew looked stellar as always, Johnny Knox performed well as a kick returner, and Major Wright seemed to be around the ball every time he was on the field. I was glad to see Lovie get Cutler and Forte out of there ASAP on a night where the field was sloppy and wet and the line was struggling. Hopefully things will be better this weekend, when the starters should get a few more reps that may give us something more hopeful.

Go Bears.

The Bears Offensive Line: Talking Myself Off of the Ledge

2011-08-08T14:50:00.005-05:00

So Mike Tice has declared the starting five combination that he wants to take into the season opener against the Atlanta Falcons. That starting five consists of J'Marcus Webb at left tackle, Chris Williams at left guard, Roberto Garza at center, Lance Louis at right guard, and Gabe Carimi at right tackle. Now that starting five doesn't really appear to be inspiring much confidence in most people because four of those give gentlemen were on last year's roster during the 56 sack-a-palooza and the fifth guy is an untested rookie.

Now, dear reader, I understand your concern because, well, I myself have been shitting solid bricks over Jerry's inactivity regarding the offensive line during free agency. While I think the team truly will be better at the center position with Chris Spencer rather than Olin Kreutz (although Garza at center is at total wild card, the man's not a bad player and is bigger than Kreutz so he could do just fine there), I too am not sold on the idea that the Bears can count on Webb, Carimi, Louis, and Williams ALL to pan out. Unfortunately, however, help doesn't appear to be on the way. Those are the guys you're stuck with, so here's why you and I shouldn't start drinking Clorox, or something.

1. The biggest offender of 2010 is no longer in the lineup.
Funny thing about last year. After Chris Williams went down in week two against the Cowboys, Frank Omiyale moved over from right tackle to left tackle and stayed there for the rest of the season. After that we were force-fed horseplop about how Omiyale was "surprisingly solid" at left tackle blah blah blah. Omiyale allowed 13 sacks last year, by far the highest total of anyone on the team. Hell, Orlando Pace allowed 3 sacks in 11 games in 2009, for comparison, and while raw sack totals are sometimes flawed and Orlando allowed a hell of a lot of pressure overall, Omiyale sucked and let no one tell you otherwise. While Frank was certainly an improvement of Chris Williams/Kevin Shaffer at left tackle in the run game, he was still in my opinion the weakest link of the unit and he's been relegated to the bench, hopefully for good. That's a bonus.

2. They're bigger.
Mike Martz's offense calls for five big, beefy offensive linemen who can hold their own in the passing game. Olin Kreutz as a 292 pound center was a poor fit, and moving Garza to center in order to get greater size at both center and guard makes sense. As it stands right now, that starting five combo of Webb, Williams, Garza, Louis, and Carimi would average about 312 LBs per man. Hopefully that size alone should cut down on some of the interior penetration which caused so much trouble last year. If this group can simply fall down and make a mess of things in the middle and allow Cutler to scramble outside of the pocket, well, that's an improvement over the disaster that was the first half of last year.

3. The unit that ended last season is not the unit that started last season.
There are a lot of enduring, painful images of last year's offensive line that have us all sweating balls about this group. It's worth noting however that the unit that ended last season was far different than the unit that was responsible for debacles like the 10 sack game vs. the Giants, the 6 sack against the Seahawks, and the 4 sack games against the Lions and the Redskins. The Bears opened the season last year with a left-to-right alignment of Chris Williams, Garza, Kreutz, Louis, and Omiyale and got the following results:

-Chris Williams at left tackle was a disaster, and he went down in week two with an injury shortly after getting pantsed by DeMarcus Ware on consecutive possessions. That forced Omiyale over to left tackle, where he was only an improvement compared to Chris Williams, and sent Kevin Shaffer in at right tackle.

-Kevin Shaffer blew and was absolutely shellacked by the Giants (2 sacks, 2 false starts in just 1 start), so he was benched after one start for J'Marcus Webb at RT.

-Roberto Garza struggled with a knee injury early on before he missed two starts after surgery. In his place Edwin Williams was less than spectacular, allowing 1 sack and several pressures in two starts.

-Louis played well, but it was hard to tell between the overrated mediocrity of Olin Kreutz and the general suckitude of Kevin Shaffer. Louis missed one start due to injury and then was lost in the shuffle after Chris Williams returned to play left guard.

The Bears didn't settle on a group of five that lasted more than one game until the eighth game of the season against Buffalo. After that, things got better:

First Seven Games: 31 sacks (4.4 per game), 89 yards rushing per game, 18 PPG
Last Nine Games: 25 sacks (2.7 per game), 111 yards rushing per game, 23 PPG

So the Bears have now replaced two weak links on that much less embarrassing second half offensive line (Kreutz, Omiyale) with Roberto Garza at center and Gabe Carimi at right tackle. Will it work? I don't know, but there's reasons ot believe it can and will, but there's also little reason to fear a regression to last year's nightmarish first half numbers. At the very least this a group that should be able to run the ball effectively.

4. There's Some depth.
Chris Spencer isn't currently in the starting lineup, and I do believe Tice when he says he'd prefer to go into the season with Roberto Garza at center. Roberto has been a quality linemen (except in the four games last year before his knee surgery) in his time for the Bears and a move to center could prolong his career. He also knows the Martz playbook and all of the line calls and seems to be handling center well after a rough start to camp. And hell, if he botches a few snaps, has a couple false starts, and maybe can't handle a shotgun snap real well, it's not like he's any worse than vaunted leader Olin Kreutz in that department. However, Garza can always move back to guard to replace either Louis or Williams if either of them falters, and hopefully by that point Spencer will be ready to step in at center. Spencer's also got an entire 16-game season of experience at guard under his belt, so the Bears may go that route if need be.

The simple fact of the matter is that the Bears didn't score the big-name free agent linemen that we (and they) were hoping for and now they have to hope one of their young guys can play better than whatever over-priced, lower-tier free agent they could bring in at this point. If you're asking me, I'd say Carimi will be in improvement over the Omiyale/Shaffer/Rookie Webb combo at RT, while it won't take much from Webb to be an improvement over Omiyale at left tackle. Garza can probably handle center, and I'm high on Lance Louis.

My biggest worry is Chris Williams, but I'd say that the worst case scenario for the Bears at this point would be marginal improvement over last year's second half-numbers (the acquisition of Matt Spaeth, who HAS to be a better blocker than the Manu/Olsen combo of last year, should help as well), while anyone fearing a retreat back to the full-on CutlerRape of the first half can probably cease the pants-wetting. As for the best case scenario? I don't know. If Carimi and Webb can be what Mike Tice believes they can be, this could be one very good offense. If not, well, they could probably survive another year with an offensive line like the one they took into the playoffs last year, just not the offensive line they took into the Meadowlands.

Or they could be fucked, in which case somebody's getting fired, and that's always fun, no?

Getting to Know Your New Chicago Bears

2011-08-04T13:21:00.004-05:00

So it's been a pretty eventful offseason as far as player movement goes for the Bears, and while I recapped the team's free agent efforts, I still feel some of you may want some more information on the more notable additions to the Bears roster, be they draft picks, undrafted rookies, or free agents. So without further ado, meet your newest Bears:

WR Roy Williams
HT: 6'3'' WT: 210 LBs
Years in the League: 7 Seasons
Draft: 1st Rd, 7th Pick, 2004 NFL Draft (Lions)
So for the last year meathead Bears fans have been screaming from the top of their lungs that they wanted a big target for Jay Cutler. The Bears went out and got one in Roy Williams, whom most fans have already decided to hate. Now, I myself hate Williams' personality and the useless bravado he exhibited with the Lions, but I have no beef with the signing. He fits well in Martz's offense and, considering I have more faith in the Bears' current crop of wideouts than most, I think the team will be fine whether Roy pans out or not.

However, many fans are pissed because Roy didn't produce much as Romo's third or even fourth option in Dallas as he had just 37 receptions for 530 yds and 5 TDs last year. Now, Bears fans, in their infinite wisdom, are smarter than Jerry Angelo and know that a guy like Sidney Rice (averages 44.4 ypg in his career, Roy averages 52.1) would have been a much better option, since Roy Williams is a fluke who only has one 1300 yard season in his career to hang his hat on. Oh, wait. That sounds like it might apply to Sidney Rice, too.

Well, the Bears at least should have gotten Plaxico Burress, because a guy who is older than Roy Williams and hasn't played a down since 2008 must automatically be better than Roy.

Okay, well the Bears should have gone with Mike Sims-Walker, even though he's never had a 1,000 yard season and he's averaged 43.4 ypg in his career. Maybe, just maybe, this WR crop in FA wasn't as great as people made it out to be and MAYBE, given Roy's previous sucess in the system and the fact that he's actually produced better in his career than both Rice and Sims-Walker, he actually was the smart pick. I don't know.

WR Sam Hurd
HT: 6'2'' WT: 187
Years in the League: Five
Draft: Undrafted
As I mentioned the other day, Hurd's biggest contributions will come on special teams, where, based on the reports I've heard, he's possibly an upgrade over Rashied Davis and, considering Rashied generally couldn't catch Syphilis in a 16th century French brothel, I'm guessing Sam would be at least a mild upgrade if forced to take meaningful reps at wide receiver. He also went to Northern Illinois, for all of you Huskie homers.

WR Dane Sanzenbacher
HT: 5'11 WT: 185 LBs
Years in the League: Rookie
Draft: Undrafted Free Agent
It'll be alright if Roy Williams doesn't pan out, however, because the meatball crowd now has Dane Sanzenbacher, scrappy white wide receiver from Ohio State, to root for. If you're on twitter, do a quick search for "Sanzenbacher" and marvel at the results from Bears fans already stating that he'll be better than Roy Williams and inquiring desperately about his roster status. I'd be truly sad if this annual tradition wasn't kept up. I'm sure he'll be just as great as Mike Haass. He also went to Ohio State, so, you know, f*&k him.

WR Andy Fantuz
HT: 6'4'' WT: 220 LBs
Years in the League: Rookie
Draft: Undrafted, Acquired from CFL
As a CFL fan, I'd normally root for any guy like Fantuz to succeed in the NFL and legitimize the league, but Fantuz played for the Roughriders, sworn enemies of Smilin' Hank Burris' Calgary Stampeders, so woe unto him. Also he's just a tall, slow wide receiver that can't block. And you thought they'd miss Greg Olsen.

DE Vernon Gholston
HT: 6'4'' WT: 265 LBs
Years in the League: 3
Draft: 1st Rd, 6th Pick, 2008 Draft (Jets)
Gholston was a beast in college, where he had 22.5 sacks and 30.5 tackles for a loss in 34 games. In the NFL he was a surprisingly poor fit after switching from a 4-3 DE to a 3-4 OLB. Then Rex Ryan moved him to a 3-4 defensive end, which is never much of a premier pass rushing position. The Jets then brought in veteran 3-4 DE Trevor Pryce, and Gholston had just 2 starts while attempting to learn an entirely new position. In my opinion, Gholston never should have been put anywhere in a 3-4. He's still got incredible burst and straight-line speed for a 4-3 DE (4.56 40 time) and he may very well progress into something resembling the guy he was supposed to be under Rod Marinelli. At worst, he's a big upgrade at the #4 DE spot over Mark Anderson, who broke camp at that position last year, and over Henry Melton, who was more of a fit at defensive tackle, where he now lines up this year. At best...he could be a terror in a pass-rushing rotation with Peppers, Idonije, and Corey Wooton. The standard response as I've mentioned before was "LOL, look at ol' Angelo pickin' through the trash," but I absolutely support this move. There's nothing to lose.

DT Amobi Okoye
HT: 6'2'' WT: 292 LBs
Years in the League: 4
Draft: 1st Rd, 10th Pick, 2007 Draft (Texans)
Akoye is another "bust" the Bears have picked up for their DL, but unlike Gholston he actually has produced in short stints. He had 5.5 sacks as a rookie, a very solid total for a DT, and he has 11 sacks overall, for an average of 3 a year. In Chicago he's not going to be asked to be a three-down defensive tackle, eliminating his struggles against the run, and if he manages to be part of the 3-technique rotation during passing downs, I think his speed will be a benefit to the team. Some people are pissed the Bears failed to add some secondary depth during this offseason and instead addressed the DL. If the Bears can get similar production from their line as last year, they'll be able to get by once more with the secondary they have. If they get improved production from guys like Idonije, Wooton, Melton, and Toeiana they'll be in really good shape, and if guys like Gholston and Okoye tap into their potential you'll probably stop hearing all of that crap about Detroit's defensive line being something near-godlike (especially since Fairley is already hurt). The only constant on the Bears' D-Line this year may be Peppers, but if the other three spots can keep up a consistent pass-rush by committee, the entire Tampa-Two will click better than it has since 2006.

DT Stephen Paea
HT: 6'1'' WT: 311 LBs
Years in the League: Rookie
Draft: 2nd Rd, 2011 Draft (Bears)
Of course, one key to ensuring that the Bears defensive line turns into the monster unit I'm optimistic that it can be is if Paea is able to earn his way to a starting job and become a force either at the three-technique or the nose tackle. Paea's versatility is an asset, since he's got the size to take over for Anthony Adams at the nose if Melton or Okoye proves to be a better penetrator at under-tackle, but his burst and his absolutely ludicrous showing at the combine (that's a video of him doing 49 bench press reps of 225 lbs. No big deal) indicate that he's got the quickness and brute strength necessary to be a disruptive pass-rushing force at under-tackle. Plus, he an Toeiana give the Bears a +1 over Detroit and Green Bay in the all-important category of Polynesian defensive linemen. Suh, Raji, your move.

OT Gabe Carimi
HT: 6'7'' WT: 315 LBs
Years in the League: Rookie
Draft: 1st RD, 29th Pick, 2011 Draft (Bears)
Of course, Gabe Carimi will be the most watched rookie on the Bears this year and the one that absolutely must make an impact. I've heard some minor hand-wringing about the Bears moving J'Marcus Webb to LT and Carimi to right, but I don't really consider it an issue. Webb was a small school talent with similar overall measurables to a guy like Carimi who got much better as the season went along last year and has every bit as much of the potential to be a starting LT as Carimi does, plus a slight edge as far as experience goes. Carimi by all accounts could be a great left tackle in the NFL, but there's some disagreement there, while I haven't heard anyone yet say that he wouldn't be a great right tackle in the NFL. Carimi's greatest strength is plowing people over in the run game, while he's an above-average, but not elite blocker in pass protection. Hopefully they both work out. If Carimi and Webb can lock down both ends of the line the team then the team will be in great shape for years to come at two of the most important positions on offense. I understand the fear that the team may be lying about their faith in Webb given the $33 million contract they offered to Willie Colon, but reports that I heard even then seemed to indicate that Willie would be moved to guard in Chicago and only moved to tackle if Webb struggled. So hopefully this is a move that pays off. Either way, I'd expect Carimi to succeed at right tackle, to say the least.

C Chris Spencer
HT: 6'3" WT: 309 LBs
Years in the League: 7
Draft: 1st Rd, 26th Pick, 2005 Draft (Seahawks)
Spencer is now the replacement for Olin Kreutz at center. I gave my feelings on letting Olin go before, and I definitely think Spencer can be an improvement over what Olin gave the Bears over the last several years, even if he's a step down from the Pro-Bowl caliber center that Olin Kreutz used to be (and that apparently some people still imagine he is). For one, Spencer has both height and a nearly 20 pound weight advantage over Kreutz, which should hopefully allow the team to reduce the amount of pressure up the middle from guys like Suh and Raji. Spencer's only 29, and he's also got a full year's experience playing guard under his belt. While some have ragged on Spencer for inconsistency, he's generally performed adequately when he hasn't struggled with injuries, something that plagued him from 07-09. Last year Pro Football Focus had him as comparable to Kreutz in pass protection and a much better run blocker. Spencer at 29 should be able to sustain that production, if he doesn't improve under Tice, while Kreutz at 34 is likely to continue his decline. Spencer may not be an all-pro, but he was certainly the best center on the market, and that market included Olin Kreutz.

Those are all of the additions I deem worthy of an actual breakdown, although I will add that the Bears signed Oregon State's center Alex Linnenkohl (6'2'', 303 LBs), who was the highest rated center that wasn't drafted this year. While he's not ready to start now, he's a strong candidate for the practice squad or a guy who can be stashed on injured reserve for a year while he adds strength and could possibly replace Spencer if he Spencer disappoints over his two-year contract.

Where Do I Begin (Part Two): Free Agency

2011-08-01T07:56:00.003-05:00

There aren't many words that could easily define this free agency period. At first the Bears were accused of inactivity. After signing 48 players in less than a week, the accusations changed from inactivity to stupid activity. Then, Jerry enraged everyone by trading or releasing franchise cornerstones Greg Olsen and Olin Kreutz. Wait, I'm not enraged at all. Those were totally the right moves to make. So let's move on to the run down:

Good Moves:
-Signing Roy Williams
Believe me, I didn't expect to consider this a good move. I hate Roy Williams. As a Bears fan, how could you not? The smarmy cockface is still most memorable in my mind for stating after a 34-7 loss to the Bears in 2006 that it was "stupid" how close the Lions were to scoring 40 points. Gah. However, Williams could certainly thrive in an offense where he's comfortable with the scheme (something evident by the 2148 yards he gained in his 28 games in the Mike Martz offense in 2006-2007), has a solid quarterback (something he never had in Detroit), and is, more than likely, going to be the featured target (unlike Dallas). Now, Williams truly was awful in 2008-2009. Nagging leg injuries appeared to have robbed him of much of his speed, and a series of brutal drops eventually led Tony Romo to largely ignore him. This year, Williams had a pretty great year for a guy who was usually Romo/Kitna's fourth option behind Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, and Jason Witten. I'm one of the few people who think that Cutler would do fine throwing to Knox, Bennett, and Hester if he had the protection to allow him to find them downfield with regularity, but I think Roy Williams would add a dimension with his height (6-4) and speed (14.6 YPC in his career) that would make him very good in this offense. If he fails, well, the Bears gave up very little to get him and they'll surprise with the rest of their wideouts, but, much as I loathe his stupid face, I think he seems to be in a very good position to shock a lot of people.

-Re-signing Nick Roach.
I'd probably have wagered on Pisa, but Nick has never really disappointed in the OLB position and has never actually had the chance to play a full season with Urlacher and Briggs there to support him. He struggled at times shouldering much of the load in 2009, but I think the talent is there and he's much more experienced. He could be a key piece on a linebacking corps that will soon have to begin to prepare for life post-Urlacher.

-Re-signing Corey Graham and Brian Iwuh and replacing Rashied Davis with Sam Hurd
Dave Toub's special teams unit wasn't ignored, as Corey Graham and Brian Iwuh were two key pieces that returned on very favorable deals. Rashied Davis was excellent at covering kicks, which appears to be Sam Hurd's speciality, and Hurd probably wouldn't rank among the worst receivers in the NFL in dropped passes if he was forced into a bigger role on offense, something Rashied managed to do in 2008.

-Taking chances on Vernon Gholston and Amobi Okoye
The fact that the Bears have signed these two has been thrown around more as a "LOL, look at Angelo takin on other people's garbage" joke the last few days, but these were both low-risk, high-reward moves that would look brilliant if either one paid off. The Bears aren't even remotely depending on either of these guys. One or both could get cut before camp is out, or either one could cash in on their talent and potential and offer young, cheap options at two key positions on the defensive line. If the Bears were going to sign these two and then cut Izzy or Corey Wooton or if they didn't re-sign Anthony Adam, I'd say it was foolhardy to expect them to contribute as starters. But they aren't. They're back ups with huge upside. Fine by me.

-Bringing back Anthony Adams
Anthony Adam's is nothing particularly special. He's a rich man's Ian Scott. He is, however, an underrated cog in the team's run defense, which was absolutely stellar last year if anyone was paying attention. He's probably going to give way even more this year to pass-rushers like Melton and Toeiana and possibly Okoye, but in non-passing downs, Anythony is key and the Bears were smart to bring him back.

-Getting the entire draft class into camp on time
Even if the new CBA hadn't made the job of signing rookies even easier, I think Cliff Stein would have managed to get the Bears draft class into camp earlier than most. He's just that good. It's absolutely invaluable to get Paea and Carimi as many reps as possible before the season, since both will be starting sooner rather than later, and both are vital to the team's success this year. Also helps to get Chris Conte in at safety, since the departure of Danieal Manning (it sucks, but he wasn't worth 20 mildo for one good year and that's all there is to it) means that the Lurking Demon Who Feasts Upon the Healthy Limbs of Bears' Safeties will most likely mean he'll get some starter's reps at some point this season.

-Getting Marion Barber
This is excellent for two reasons: 1. Barber, especially in a limited role as Forte's backup, can be a total menace in short yardage, something this team's needed for years. 2. Chester Taylor's probably gone, so I no longer have to throw things at the TV when he comes chugging along with his 2.4 yard per carry average.

Meh Moves:
-Replacing Olin Kreutz with Chris Spencer
This would be a good move if I was higher on Chris Spencer. As it is, I think he's a guy with talent and size and a first-round pedigree who could turn into an upgrade on the line if he's healthy and Tice is able to get the most out of him.

As for Kreutz, well, most media members and a large chunk of the fanbase are pissed off, so it was probably the right move. There's no love lost here for Olin Kreutz. I'm on record as stating multiple times that he was never as good as advertized in the past and he's been barely above-to-well below average since 2007. Something tells me Chris Spencer can probably move the pile six inches at the Detroit goal-line, or that he wouldn't manage to get destroyed for a sack by a completely disinterested Albert Haynesworth, who also blew up Olin on Cutler's attempted sneak/fumble. B.J. Raji drew a lot of fire in 2009 when he said that Olin simply wasn't strong enough to block him, but he was right. Olin was always an undersized, athletic center who got by on leverage and movement, and since he's no longer as fast and athletic as he was when he was young, he's average at best against the rest of the league and practically worthless against big bodies like Raji or Haynesworth or the two-headed monster that Detroit is going to throw at the NFL this season.

I guess the best indicator that Kreutz was washed up would be the fact that everyone opining his loss is complaining about "morale" and "intangibles" and "leadership" rather than his "blocking" and "the team's ability to maybe possibly get a yard or so when running through his gap." I'm not going to completely disregard the idea of leadership on a football team, but I also know that people have a tendency to value performance over anything else. If Chris Spencer can handle the job, and the team wins ballgames, you're going to hear the bitching about Olin's leadership disappear. Also, if Olin was such a goddamn "team" guy and such a splendid leader, why did he: A.) Once bust a teammate's jaw (actually the second time he'd broken a teammate's face, but the first was in college) B.) Demand a $4.5 million salary and walk away when the team said they couldn't pay him that, when apparently his other option was to retire? Face it, people. Olin's been over the hill for years and when he refused to admit it and get paid accordingly, the team called him on it and chose to split. Better to let Olin go a year early (and I don't think they are) then see him completely collapse.

-Trading Greg Olsen for a 3rd round pick and replacing him with Matt Spaeth (and dumping Manumaleuna).
I realize this is three moves at once but they're all related and I'm getting tired of writing. I thought Olsen was gone last year, and I was opposed at the time because I was unwilling to see the team part with a guy who still had some value if the Martz experiment was going to blow up in their face.

I've seen enough now where, crazy though it may be, I believe the best thing for this team is to run the Martz offense right if they're going to run it at all. The hybrid attack of the second half of last season helped them do enough to not-blow games, but the team is going to need to do more. People are panicking because they assume this means an automatic return to the chaos of last year's first half, but I think things will be different. The blocking will be better, as the team did improve in that department in the second half and Carimi and Spencer should be upgrades over Omiyale and Kreutz's old ass, while Webb will have far more experience and there's hopefully still the looming figure of a yet-to-be-signed veteran guard to throw into the mix. Forte will get more touches, as Martz finally realized last year what a weapon he can be, and there are now more targets at wide receiver. I've read good reviews on Spaeth's ability as a blocker, and he certainly has to be an upgrade over the miserable efforts of Olsen and Manu in that department.

If you think they're going to miss Olsen's 400 yards receiving, well, I'm pretty sure Roy Williams will manage that. I had hopes that Olsen would eventually be a complete tight end, and it would be unfair to him to say he didn't improve somewhat in the blocking department, but at this point he's still not much more than a slower wide receiver. He can exploit a shoddy batch of safeties like he did in the Seahawks playoff game, but it's worth noticing that he disappeared right away against Green Bay in the next game because he isn't the devastating matchup problem he was advertised to be when he's playing against safeties that can keep up with him.

Even more puzzling is that some people think the 3rd round pick that the Bears got for him wasn't enough. That's absurd, considering Ochocinco just drew a 2012 5th and a 2013 6th and people (including myself) were shitting a brick that Kevin Kolb brought a 2nd round pick and a cornerback in a trade. Angelo got good value for Olsen. I have no beef with this. Oh, and Greg, next time don't fumble all of the goddamn time.

Those are the major points. I'm sure there's a lot more I haven't covered but this last week has been pure madness. I'm still hoping the Bears will get a veteran guard or tackle in sometime in the next week or so, as there are still good bodies out there and teams are now trying to lower the cost of the second-tier free agents now that the stars are off the board, and if they do so I'll be more than satisfied with this offseason. If they don't, well, that'll lead to some trepidation, but for the most part there's been a lot of hand-wringing over what I think has been one of the Bears' smarter offseasons.

Where Do I Begin?

2011-08-01T07:27:00.002-05:00

You know, I've never really considered myself to be a shill for Jerry Angelo or any of the brains behind the Chicago Bears organization. In the dark, dark depths of the the end of the 2009 season I succumbed to meatheadedry and admitted I wouldn't be terribly upset if the entire regime was dismissed. The fact that I backed off that stance following their offseason maneuvers last year and predicted a return to the playoffs for the Bears made me a damned idiot fool in the eyes of a lot of people. Now, I'm not saying I'm some kind of brilliant wizard for correctly predicting the 11-5 record the Bears would enjoy, or the 6-10 downfall of the Vikings, even if I did predict both, but I am going on record as believing that the Chicago Bears have a good football team, one that Jerry Angelo has assembled.

I've got major beefs with Jerry, that's for sure. His refusal to address the offensive line in the early rounds of drafts until the botched pick of Chris Williams in 2008 has been my biggest beef, naturally. I understand that he was handicapped the last two years after trading away a number of picks for Jay Cutler (smart!) and Gaines Adams (not smart! And not just because he died, sadly) and that the free agent market was thin on quality o-line starters in the last two offseasons, but last year's motley crew was hard to stomach and the blame for that falls on him.

His first round picks have been widely slammed, although I think it's worth adding some context to the whole "only two remain with the team, Carimi and Williams" statement. That's true, but it's worth remembering that he didn't even Make first round picks in 2010, 2009, and 2006. So of 11 possible first round picks, that's 3 that never even existed. He traded down in 2006 out of the 27th pick and got Devin Hester and Danieal Manning. Works for me. The 09&10 picks got us Jay Cutler. Fine by me. So of the 7 first round picks that Jerry actually made, 2 remain (Williams&Carimi) and 6 are gone (Marc Colombo, Rex Grossman, Michael Haynes, Tommie Harris, Cedric Benson, Greg Olsen).

Of that group, Marc Colombo was a solid left tackle for the Cowboys for several years, exactly what he was drafted to be. The Bears had to move on from Colombo not because he was a bust in Chicago, but because he suffered two major knee injuries that wiped out nearly three whole seasons and they were forced to move on because they couldn't rely on him to man the blindside and got John Tait. Fair move, but hardly makes Colombo a bad pick, since he had no injury history in college and the knee injury he suffered was an artificial-turf induced freak of an accident. Tommie Harris was absolutely the best pick they could have made in 2004 and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot who has forgotten exactly what Tommie was before his injury in 2007. A great under tackle makes the entire Cover 2 defense work, and Tommie absolutely was a great under tackle before he lost the burst that made him so tough to defend. Bad luck sucks, but to count Tommie as any kind of first round bust is lunacy. Greg Olsen, for all his faults, was at least a talented, somewhat productive player who earned a pretty good pick in return. I thought he was a stupid pick to begin with, but for the 31st overall pick he wasn't a particularly damning miss.

So that leaves Jerry with three damning busts in Rex Grossman (who still started a Superbowl at quarterback, however you want to view that), Cedric Benson, and Michael Haynes. Having three flops sucks, but he's hardly the absolutely incompetent drafter that statistic would indicate.

What's my point with all of this? I'm not saying I trust Jerry Angelo. I'm saying that his perception as a stingy, incompetent boob seems to be a bit of a media/fan creation. I'd say it's absurd to act like he never makes big moves (Cutler? Peppers?) or that he's generally inactive in free agency. In 2004-2005 he completely rebuilt a shitty offensive line that allowed 66 sacks in 2004 with Fred Miller, John Tait, and Ruben Brown. He brought in Thomas Jones, Desmond Clark, Adewale Ogunleye and several other excellent veterans who carried the team to a superbowl on a team that had Jerry Angelo draft picks starting at almost every other key position (Bernard Berrian, Tommie Harris, Alex Brown, Ian Scott, Lance Briggs, Charles Tillman, Nathan Vasher, Chris Harris). The fact of the matter is, Jerry's track record is that he's an above-average GM. He may not be elite, and I understand the desire for an elite organization. This team needs to win consistently and take its place among the Patriots, Colts, Steelers, Ravens, Packers etc. They have some pieces in place, primarily in the form of Jay Cutler, that make me think those days are coming. I myself haven't been pissed off that much by this free agency period, and I'm going to address those moves specifically in my next post, since this one has gotten extremely long. My point, however, is that simply raging that Jerry Angelo is an idiot gets no one anywhere and would have blown up in most people's faces where they able to be held accountable as fans for their statements after a season like last year. As of right now, the Bears are reigning NFC North champions. They deserve the benefit of a doubt until, unlike last year, they prove on the field that they aren't a good football team, rather than in the minds of an incredibly fickle and irate fanbase.

Into the Wild

2011-07-29T15:50:00.002-05:00

I'm sure all of you are dying for my take on the Bears many moves so far, from the Greg Olsen trade to the flurry of wide receivers to the (at the moment) lack of offensive line help. Unfortunately for you all I'm going camping for the weekend, although I will continue to panic from a distance until the team finds some protection for Cutler. Once I get back on Sunday and some of this dust has settled and the Bears have made whatever moves they have left I'll give you all a full write up and a healthy dose of bullshit. See you then.

Go Bears.

Peace in Our Time?

2011-07-25T07:40:00.003-05:00

I only bring out my really poor MSPaints when it's a special occasion.

It appears that the NFL lockout officially ends today. Hallelujah. The details of the agreement can be found anywhere, but I'm just going to touch on the points that I find most relevant:

-The salary cap will be set at $120.4 million, with a floor of at least 90% of that, meaning at least 108 million, which leaves the Bears with one of the highest amounts of cap space in the league. They should have all of the room they need to re-sign their key free agents (Kreuts, Pisa or Roach, and perhaps Anthony Adams and Danieal Manning) and to acquire at least one starting-caliber offensive lineman and depth at wide receiver. Fortunately the raised floor will force them to spend a significant chunk, so the usual McCaskey thrift won't be too much of an issue.

-According to the latest report from Adam Schefter, teams will begin negotiating with their own free agents and undrafted free agents either today or tomorrow, with true free agency beginning in the next couple days.

-Facilities will be open to players, with camps starting Wednesday or soon thereafter.

- Rookie wages will be capped, and all drafted rookies will sign four year deals (undrafted rookies will sign three-year deals) with teams having a fifth-year option for 1st round picks. The figure I'm hearing for Cam Newton is 4 years, $22 million, waaaaay down from Sam Bradford's 6 year, $78 million deal, so you can use your imagine to guess how much lower salaries will be for all of the other rookies as well.

Those are the main points I'm most concerned with, as they directly affect the Bears at the moment. Given all of those points I'd expect a few thing:

-Olin Kreutz will undoubtedly be the first player the team re-signs, although I'm afraid they'll have to overpay him. Hopefully they overpay him in cash, rather than in years, because I'd rather use up some of that abundant cap space this year than be saddled with him 2-3 years down the road or forced to take a huge cap hit for releasing him.

-I think the team is more likely to re-sign Pisa Tinoisamoa than Nick Roach, Pisa will probably sign his third straight one-year deal, while Roach leaves. Roach is a nice player, but he's young and I don't think the Bears think highly enough of him to give him a multi-year deal and commit to him as a starter, especially since they just drafted JT Thomas.

-The Bears' negotiator, Cliff Stein, is generally one of the best in the business at signing draft picks quickly, and I would expect no delays whatsoever in getting Carimi, Paea, & Co. under contract, especially since the new wage scale for rookies will make it easy for the team to simply point to a number and a dotted line.

-Get a goddamn guard, Jerry,

That should do it for now, I think. I can also say that I'm glad the HOF game was cancelled, since additional preseason games are stupid.

Football's on the way, folks. We're saved.

Matt Forte vs. Adrian Peterson

2011-07-21T07:49:00.003-05:00

A couple days ago, KC Joyner, ESPN's football stathead, apparently posted an article where he compared backs based on their total yards from scrimmage over the last three seasons and decided that Matt Forte was pretty comparable to the premier back in his division, Adrian Peterson. Then yesterday one of the gentlemen from Pro Football Focus used some of their own metrics to absolutely refute that argument.

The interesting thing about this argument is the metrics that both men choose to use to measure Forte. Joyner notes that the Bears' run-blocking, based on his statistics, has been much worse than the Vikings' and that Forte has still performed quite well. He also notes that people seem to ignore Forte's statistics as a receiver when comparing him to other backs. He basically makes the point that Forte is undervalued because of his versatility, something that common sense would tell you should be a reason to rank him higher.

The PFF guys disagree with this argument by stating that the Vikings' run-blocking was actually worse over the last two years than the Bears', something I have a hard time believing, even if I like PFF on balance, because in this case it's ESPN's offensive line statistics (as well as Football Outsiders, which I believe had the Bears ranked lower both years) and the eyes of everyone in the entire free world vs. PFF's stats. They also state, for whatever reason, that you can't give Forte credit for being a better receiver than Peterson because Forte catches deeper passes than Peterson so that makes his numbers deceptive. Huh?

Seriously, based on some highly skewed statistic analyzing "Depth of Target", the guy argues that Forte's not much better than Peterson as a receiver, he just has more yards because the Bears target him deeper down field.

You know why they do that, guys? It's because Forte's a better receiver. You can actually have him run routes and go farther downfield and use him as a viable deep threat, while Peterson fulfills only the traditional runningback role as a checkdown receiver. Anyone who reads this site knows I'm usually 100% in favor of new statistics, but that's just stupid. Let's say we apply that metric to wide receivers. You can no longer call Randy Moss the greatest deep threat of all time because, whatever, the Vikings and Patriots just threw the ball to him when he was deep downfield. His ability to beat coverages deep isn't like, a skill or anything. Totally just a scheme issue.

I get what the PFF guys think they are trying to say with this statistic, which they point out by saying that a guy who gets a 20 yard reception 20 yards downfield gets easy yards because the yards all came through the air, and that a guy who gets a 20 yard reception by taking the ball 2 yards behind the line of scrimmage and rumbling for 22 yards is more impressive. I would agree with that, too, except Peterson doesn't do that. If Peterson and Forte had the same number of receiving yards and Forte earned all of his through the air while Peterson earned most of them on the ground, okay, but they don't and he didn't. Peterson doesn't gain a lot of yards in the receiving game, thus he doesn't merit many targets. There's probably not a single scout in the NFL who'd tell you that Peterson was anywhere near the receiving threat, downfield or coming out of the backfield, that Forte is. That's just common sense.

For what it's worth, I don't think Matt Forte is a better runner than Adrian Peterson (his numerous issues in short yardage alone should tell you that), but neither does KC Joyner. He's merely arguing a very valid point, which is that, considering a runningback's job is to help the offense move the ball, people shouldn't underrate his contributions as a receiver.

I'd also argue that something PFF uses against Forte, his lack of touches vs. Peterson, would actually seem to show that Forte may be even more effective if he was utilized as often as Peterson is. I'd say that argument's pretty easy to make when you compare Forte's first-half statistics (when Martz was busy ignoring the run) to his second-half stats, when the team finally began running the ball:

First half: 104 carries, 401 yds, 3.9 ypr, 3 TDs, 29 catches, 315 yds, 3 TDs

Second Half: 133 carries, 668 yds, 5.0 ypr, 3 TDs, 22 catches, 232 yds, 0 TDs

In the first half, while Forte was featured more as a receiver (because the team threw the ball more. Science!), he averaged just 17 touches a game (and only 13 rushing attempts) for an average of 90 yards from scrimmage per game.

In the second half, Forte averaged almost 20 touches per game (17 rushes) for an average of 113 yards from scrimmage per game.

In all, Forte ended the season with 1,069 yards rushing and 547 yards receiving for a total of 1616 yards and 9 TDs from scrimmage. While that's a very respectable total, one can only hope that Martz' late emphasis on balance will carry over into this year and that Forte's entire season will resemble his second half numbers, which would project over a full year to 266 carries for 1336 yards rushing and 44 catches for 464 yards through the air, giving him 1800 yards or more from scrimmage. That's a total I'd be happy to take from any back, whether they're Adrian Peterson or not.

I Don't Give A Shit About John Harbaugh's Feelings

2011-07-20T07:54:00.002-05:00

I'm not a particularly ardent defender of Jerry Angelo. I was more or less in his corner before the 2009 season and I'm still not convinced he's the blundering idiot that most in Chicago believe him to be, but his record is mixed and his approach to building a franchise is uneven and inconsistent at best. I certainly loathe his approach to building the offensive line with aging free agents (although that finally appears to be changing). Frankly, however, I never thought I'd see the day when the media and certain fans in Chicago criticized Jerry for not wasting a draft pick in an unnecessary trade.

If you aren't familiar with the story, back during the first round of this year's draft the Bears were afraid that the Chiefs were going to take Gabe Carimi at#27, so they attempted to make a trade with Baltimore in order to move up to #26 and secure the tackle. The deal was the 29th pick and a 4th round pick in exchange for the 26th pick. Once the Bears realized the Chiefs weren't calling Carimi, they either "made a mistake" in Angelo's words and failed to inform the league of their deal with the Ravens, making the trade invalid, or they simply decided to wait out the clock and keep their pick. The Ravens ran out of time to pick #26, the Chiefs made their selection at 26 instead, and Baltimore was forced to wait until #27 to pick Jimmy Williams, who they had wanted all along. Chicago got Carimi at 29, so every one got their man, although Baltimore will now have to pay their guy slightly less since he was the 27th and not the 26th pick.

Chicago, meanwhile, exchanged that 4th round pick to Washington the next day in order to move up in the 2nd round and get Stephen Paea, who will destroy worlds and reap the souls of the damned this season. Good move, in my opinion. Shrewd move by Ol' Angelo. Belichick-ian, even.

Except this is Chicago, so the usual boiler plate about "doing things the right way" and blah blah has to come into play. The damn story just won't die, since John Harbaugh's still bitching about it.

There's a few problems with Harbaugh's narrative, however.

1. The NFL ruled that the Bears broke absolutely no rules by doing this. None. Whatsoever.

2. The Ravens have tried this maneuver themselves before. Back in 2003 we all had a damn good laugh when the Vikings let time expire on them as they tried to make their first round pick. The reason the Vikings ran out of time? The Ravens failed to go through with a trade and inform the league office. Ozzie Newsome, Ravens GM:

“The deal was not consummated. A deal is not a deal until I talk to [league executive] Joel Bussert, and I never talked to Joel Bussert.”

OMG, that's like, THE EXACT F&$KING THING! Those damn unethical Ravens. I'd have never expected this from an organization whose players openly blame officials for losses and offer bounties for injuring players.

3. The idea that this is somehow going to damage Chicago's prestige with the league and make other teams reluctant to deal with them is absolutely hilarious, because, as I mentioned, the Bears were able to trade the exact same 4th round pick that they offered Baltimore to Washington in order to draft Paea. This is the NFL. Any team run by a halfway competent front office (sorry, Cincinnati) is going to make whatever trade they have to do what they believe will improve their organization. I guarantee the Ravens themselves would pull the trigger on a trade with the Bears in the very next draft if it got them the guy they want. Hell, I guarantee you every other front office employee in the NFL mutters under his breath "those f*&king guys" every time they see the New England Patriots on the phone, but they still pick it up.

So John Harbaugh can take the moral high ground and bitch all he wants, and people will write about stupid shit like this until the lockout ends (tomorrow?!), but none of this matters because the Bears broke no rules and there's not going to be a single tangible repercussion to this.

The Quarterback Market- What's so Great about Kevin Kolb?

2011-07-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

If you read this blog, you'll know I subscribe wholeheartedly to the idea that this is a quarterback driven league. I understand, then, that the NFL is heavily divided between the haves and the have nots in this department, with the Bears having spent most of my life in the have nots until the recent past. Not surprisingly, signal callers with any modicum of experience or promise tend to be overvalued and can draw a king's ransom in return during a trade. As we all know, Jay Cutler cost the Bears two first round picks and a third round pick, while others have cost nearly as much. Matt Schaub, for example, had started just two games for the Falcons and had just a 6:6 TD:INT ratio and a measly 69.2 passer rating, but he cost the Texans two second round picks and a swap of first round picks in a trade. Obviously Schaub has justified the cost, but other pricey quarterback trades haven't paid off (*cough* Charlie Whitehurst *cough*).

This year's golden goose is obviously Kevin Kolb. It seems he's the only quarterback on the market worth taking a look at, and it sounds like a given at this point that he's going to cost at least a first round pick. I'm not really sure he's worth it.

In nineteen games and seven career starts, Kolb's completed 60.8% of his passes (194/319) for 2082 yards, 11 TDs, and 14 INTs, averaging 6.5 YPA with a rating of 73.2. Those aren't exactly jaw dropping numbers. Even if you take away Kolb's stats as a second year player in 2008, when he was thrown into the fire after McNabb was benched against a very good Ravens defense, those numbers still only improve to 62%, 1938 yds, 11 TDs, 10 INTs, 6.8 YPA, and an 80.4 rating. Personally, I watched almost all of Kolb's starts over the last two years and have walked away largely unimpressed, which is surprising since I liked him far more than any other QB in the 2007 class coming out of college (and I was totally right! Granted, he only had to top JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, and Trent Edwards, but a win is a win).

I get what people seem to like about Kolb, though. He's a young guy (27 next month) with a great build at 6'3'', 218. He's got a very strong arm, he racked up a lot of yards and experience in college, he spent several years under the tutelage of a well-respected offensive head coach, and he has shown flashes in those seven starts, including back-to-back 300 yard games in 2009 and a 326 yard, 3 touchdown effort against the Falcons this year. I won't deny there's enough there to warrant a trade for him, but I'm not sure he's necessarily worth the kind of first round bounty that people are associating with him, considering that in 4 of the 6 games where he threw at least 10 passes this year he had mediocre to extremely poor outings (56.2 rating vs. GB, 76.0 vs. WASH, 56.9 vs. TEN, 37.0 vs. DAL).

I truly do believe that Kolb would be an upgrade for almost all of the teams that are rumored to be interested in his services (Arizona, Seattle, and Cleveland among others), but I don't think he's a franchise quarterback worth the kind of bounty that we've seen those type of players draw in the past. All of those franchises have enough holes that they'd be best served continuing to build from within while finding a stopgap QB at a lower price. Arizona and Seattle could both compete in a crappy division with a more affordable veteran while building an actual contender through the draft. If either of those teams (Arizona particularly) gets into the habit of patching holes with high-priced veterans in order to skate by in a weak division they could very well end up in a jam like the Redskins.

Looking around I see the following names as available quarterbacks this offseason:

Free Agents:
Marc Bulger
Brodie Croyle
Trent Edwards
Rex Grossman
Matt Hasselbeck
Tarvaris Jackson
Matt Leinart
Matt Moore
Brady Quinn
Alex Smith
Drew Stanton
Tyler Thigpen

Trade Candidates:
Kyle Orton
Carson Palmer
Donovan McNabb
Vince Young

Of the trade candidates I'd say it's likely that McNabb and Young will be released rather than traded, since both make way more money than they are worth on their current deals. As for Carson Palmer, well, I think Mike Brown might truly be crazy enough to let Palmer go through on his threat to retire rather than try to get any actual value for a guy that could reap a substantial reward in draft picks in a thin market. Only the f*&king Bengals...

That really leaves Kyle Orton as the only other viable starting quarterback prospect on the trade market besides Kevin Kolb. I'd say of that list the best candidates for starting positions (in order) are:

Kyle Orton
Alex Smith
Donovan McNabb
Marc Bulger
Vince Young
Matt Hasselbeck
Rex Grossman
Assorted Garbage

Obviously, I think somewhat highly of Kyle's ability to not embarass himself as a professional NFL quarterback. He certainly has his limitations, something that Denver managed to hide to an extent the last two years (although not well enough to prevent his overthrow by Tim Tebow, which by all accounts will occur this year), but he's also a guy more than capable at this point of guiding an NFL offense for a year or two. In my mind it'd be a much wiser proposition on the Cardinals part to send a mid-round draft pick to Denver in order to acquire Orton rather than send a first round or a possible mid-round+player package (I'm hearing possibly Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, which would be absurd) to Philadelphia for Kolb. Build a team that can consistently compete while Orton manages the game and sends some ducks Larry Fitzgerald's way (and Brandon Lloyd's #s last year would indicate that Kyle is capable of heaving the ball downfield to a wide receiver capable of making plays) and then turn that team over to a more talented QB that you find somewhere in the draft.

I really do apologize to Donovan McNabb for the fact that I've got him ranked lower than Alex Smith, but at his age with his injury history I'm not sure he could give you a year of average production, whereas Smith could give you many years of absolutely average production. I mean that in the nicest way, Alex. I think Smith probably will get more chance with the Niners, since Harbaugh appears to think he can be the one that finally "fixes" him. I'm more than eager to see the Vikings make the McNabb mistake.

As for the others, well, Bulger was never that good without Faulk/Jackson/Bruce/Holt and Mike Martz and hasn't done much since 2006 to show that he wasn't just the product of a system. He's not worth a starter's job. Vince Young would be worth a gamble for a team with a strong running game that would allow him to make the occasional play without having to rely upon him to win games (something that Tennessee was able to do with Chris Johnson). Matt Hasselbeck seems to be the second most popular name out there these days, which is funny since he's old, oft-injured and completely unproductive since 2007. As for Grossman, well, I'd be very happy to see him get another starting opportunity with the Redskins, but Shanahan appears willing to roll the dice on John Beck in what I assume must be some kind of sinister plan to tank the season and acquire Andrew Luck.

So really the market boils down to Kolb and Orton, and I'd have to say that anybody willing to stake the future of their franchise on Kevin Kolb will be disappointed. His ceiling may be higher than Orton, but I'd have to say Orton is most likely going to be the better value, price wise.

Cutler's Mechanics- Just a Talking Point?

2011-07-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

One of the universally acknowledged critiques of Jay Cutler is that his "mechanics are bad." Even Cutler's most ardent defenders (like yours truly) have a tendency to preface their defenses with "of course, he needs to improve his mechanics, but.." before moving on. Guys like Trent Dilfer feast upon this unargued talking point in order to condemn Cutler as a player who tries to skate by on his talent and doesn't improve his game. The question I have then, is two-fold: what are "bad" mechanics and are Cutler's really that bad?

When most people discuss throwing mechanics when it comes to football, I generally assume they're discussing the following:

1. The Drop- When the QB takes the ball from under center, does he take the proper amount of steps? Does he plant his back foot? Does he shift his body forward before throwing?

2. Pocket Presence- Does the QB step up in the pocket when he feels pressure, or does he fall back resulting in sacks and negative yardage? Does he scramble only when necessary? When he throws on the move does he he set his feet?

3. Throwing motion- Does he plant his feet correctly? Does he have his shoulder and lead foot aimed towards his target? Does he throw across his body?

So I took a look at these two highlight videos of Cutler's career with the Bears and, in addition to previous experience, have made some conclusions about Cutler's mechanics:

Now, there are obviously some issues with judging a quarterback based on highlight videos, since you aren't going to see many plays that showcase his negatives, but there's enough of a sample size there to make some observations about his mechanics.

As far as Cutler's drops go, I don't think that's ever been much of a problem. He played in a pro-style offense at Vandy and Shanahan utilized him almost exclusive under center in Denver so he's never had the problems with that some have had. I think it is interesting that, watching the 2010 highlights (and something I'd noticed throughout this season) is that Martz likes to have Cutler take an old-school backpedal-style drop back with his shoulders parallel to the line of scrimmage, rather than the more typical sideways, cross-legged drop back with the shoulders perpendicular to the line. I think Martz probably does this for a couple reasons, since it makes it easier for Jay to survey the entire field while he's dropping back and allows him to straighten up and set his feet faster than he does in the usual style. This may have been one of many compromises Martz made to allow Jay to still look downfield for long throws while also giving him the quicker drop he needs to get the ball out in case of trouble. It also seems to fit with Martz' origins as a Don Coryell-disciple, since any highlight footage of Dan Fouts shows him taking very similar drops.

Pocket presence is an area where I think Jay's lack of protection has damaged his reputation. Any quarterback that takes 87 sacks in two years is going to have accusations of holding the ball too long, but in general I think Jay's a fairly sound player within the pocket. He knows more often than not to step up against the pressure (which I think is particularly evident in the video several times, notably his scrambling shovel pass to Forte through the mob in the Eagles game and his 15+ yard scrambles against the Vikings, Packers, and Dolphins). He very rarely runs backward in the pocket in a futile attempt to escape pressure (something Rex Grossman was very fond of), so he often minimizes the losses the team takes from sacks, like the season opener against Detroit when he took 4 sacks but lost just 10 yards total.

I also think Jay's a very smart and very selective scrambler. As Football Outsiders notes, he was the best quarterback in the NFL last year in rushing for 3rd down conversions and it's frightening to think just how high the team's sack total could have been had he not been able to escape and create on his own.

As for throwing on the move, this is one of Jay's greatest strengths and one that has been surprisingly under-utilized by both Ron Turner and Mike Martz. Jay's mechanics are actually pretty sound when he's scrambling, which is odd given that most quarterbacks tend to be much more mechanically sound within the pocket. I'd say one play that really demonstrates this is the throw to Hester during the Eagles game this year where Jay scrambles out of the pocket and heads for the line of scrimmage but pulls back, sets his feet, and throws to Hester for a big gain after the linebacker left his coverage responsibility in order to make the tackle. Another good example in the 2009&2010 highlight video is his throw to Johnny Knox in the opener against the Lions this year. Cutler has the arm strength to throw without setting his feet, but he still sets them whenever he doesn't have a defender draped around him.

I also think Cutler's tendency to "throw off of his back foot" is both overstated and completely misunderstood. If you're going to be a successful quarterback in the NFL you have to be able to throw and complete passes off of your back foot. Pressure will come, protection will break down, and you will have to be able to complete passes in less than ideal conditions. Hell, some plays are designed to be back-foot throws. Two examples of this are the TD throws that Cutler lofts to Johnny Knox in the 2009 highlights against the Falcons and the Vikings. Both are back foot throws that Cutler completes for scores because he has the arm strength and accuracy to do so. If you don't buy my argument about this, go watch a replay of The Catch and look and see which foot Joe Montana's got planted on the ground when he's tossing the ball to Dwight Clark. The trick when throwing off of your back foot, however, is to keep your body straight and to prevent your momentum from going backwards. When a quarterback is pressured from the front and is falling backward, it's nearly impossible to keep the ball from sinking and falling short of it's intended target. The DeAngelo Hall pick six in this year's Redskins game is a perfect example of Cutler attempting to make a throw when he should just eat it since his momentum is carrying him to the ground.

As for his actual throwing mechanics, I think Jay vastly improved this year but also was never truly as bad as he's been made out to be. The best example of picture-perfect mechanics that he's ever shown would be his three touchdown passes against the Jets this year, particularly the last touchdown throw to Knox, where he sets his feet, very quickly shuffles his feet in the pocket while shifting his shoulder to his targets as he goes through his progressions, then fires the ball over Knox's shoulder for the TD.

What I'm trying to say here is that these videos illustrate my main point, which is that Cutler's mechanics aren't inherently bad, given that he appears to be a textbook quarterback when he has the time to set his feet and throw, whether he's on the move or not. The problem is that Cutler will indeed regress and slip up when he's pressured consistently throughout the course of a game. This isn't really the damning evidence against his work ethic or ability that it is often made out to be. Almost all quarterbacks will begin to slip up if they're pressured regularly. The Bears allowed pressures, hits, or sacks on 308 of 522 drop backs this year (60%), so naturally Cutler's worst tendencies are going to be exacerbated. Does this make him an inherently bad or risky player?

Maybe, but it's also worth noting that Peyton Manning was sacked fewer times than any QB in the league this year, but had 11 interceptions in one three game stretch in which he was pressured more than usual. Drew Brees "regressed" and threw 22 interceptions this year when the Saints offensive line struggled with some injuries and their sack totals and total pressures both increased from the previous year. Almost all quarterbacks have a natural tendency to force the issue in an attempt to make plays when conditions are breaking down. You simply have to minimize the opportunities for bad play by reducing the pressure on the quarterback, because Jay Cutler sure looks like a nice pocket passer...when he has a pocket.